"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Write your DJ poetry here

InsidiousNstinct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2003
Messages
763
Reaction score
4
Age
40
Location
Somewhere between the cities of Lost and Found
I was standing in the bookstore of my local community college.
In through the door comes a girl sportin’ some Gucci and Gabbana. You could tell from her outfit that she was going to be hard to open and I’m not really out spoken. This was a perfect time to deliver a line but at the same time I didn’t want to think of it in my mind. I had learned in the past that when you think you hesitate and get blown…..off…. your….. ass.
She seen me lookin’ and took off her shades at this moment I couldn’t think of anything but getting laid.
I wanted to approach but I was so, so far away, not in the physical sense but in the mental. I wanted to have this chick for dinner……. and dessert, but if I wanted anything I needed to step up and assert….myself. I knew then it was time to do my thang, I made my way over and the battle began, I was like “what’s your name.”
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

diplomatic_lies

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2002
Messages
4,366
Reaction score
8
I once saw a 'tard,
He was eating some lard.
I said to him, Hey you,
Here's some poo!
 

wavejams007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
876
Reaction score
3
Age
39
Location
jacksonville, FL
Originally posted by Brian20o2
I know.... Im a non creative loser:( Ima go shoot myself...
I truly appreciate your sarcasm:rolleyes: I'll even lend you the gun.

just constructive criticism, bro.
 

Brian20o2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 24, 2005
Messages
958
Reaction score
3
Location
Paradise (with rain)
Originally posted by wavejams007
I truly appreciate your sarcasm:rolleyes: I'll even lend you the gun.

just constructive criticism, bro.
You do know I wont be able to give the gun back when Im done with it right?

But I know that someone else said that and I couldnt resist it was just so easy
 

wavejams007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
876
Reaction score
3
Age
39
Location
jacksonville, FL
oh well, It was a disposable gun anyways.:p
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Top