You are going to change today.

[JayCamx23]

oh by the way, what causes this lack of aggression?

 

[TheNewGuy]

Originally posted by The Comeback Kid
With Senior Prom coming up in 4 1/2 months, this may be a good time to post my main problem:

My main problem is taking flirting to the next level and developing things from there. For example, I talk to girls comfortably and I'm not real nervous. Once that intial flirting ends, I'm in trouble.

I have absolutely no problem talking to girls - I feel confident and girls have told me I am more "mature" (like how I carry myself, personality) than other guys. I am witty and can get girls to laugh as well (a lot of the time with wit). Unfortuately, I am not really good when it comes to kino and things like that. I've never gone on a date (I've asked out several girls during high school, but all said no, even though most of them showed some pretty good signs) never kissed a girl and never had s*x.

So, in short, my main problem is initiating kino constantly and getting girls to think of me in a more "dating" mind. I feel I am a good guy and am well-liked at school with both guys and girls (hot girls talk to me, but it seems it's not really with any dating intent), but I need to start sweeping girls off their feet...and I haven't been able to do it so far.

A smaller problem I have is I do get nervous when I'm instantly put on the spot, and I'm not prepared (I try to always be prerared for anything, but sometimes, I'm caught off-guard). Two weeks ago, some kid I get along with (but don't hang with outside of school) invited me to a party and said he had a girl there just for me from another school (I knew this wasn't exactly true, but he did invite me to the party). For some reason, I didn't feel comfortable with the whole situation - I was being put on the spot and I don't like having everyone watch every single move I take. So I guess this "being put on the spot" is my other problem.

We share the same problem, could someone please offer some advice?

 

[itishe]

My biggest problem is I lose all my good qualities when I'm around a female I like. I don't know how to act natural, or atleast feel I can't. I'm getting better though, adapting more of an "I don't care what you think" attitude, which without it will make you nervous of cracking a good joke.

My next biggest problem is putting "***** on a pedestal". I'd literally think that it's imperative I get laid as soon as possible. Now I realize, I should focus and improve on what skills I want, and eventually females will flock to you.

I'm be more daring now days, not the AFC who's afraid to offend the girl who'd love hearing me cracking a joke about her tits. I'm now putting more attention on improving my musical skills and I can already tell they're improving greatly.

Edit number 2: Might as well keep going if I have another one, this rounds out my top three. I have trouble one on one with females in a secluded area. It feels like I have to keep them entertained and then eventually I get nervous and can't think of anything to do, then by that time it feels a bit unnatural to start making out or something.

 

[sjchris]

Since AC/DC is probably off plucking a broad, I'll try to help some of u guys out.

toddc: You need to make sure she's more attracted to you than you to her the entire seduction process. Look for subtle cues in her body language (open body language), the amount of attention she pays to you, how much she's laughing, smiling etc. Don't even waste your time playing the text message game, I'm telling you its a huge waste of money. In fact, if she text messages you first then make fun of her for doing this like "If you want to talk then lets use the phone like real people". Stick to short phone calls, give her space and you'll be in the drivers seat my man.

jlazz: Try malls, coffee shops, grocery stores, book stores on the weekends. Girls are all around you just have to look.

Comebackkid: Starts slow with kino. Learn palmistry. Take her hand when leading her somewhere, but dont' keep her hand too long or else you'll seem needy. High-five her once in a while, do little play pushes (not hard) when she tries to act cute. After your first kiss you got the green light to escalate the kino. I'll tell you right now that the most important thing with kino is to make it seem as though is it COMPLETELY NATURAL, as if you do it to people all the time, not like shes some science experiment where your trying to study what her reaction will be. You should assume she wants to be touched, and if you make this very clear through your body language, you WILL get away with most anything.

DJ Joey: Read the bible. Check out David Deangelo, Swingcat, Mystery Method, fastseduction.com, sosuave.com, becomeaplayer.com. Read up all that ****.

Jaycam: Its not so much about being aggressive, its about being assertive. You have the keep the pace going, open her, elicit values, ****y and funny, and get that number. Then call her in a couple days, date her, more C&F, kino, kiss, etc. You gotta control the situation and keep it going, cuz she won't I guarantee you.

itishe: Read the bible. Just keep reminding yourself to stay calm and relaxed. Your attitude shouldnt be "I need to entertain her", it should be the other way around. Your attitude should be "What can this girl do for me", but of course don't be arrogant, but at the same time, your not her personal entertainer. Keep it fun. Don't EVER put a girl on a pedastal. She won't feel comfortable with that because its womans nature to put a the man she respects on a pedestal, not the other way around. Keep trying you WILL get better.

 

[08aisaac]

Originally posted by 08aisaac
I think maybe you should be elected president.
My biggest problem is I can't seem to hang out with guys. I'm poor, and have no car. I'm working on getting a job.
But I seem to hang out with chicks easily, I enjoy the company of platonic(sp) friends.
But like, I can't seem to go and hang out with the guys. I just moved to a new school this year, and I don't know how to hang out with a guy because I don't really have anything to do.
So how should I go about this?
Maybe I should call you some time. This is a great idea.

