You are going to change today.

[AC/DC]

In this thread, you are going to identify your biggest problem.

Not "I can't talk to girls". SPECIFICALLY IDENTIFY the problem.

Then, I want you to analyze this weak point, and create a plan to make it better.

I will personally read your plan, and give you additional advice on how I think you can help make your HS experience an enjoyable one!

My biggest problem at this moment is I get sprung really easily off girls and call them alot at first. I eventually ease off after a while bit it messed stuff up sometimes. I'm working on that, and basically I keep myself occupied with other girls so that way I always have good options.

Also, to those of you who have called me, there's a good number of you (I had a DJ from Minnesota talk to me for 20min yesterday!), PM me so I know how your situations and problems are working out!

Let's go baby! The road starts here.

 

[The Real Ice Man]

I show too much interest at first when I meet an exceptionally hot girl that I like. No...I don't call all the time or send flowers or anything like that, I'm just often too "obvious." To fix this, I am practicing and getting much better at showing disinterest and not killing the mystery during the first encounters.

This thread is a really cool idea, AC/DC. I'm glad you came up with this.

 

[iCandy]

Problem:

i have no problem with being ****y and funny. In fact I think I'm great at it. I can get off real easy with calling girls hoes, *****es and sluts. Ironically, they seem to enjoy it. Now my problem is from getting to being the FUN ****y and funny guy to a friend they can have rapport with. Seems like when I'm around a girl I find it hard to keep a convo without being ****y and funny. Calling girls *****es and hoes is starting to get old.

PS. I DO NOT constantly call girls *****es and Hoes. And whenever, I do i do it in a VERY funny way as so not to offend them.


Also a smaller problem I have:

There is this girl that I tried to kiss that rejected me. FOR SOME ****ING reason I can't get her off my head. Whenever she's around I feel like I have to talk to every girl to make it seem like I AM NOT intimidated by her and that I DO NOT need her. How can i change this?

 

[08aisaac]

I think maybe you should be elected president.
My biggest problem is I can't seem to hang out with guys. I'm poor, and have no car. I'm working on getting a job.
But I seem to hang out with chicks easily, I enjoy the company of platonic(sp) friends.
But like, I can't seem to go and hang out with the guys. I just moved to a new school this year, and I don't know how to hang out with a guy because I don't really have anything to do.
So how should I go about this?
Maybe I should call you some time. This is a great idea.

 

[AC/DC]

Originally posted by The Real Ice Man
I show too much interest at first when I meet an exceptionally hot girl that I like. No...I don't call all the time or send flowers or anything like that, I'm just often too "obvious." To fix this, I am practicing and getting much better at showing disinterest and not killing the mystery during the first encounters.

This thread is a really cool idea, AC/DC. I'm glad you came up with this.

Don't make yourself too eager. I know it's difficult beacuse you want to make them yours and not go through all the waiting, but you need to tough it through. The interactions you have need to be short and PLEASURABLE. What I mean is you need to make her smile and feel good about herself in the short tiem you have togheter. This is so during the long time u have apart, she'll think of how you made her feel, not what you said. Keep up the good work.

 

[Kerensky]

acdc is da man. a very philanthropic man...

Problem:

I take things too personally regarding insults, girls' reactions to me, and life in general. For example, if a girl calls me up one day and chats a lot, but the next day she doesn't even acknowledge me, then I feel kinda cheated and angry on the inside. Also, when people insult me, I try to laugh it off, but yea I think that makes me even a bigger target.

K's Proposed Solution:

I will not to day dream or set high expectations from other people.

I will notice excessive personal attacks from someone and cut them off or not take them seriously anymore. I will treat like as if they were a joke and even begin prodding them instead of th eother way around.

uh...I can not focus my attention on anyone thing, girl, object, etc.

I should realize plans don't cover for everythign, so developing a sense of flexibility is important.

I will let go of my ***** ass mindset and forget about looking for security. I will create security w/in myself as a person.




Ok AC/DC. I need some input on this issue. Thanks bro.

 

[AC/DC]

Re: acdc is da man. a very philanthropic man...

Originally posted by Kerensky
Problem:

I take things too personally regarding insults, girls' reactions to me, and life in general. For example, if a girl calls me up one day and chats a lot, but the next day she doesn't even acknowledge me, then I feel kinda cheated and angry on the inside. Also, when people insult me, I try to laugh it off, but yea I think that makes me even a bigger target.

Good analysis!

K's Proposed Solution:

I will not to day dream or set high expectations from other people.

