"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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You must tell yourself she's already left

Snag87

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I truly believe there's only one way to interact with romantic interests: to tell yourself she's already left and respond accordingly. Think about it rationally; what percent of relationships stand the test of time (until one partner dies)? The percentage is infinitesimally small. Therefore, make no mistake about, eventually she will leave you (or vice versa). Given this undeniable truth why bend over backwards to appease your partner? You are the priority, always.

An obvious exception is if you have children. Once you have children you're inextricably linked. You will have to work as a team to some degree to properly raise your offspring, and they should be your priority.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Cloudtopsun2100

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Tell yourself she has already left? Thats going to show up in your behavior in a bad way. Think of department store workers and their attitude about 3 days before the store is about to shutter up for good. They have told themselves the "job has already left" and you can tell in their behavior no matter if they are being fake nice that something is up with them.
 

touma.akagi

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I'm going to share a line that's always going to be true of dating and relationships. "If it's not fun, it's not optimal."

You aren't supposed to bend over backwards. You aren't supposed to be desperate to appease someone. Every guy on this site has more or less come to the realization that trying hard leads to misery. It's the truth whether we like it or not.

But having defeatist attitudes and "accepting" that things will end early on and just living in that isn't the solution. In fact, in many way sit's just as bad. If you're pessimistic about the relationship, then that will manifest itself in your actions whether you realize it or not. Your attitude isn't something you can just hide and act stoic about.

So why then have a bad attitude and have it ruin the relationship prematurely when you can instead have a good time with women and have fun with them, which in turn inspires good feelings in both of you? If you're not having fun with the women in your life, then it's time to replace them with new ones, plain and simple. Why be on the one-sided end of an ass-kissing relationship when you can have relationships with mutual respect instead?
 

RickTheToad

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I truly believe there's only one way to interact with romantic interests: to tell yourself she's already left and respond accordingly. Think about it rationally; what percent of relationships stand the test of time (until one partner dies)? The percentage is infinitesimally small. Therefore, make no mistake about, eventually she will leave you (or vice versa). Given this undeniable truth why bend over backwards to appease your partner? You are the priority, always.

An obvious exception is if you have children. Once you have children you're inextricably linked. You will have to work as a team to some degree to properly raise your offspring, and they should be your priority.
Or just don't give a crap. It sucks to say, but the saying rings true. The less you care, the more they work for your attention.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Trump

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To interact with romantic interests, you have to have sex with romantic interests. If a man is looking for more than that, he is delusional.

The hottest girl cannot give a man anything other than sex and babies, and maybe some entertainment for a few hours. Other than that, she is draining a man’s resources and wasting his time.

Yet all you men out there are trying to *connect* with these woman like they can give you something special.

Wake up men.
 

flowtheory

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While your execution of your thought isn’t sound, I believe what you’re trying to say is live life as if you are free — to give yourself freedom to still be you without living feeling encumbered by a need to make a woman happy.

I believe what you suffer from is a fear of loss. And this is to be investigated. It’s a justification to not live fully and with vulnerability. Anything in life worthwhile requires deep investment
 
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