"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

you guys are wise and good hearted gentlemen and ladies

Joined
May 28, 2003
Messages
1,519
Reaction score
2
Age
40
Location
Nodferatu's Lair
I was wondering what you guys think of this poem I'm going to express to my special female friend tomorrow..

I Couldn't Afford To Buy You A Present (So I Wrote You This Song)

I couldn't afford to buy you a present so I wrote you this song
I want all the lovers of the world to help me sing along
I'm only a simple man; I never made much money
But I've got a wealth of love to share with you honey

When I think of an angel I think of your face
I want to make sweet love to you by the fireplace
I want to be your architect of your castle of love
I'll never take for granted my gift from above

We'll take a ride through the foliage
Watch the leaves turn orange and brown
Woman, I never thought I'd say this
But I want to settle down

I wish we were on a deserted island
Just me and you
I'd climb right up a tree
And get a coconut for you
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Joined
May 28, 2003
Messages
1,519
Reaction score
2
Age
40
Location
Nodferatu's Lair
or would this one be more enthralling?

I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human

I was watering my rose garden and you walked by my place
I almost ran up to you in a lustful, unsensitive haste
I almost cried cause I acted so insensitive
But I wanted you to know about the feather-soft warmth I could give

I respect your feelings
I respect your gender
I respect your existence
I'll always be tender
Cause I respect your feelings
As a woman and a human

I'll be the pansy-growing gardener of our bouquet of love
A flower-wielding soldier with the grace of a dove
I'll love you all, heart, mind and soul, I'd never think of anything cheap
I'll read you some of my poems before you go to sleep

I respect your feelings
I respect your gender
I respect your existence
I'll always be tender
Cause I respect your feelings
As a woman and a human
 
Joined
May 28, 2003
Messages
1,519
Reaction score
2
Age
40
Location
Nodferatu's Lair
thank you for your appraisal tis' very chivalrous indeed my handwritten lullabies.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Nivek

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2004
Messages
34
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by penkitten
wow
quoted the top for truth

and this is a joke right??
 

California Love

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
652
Reaction score
0
Location
The Bay Area
I like em, especially the first. Watch the syllables and flow at the end of the first and the beginning of the second and they'll be good.
 

CaptainMorgan

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
41
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Location
Florida
beautiful.....just beautiful
 

Kidd

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 7, 2004
Messages
331
Reaction score
2
Lol dimebag...
 

Michael Chief

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
424
Reaction score
222
...or you could just get straight to the point by cutting off your balls, putting them on a silver platter, and offering them to her saying, "Will you please take my balls? Please?"

You could write a poem or song about that.

Please take my balls
i cry every night
facing the walls
Ill be your hotdog
thrown into your hall

:D

Funny.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

wavejams007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
876
Reaction score
3
Age
39
Location
jacksonville, FL
lol, grim.

Seriously, your songs are good, but especially cuz you made them up. They are original. Will you be playing the guitar to them, or what?
 

MetalFortress

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2003
Messages
3,264
Reaction score
22
Location
Keesler AFB, Mississippi

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

wavejams007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
876
Reaction score
3
Age
39
Location
jacksonville, FL
Metalfortress, you are right, and now I live to regret it. Grr.
 
Top