I will notice excessive personal attacks from someone and cut them off or not take them seriously anymore. I will treat like as if they were a joke and even begin prodding them instead of th eother way around.

Treat them as a joke. And don't expect anything from anyone. Make everythign happen yourself. Your goals and what YOU want is the most important thing.

uh...I can not focus my attention on anyone thing, girl, object, etc.

I should realize plans don't cover for everythign, so developing a sense of flexibility is important.

Everything is situational. Nothing ever goes according to plan, sometimes it is better that way. No one expected a hot latina to meet up with me thru myspace and we ended up spending the whole night together.

Not focusing means lack of discipline. I have this problem too, not sure how to fix it.

I will let go of my ***** ass mindset and forget about looking for security. I will create security w/in myself as a person.

Ok AC/DC. I need some input on this issue. Thanks bro. [/B]

Easier said than done. This takes confidence, and to a certain degree, ego. This will take lots of time. But picture the way you want to be, and start behaving that way. As you think you shall become, right?

 

[Viper]

I can approach women no problem. The problem is, I can't think of anything to say after a while, so like if I can't think of anything, should I just straight out ask her what she likes? I always seem to get stuck. The girl doesn't reject me, I just can't think of anything to say after a while and then there's complete silence and I walk away. When I approach, I go up to her with a smile, eye contact, charisma and body language, but after a while, I just can't think of anything to say. Remember, these are random girls, girls that I've most likely never talked to before and probably wouldn't even know the names of, if it wasn't for the yearbook. This is a typical approach for me:

Me: Hey, how's it goin'?
Girl: Good.
Me: That's good, anything worth mentioning?
Girl: No.
Me: I see.
Me: So, what's your name?
Girl: [Name]
Me: Oh, that's cool, I'm Mike.

 

[sexy_kuta]

Originally posted by Viper
I can approach women no problem. The problem is, I can't think of anything to say after a while, so like if I can't think of anything, should I just straight out ask her what she likes? I always seem to get stuck. The girl doesn't reject me, I just can't think of anything to say after a while and then there's complete silence and I walk away. When I approach, I go up to her with a smile, eye contact, charisma and body language, but after a while, I just can't think of anything to say. Remember, these are random girls, girls that I've most likely never talked to before and probably wouldn't even know the names of, if it wasn't for the yearbook. This is a typical approach for me:

i have a simlair problem

trick is
flirt as much as possible.. make her laugh and make her feel in shock.. like "oh no he did not just say that"
flirt as much as possible!.. when you do that.. you show that ur a fun guy to be with and ur not boring.. and u have a good personatilty.. but dont come off as a perve.. flirt about anything.. tease her...

 

[AC/DC]

Viper:

explain why you ask her wats up BEFORE you ask her for her name? That seems kind of weird. She'll be thinking "how is he gonna come and ask me wats up when he doesnt even know my name". thats the first problem.

Second, you're off to a good start, keep going.

YOU STILL NEED TO GIVE ME A PHONE CALL. PM ME.

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by AC/DC
Viper:

explain why you ask her wats up BEFORE you ask her for her name? That seems kind of weird. She'll be thinking "how is he gonna come and ask me wats up when he doesnt even know my name". thats the first problem.

Second, you're off to a good start, keep going.

YOU STILL NEED TO GIVE ME A PHONE CALL. PM ME.

Good advice, but I've been off to the same "good start" for a good 8 monthes and haven't really gotten pasts that.

 

[toddC]

Hmm...my main problem is as follows:

When I know a girl has interest in me I kinda push it too far to a point where I text them all the time and I kinda act like where exclusive. If we hookup once and then she gets with somone else I get jealous. Also ontop of this...I'm very afraid of hanging with a girl alone. I don't know why but I just am. I hung out with 6 girls by myself last week and that was pretty much the first time in years I've hung with girls w/o any of my wingmen.

Those are my 2 main problems

 

[jlazz]

I'll join in:

My main problem is MEETING GIRLS! See, I go to an all guys school, so I don't have the opportunities all of you guys have.

I'm slowly friending new guys so I have more opportunities to go out and meet girls.

My plan is to start clubbing so I can expand my contacts with girls, get #'s, and see where it goes from there.

I'm also rusty from not gaming it once I got a girlfriend. I'm not looking for a relationship anymore, just meeting more girls...hooking up...and getting ready for college. Right now I'm just looking to have a good time.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

my problem is escalating past flirting even when signals are there, and finding new places to meet girls....oh and my club game is terrible

 

[The Comeback Kid]

With Senior Prom coming up in 4 1/2 months, this may be a good time to post my main problem:

My main problem is taking flirting to the next level and developing things from there. For example, I talk to girls comfortably and I'm not real nervous. Once that intial flirting ends, I'm in trouble.

