"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Your Most Important DJ Skill: The Ability To Disconnect

bigneil

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As a DJ you will pursue many women, and not all of them will submit to your charms. Therefore, it is critical to be able to "turn off" your feelings for certain woman at will, in particular the extremely attractive ones.

Part of being able to disconnect is not overconnecting (i.e. obsessing) in the first place. When you focus on any idea it is like looking at the sun. After you look away it leaves trails and distorts your vision. If you think about a woman too much you will find her image superimposed everywhere you look, so beware of this. When you find this occurring it's probably because something is lacking in your life (other women for example). However, we often become obsessed with them to begin with because they became obsessed with us but then withdrew their affection. We're only as good as our second best option.

The ability to disconnect your feelings comes with practice. You need to not only have a couple numbers to text, but a couple relationships going (that is, women you are having sex with).

Often in a relationship you don't have to actually end it, but simply temporarily pause things by walking away and making her pursue you. Anytime she does anything you don't like you should basically walk away until she approaches you again.

When you learn to disconnect from women who reject you, you will often find they become interested later, but more importantly you will be able to remain focused on the women who are interested now.



EDIT: In italics.
 
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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PlayHer Man

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Agree 100%. Great post.

A man's legs are his most powerful tool in a relationship. This is why a married man is powerless. Women need that attention and validation from men to have "power". When you walk away and refuse to play her game.. she has no power and no control. The only way to get that power she seeks is to EARN IT by working harder.

You basically reverse the game on her. I've done it on many women and it works VERY well. The more effort she invests in you, the harder it is for her to leave. :yes:

"A man is only as faithful as his options."
-- Chris Rock
 

TheCWord

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One of the most important posts made on this forum in a while. I hope more discussion takes place in this thread - always love hearing examples too.
 

Uncharted

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Yet again bigneil comes through. This is also why it's almost impossible to date someone that you work with. When you see them everyday it's much easier to get oneitis or act AFC because you're thinking about them.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Deep Dish

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bigneil said:
When you focus on any idea it is like looking at the sun. After you look away it leaves trails and distorts your vision. If you think about a woman too much you will find her image superimposed everywhere you look, so beware of this.
Well spoken!
 

TheCWord

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Uncharted said:
This is also why it's almost impossible to date someone that you work with. When you see them everyday it's much easier to get oneitis or act AFC because you're thinking about them.
This is EXACTLY what happened with my 2012 oneitis.
 
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