Ahh, no one replied to my post. But that makes sense, I didn't really outline a plan.

And I've been reading, and realize that most people fail because they don't outline a plan. I think they must think it a waste of time, or something. But it's not.

And I have a plan, to start improving my social skills, by hanging out with people, and doing everything I should have been doing to enjoy life.

And I should start this by starting my sentences with some other word beside And.

 

[Dante3214]

mm... I love the taste of a first post!




Anyway, my PROBLEM, or my ISSUE.


Is well.. at this time.. three things.


#1: I'm full of avoidance, the example in question, is a time when I talked/met this girl. She was quite nice, and strangely social (very social). I talked to her at the beginning of the year (only a freshman!) and after about a week she was moved to a distant side of the room. I have very little time to reach her in class, but the 30 second timespan I have doesn't give me much to ask/talk about... so I'm left feeling that I just wasted an important opportunity.. again

#2: There's another girl that used to be in my P.E. class, and in the time I talked to her I suprisingly got off on a better-than-retarded note. I like to talk to her because she see's things in me that no one else has seen (yet). Such as me being hurt when someone states something like.. "man you're short!" or "you're way too quiet!". I sit RIGHT next to her at lunch, luckily.. and I thought about using "kino" with her (it sounds so strange when I type it), but I don't because I'm afraid I'm going to weird her out (even though she seems perfectly fine with it). Now the only other problem I have, is striking up a match of conversation. Like everyone else, getting that match to burn fiercely is seemingly difficult.. I have honestly tried saying "just be yourself man.." ... but "myself" is one who is not afraid of touch, and loves to see women smile. (just a note: I AM taller than her! )

#3: This problem is nowhere near as daunting, and it is somewhat helpful.. in a way. There's a girl that I'm "friends" with... except I KNOW she likes me (she wrote it..) but I REALLY don't like her! AT ALL! On a scale of 10 she's a 4. She's touchy/feely .. and kinda creepy. She has absolutely no concept of human life and is quite the emo. BUT IT SUCKS SO MUCH!
I try to get her away! BUT SHE DOESN'T GET THE PICTURE! Ugh! I do my best to get her away but it has an opposite effect!
Why don't you just tell her to pl*ck off you might ask? Well, She's in two of my periods and my lunch (she luckily doesn't sit next to me at lunch), and as you know, women are emotional. The last thing I want is sick love-attention from that strange girl (I'm serious, I don't like fat chicks). Making a scene would be terrible for my slowly-climbing "reputation"... The only thing good about it is that I learned that I was actually fairly attractive. My eyes are somehow "pretty". And I have eyelashes that women die for..?

Another Note: After looking in the mirror for three hours (lol), and asking 1-2 random girls in a hallway, it would turn out that I'm not anywhere as bad as I thought I was! I'm almost clear-faced (little acne), I'm actually somewhere near cut now (muscles grow quickly when you have no body fat!). Just wanted to say that I don't really hold all girls on some silly magik pedestal (note #3), and I could easily get along with any girl I wanted, so long as I had the social skillz. (I have read most of the bible, but I may have missed something).

Please pm me if you care, as I'm not really sure what to do atm.. and I have VERY little patience with myself

 

[Viper]

I clean myself up, have good posture, good body language, but I just can't seem to build any interest with the ladies, I hardly ever get past asking "How's it going?", because I can't think of anything to say. Should I just straight out ask the chick what her interests are or start talking about mine?

 

[AC/DC]

Originally posted by Viper
I clean myself up, have good posture, good body language, but I just can't seem to build any interest with the ladies, I hardly ever get past asking "How's it going?", because I can't think of anything to say. Should I just straight out ask the chick what her interests are or start talking about mine?

You need to call me.

I will respond to everyone tonight after I get off work 10PM West Coast.

 

[itishe]

I'm seeing vast improvements in my game already. Girls that havn't talked to me in a while, are starting to get friendly once again . I'm calming down more, and busting their chops a bit more instead of being such a puss.

One quick question, sometimes I feel I gotta keep a convo going when it dies in person or online. Sometimes best to just let it die or does it make you look like a social idiot?

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by AC/DC
You need to call me.

I will respond to everyone tonight after I get off work 10PM West Coast.

I really want to call you man, believe me, Winter Formal coming up and I'm definitely looking to get a date, but I don't know, first of all, my parents are real noisy, so if I'm on the phone with somebody, they'll be asking me, "Who are you on the phone with?" or if they pick it up, they might think it's a prank caller or something. This is why I wish I had a cell phone, but if you got AIM, we can definitely talk, I have a microphone to, so you'll be able to hear me.

