"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You make me feel safe
- Thread starter phillies
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Tictac
Banned
dustmuffin
Master Don Juan
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- Jul 21, 2015
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- 2,495
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- 1,423
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- 63
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
It means you're doing it right.
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
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- Dec 16, 2015
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- 5,416
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- 7,941
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- 57
This is one of the things I wondered about. Like as in I make her feel secure, in a way a, beta gives a woman emotionally secure.
However I am a pretty ****y/ funny naturally. I enjoy teasing women a lot, I've always been this way.
As long as they don't mean safe as in not a challenge or something to that extent I think it's ok.
However I'm going to keep this in mind.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Or not "a man," but "The Man."
CrimsonPanther
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2013
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- 386
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- 36
a chick told this to me yesterday after i boned her, and it seemed pretty positive, so i guess it's a good thing.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Makes sense.
MrWood
Master Don Juan
yes, it is a good thing, or bad if you not into her.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
I could see how that could be the case for some women--especially women who are predisposed (at least subconsciously) to equate sex with the inherent need for provisioning and security that comes along with the risk of getting pregnant. In nature, that'd certainly be the case.
But those women, at least in the age group I deal with, are the minority (if they exist at all lol). Girls have an overabundance of security--regardless of their decisions. They're free to pursue arousal without concern for rational considerations--and they do. And uncertainty, possible danger, fear of loss, and unpredictability are arousing.
The most obvious context in my experience, when a girl says, "You make me feel safe," and you haven't slept with her, it would roughly translate to, You're reliable and respectful and not like those other guys who I perceive as sexual threats; I can hang out with you without worrying that you'll seduce me or escalate and that's really nice (for right now) after being pumped and dumped by a couple *******s, who I always felt insecure around because I knew they had options and might not answer my next text. Maybe you'll make a good boyfriend, but my standards for boyfriends are super high and rooted in fantasy so jump through all these hoops but by then you won't measure up or I'll lose interest, but I don't know why cause you're such a great guy. Oh, well...
I've had a girl or two put me in that box (totally delusional & wistful thinking on their part), usually as they are nearing their expiration of prime SMV; I usually drop out at that point or they get pissed off when I escalate. On the other hand, girls that I end up sleeping with usually say things like, "I never know what you're thinking," "But then I'll never hear from you again" "That's what you say to every girl," etc. Even if I overdo it and they drop off, those are the girls that I can hit up a couple months later to 'catch up.'
I think if you hit a happy medium with a girl who's earned commitment and she said something like that, then it would be a positive. And again, my experience with women tops out at about age 22; I'm sure that by the time they're in their late 20's their priorities shift to where 'safety' becomes more and more valuable.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
1) In your opinion is there something to what fastlife says above, that her saying "You make me feel safe" before sleeping with her means you're on the fast rack to the friend zone?
2) What are ways that a man can make a woman experience that feeling of safety with him?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.