I have absolutely no problem talking to girls - I feel confident and girls have told me I am more "mature" (like how I carry myself, personality) than other guys. I am witty and can get girls to laugh as well (a lot of the time with wit). Unfortuately, I am not really good when it comes to kino and things like that. I've never gone on a date (I've asked out several girls during high school, but all said no, even though most of them showed some pretty good signs) never kissed a girl and never had s*x.

So, in short, my main problem is initiating kino constantly and getting girls to think of me in a more "dating" mind. I feel I am a good guy and am well-liked at school with both guys and girls (hot girls talk to me, but it seems it's not really with any dating intent), but I need to start sweeping girls off their feet...and I haven't been able to do it so far.

A smaller problem I have is I do get nervous when I'm instantly put on the spot, and I'm not prepared (I try to always be prerared for anything, but sometimes, I'm caught off-guard). Two weeks ago, some kid I get along with (but don't hang with outside of school) invited me to a party and said he had a girl there just for me from another school (I knew this wasn't exactly true, but he did invite me to the party). For some reason, I didn't feel comfortable with the whole situation - I was being put on the spot and I don't like having everyone watch every single move I take. So I guess this "being put on the spot" is my other problem.

 

[Dustin]

I can't talk to any girl except this grad...She's like perfect lol but I'm friends with all he friends n junk... anyways I need a step by step on how to advance... thanks AC/DC.

 

[Bling]

1) I'm one skinny mother****er,
2) not the best with come backs
3) Lately been getting way too hyper, and getting people annoyed. I think I've been having like 70g of sugar during lunch--bad move. Don't know what to bring to lunch. I hate tuna, and school food is nasty pizza or nasty processed chicken.
4) Not good with the ladies. I have a bunch of girls I'm interested in right now, but there's one I really like. I kino her, but for some odd reason, I pick on her like hell. and I don't mean cute picking on, I've actually said some real mean things to her unintentionally. I think I ruined my chances, and it's a bummer.
5) My bags under my eyes.

 

[Brak86]

Originally posted by AC/DC

My biggest problem at this moment is I get sprung really easily off girls and call them alot at first. I eventually ease off after a while bit it messed stuff up sometimes. I'm working on that, and basically I keep myself occupied with other girls so that way I always have good options.


Let's go baby! The road starts here.

ahahah thats really funny...my problem is exactly the opposite...im slowly improving it but i worry about making myself sound desperate so i avoid calling a girl. For girls i wanted, i used to try not to let them know i wanted them, ridiculous isnt it?

 

[Dj Joey]

Well, I think I realy too much on my appearance. I've never gotten a girl by myself, All of them, were luck. The girl must be interested in me first, or i fail. I'm too picky too.

I've tried 2 times, to get a girl i have liked. I failed both times, and i guess this is because I have no idea how to keep a conversation going at some point. I know basic conversation skills such as: "identifying nouns and asking open questions" but after a while, i get like paralized, and i don't know what to say. All we do is stay quiet, and even try to seem comfortable with the environment, but i can't fake!. Sometimes i'm really good, but sometimes i really suck at this.

Everybody in my group acts cool, except me, and i act in a dorky way, which i guess that makes me fun to hang out with. But it doesnt work with girls... I dont know how to "be cool" but i'd rather have a dorky, fun mind, than become "into a boring cool person" the only problem is that with my dorkyness, I have no leadership. I need to become alpha.

My ex-girlfriend liked me because of the way i was. Because even though i hanged out with the picky people, I didnt care to be funny and act stupid. She was just like me, but too bad she moved and left me alone ...

Now, I like a girl, but i can't keep conversations with her. Sometimes i can, but then I screw everything up and i have to start again from scratch.

I want to be ****y, funny, and a little bit arrogant, but interesting... I have no idea how though.

 

[cubed]

Nice thread

My Problem:

My biggest problem is probably passing up opportunities. For example I see a girl on the bus. I could say something to her, but it's way too easy to just let the opportunity slip by, so I sit by doing nothing. I don't think it's because I am afraid of rejection or anything; it's just easier to let a moment pass by.


Solution:

I'm gonna have to push myself harder the next time. Not much of a strategy, but that's the best I can think of at the moment. Unfortunately, it's been what I've been trying the past while and it hasn't been working, so I'll have to think of something else. I'm sure once I get started, things will get a lot easier.