 

[Dude2Stud]

Probs:

1- Skinny guy
2- After saying "hi" a girl I am into, keeping a conversation flowing is hard because I want to make it interesting and I hate those horrible silences that make me ask stupid questions. The worse part is they notice it lol. (Viper style prob).
3- Not that of a funny guy (it is even hard for me to laugh about things because I don't consider them funny).
4- I'm a quiet guy.
5- Maybe I'm too nice. For example, I was in a bar w/my friends, some girl in our crowd asks for a ride because their parents are going to kill her if she's late. So I can't be like "NO I won't give you ride". The ****er doesn't even say Hi at school, very rarely.

What am I doing?

1- Attending to gym.
2- Listen what other people talk about too see their interests, investigate and experience them for then having a better rapport with them.
3- Again, listening what other people say that make them laugh.
4- In class it's something you can't help. It is even annoying when the teacher is talking and you hear people mumbling.
5- Maybe that was a special case, in which you must be a gentleman.

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

I know I'm a little late, but I don't really have any problems... haha, at least not ones large enough that I couldn't fix on my own.

So... I guess I'll just help then, at least with everyone who posts after I do. : )

AS

 

[08aisaac]

Originally posted by Dude2Stud
Probs:

1- Skinny guy
2- After saying "hi" a girl I am into, keeping a conversation flowing is hard because I want to make it interesting and I hate those horrible silences that make me ask stupid questions. The worse part is they notice it lol. (Viper style prob).
3- Not that of a funny guy (it is even hard for me to laugh about things because I don't consider them funny).
4- I'm a quiet guy.
5- Maybe I'm too nice. For example, I was in a bar w/my friends, some girl in our crowd asks for a ride because their parents are going to kill her if she's late. So I can't be like "NO I won't give you ride". The ****er doesn't even say Hi at school, very rarely.

What am I doing?

1- Attending to gym.
2- Listen what other people talk about too see their interests, investigate and experience them for then having a better rapport with them.
3- Again, listening what other people say that make them laugh.
4- In class it's something you can't help. It is even annoying when the teacher is talking and you hear people mumbling.
5- Maybe that was a special case, in which you must be a gentleman.

That's cool. I just noticed that you said you're skinny. How tall are you? Because I'm about 135 pounds, and 6', I use it to my advantage.
As for everything else, it just takes practice. If you're a bad conversationalist, work on talking to people. Talk to everyone. PM me and I can give you my copy of "How to win friends and influence people." Basically it can totally change how you interact with people.

 

[AC/DC]

Originally posted by itishe
I'm seeing vast improvements in my game already. Girls that havn't talked to me in a while, are starting to get friendly once again . I'm calming down more, and busting their chops a bit more instead of being such a puss.

One quick question, sometimes I feel I gotta keep a convo going when it dies in person or online. Sometimes best to just let it die or does it make you look like a social idiot?

Let it die. That's fine.

 

[AC/DC]

Originally posted by Microphone Fiend
my problem is escalating past flirting even when signals are there, and finding new places to meet girls....oh and my club game is terrible

You're not being physical enough. The problem lies in that you fail to create intimacy. You need to get physical. You don't need "new places", you need to work with what you have if you don't drive.

 

[Dude2Stud]

Originally posted by 08aisaac
That's cool. I just noticed that you said you're skinny. How tall are you? Because I'm about 135 pounds, and 6', I use it to my advantage.
As for everything else, it just takes practice. If you're a bad conversationalist, work on talking to people. Talk to everyone. PM me and I can give you my copy of "How to win friends and influence people." Basically it can totally change how you interact with people.

I'm around 114 Lbs 5'7 Believe it or not. Sure I would like that copy of the book. Any e-mail or way you can send it to me?

 

[The Master Disaster]

I get bored. I think i have a problem. I start liking a girl and than snooze whose next. I have no-itis instease of one-itis. I'll see a doctor or something.

 

[Flabbergasped?]

Problem: My problem is close to Comeback Kid's, but it goes deeper. I just don't want girls enough. I could have a golden opportunity, but I ignore it, not because I couldn't or because I was lazy, but because I don't view it as important. That happens really often, and maybe it's because I have so much on my mind lately (extracurriculars, senior year wrapup, etc), and so on. The DJing part is fine, but the actual actions just aren't coming.

Because of that, I don't go past basic flirting. I'm sure I can, and I have, but afterwards, I just stop pushing for it. Subconsciously, I don't value girls enough to actually do anything (not to say I'm sexist, I've approached plenty of girls, just never gotten very far past that point.)

 

[phatboi408]

I have givin up and Im not trying at all to get girls.

Iwould want to but I need to change my look. I always wear a hood because Im trying to grow my hair, if not it looks like crap.

I usto have spiked hair and now Im tryin to grow it out and it looks like crap(to me). I need help on hair styles (long hair) and then that would boost my confedence. It doesnt look like crap but I dont like it so Im growing it longer to see if it looks any good.

 

[Mycroft]

1. I need to convey an air of cofidence that shows through my physical apperence, athough I am mentally confident.

2. I need to learn to flirt without the result being friends with a girl.