Wow..f***ked up

gettinit

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So, been chatting this girl up, went on a coffee date. Went out a week later for happy hour and kissed her when leaving. A few days later I asked to get together at a local spot we both know. It was a last minute thing and she said that she had plans but may stop by for one or two and that a new band would be playing. I replied that I was going to bounce around but might stop there. She texted me later in the night saying that she was there, but would be leaving soon. I was right around the corner from the place, so I went over there. She was sitting with a guy, obviously on a fu***ng date. Thankfully, I knew others there and hung with them. So, she comes over and whispers to me that she is leaving and will text me since she wants to hang out later. I'm thinking it's a date that she knew wasn't her first choice, but was stuck with it. We exchanged a text or two joking how the band sucked. So it gets to be too late and she comes by again, flirty and rubbing her t*ts on me. I could actually feel heat. So I simply said I was out of there.. WTF. It really pissed me off. I sent her a vauge text : Enjoy yourself?

Her: It's hard. Are you home yet?"
Me: Yes, I am. What do you mean?
Her: Always end up arguing with the guy I'm dating over him not being further along with his divorce.
Me: Whatever
Her:Yikes

I may just say f**k it and just not date anymore. Talk about a red pill moment. I don't think that she even realizes how f:ed up that was.
 
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LARaiders85

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Someone is going to find a way to make this your fault and I'm interested to see how lol. she is following the advice of some of the narcissistic men in this group by the way to double-book dates
 

Speculator E

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So it gets to be too late and she comes by again, flirty and rubbing her t*ts on me. I could actually feel heat. So I simply said I was out of there.. WTF. It really pissed me off. I sent her a vauge text : Enjoy yourself?

Her: It's hard. Are you home yet?"
Me: Yes, I am. What do you mean?
Her: Always end up arguing with the guy I'm dating over him not being further along with his divorce.
Me: Whatever
Her:Yikes

I may just say f**k it and just not date anymore. Talk about a red pill moment. I don't think that she even realizes how f:ed up that was.
You only went on two soft dates and know here a week or so.
You're not in a serious relationship with her.
It sounds like she was giving you a chance to escalate to something.
Why else would she be texting you for
Girls like to test guys like that to see if they get jealous. All of them do that.
You getting emotional over this shows you care too much.
That's where you messed up.

She went over and rubbed her tits on you!
So it gets to be too late and she comes by again, flirty and rubbing her t*ts on me. I could actually feel heat.

Her: Always end up arguing with the guy I'm dating over him not being further along with his divorce.
Me: Whatever (Bad response shows you are upset)
Me: What you mean date? (Better but too long)
Me: Date? (Best)
 

gettinit

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Yes, I was pissed off a bit, but didn't show it. I just said see you later to others at the same time. I had no idea that she was apparently deep in a relationship Thanks for pointing out what I should have done, but I wasn't looking to play this further. She can take my response however she wants, but "whatever" is my version of goodbye.

Maybe I was a pawn used to see if the other guy got jealous? Maybe get him to move faster in his divorce?
 
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Tilex

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Believe it or not a lot of women do this.
Unless you've already had sex with her, you shouldn't be getting jealous in the early stages of dating.

Never take a woman seriously until you've had sex with them.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Sounds like she was potentially seeing if you would be monkey branch material so she could either leave this dude or at least make him jealous so he would move faster.

Seems she is using you like a pawn in whatever game she is playing.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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You only went on two soft dates and know here a week or so.
You're not in a serious relationship with her.
It sounds like she was giving you a chance to escalate to something.
Why else would she be texting you for
Girls like to test guys like that to see if they get jealous. All of them do that.
You getting emotional over this shows you care too much.
That's where you messed up.

She went over and rubbed her tits on you!
So it gets to be too late and she comes by again, flirty and rubbing her t*ts on me. I could actually feel heat.

Her: Always end up arguing with the guy I'm dating over him not being further along with his divorce.
Me: Whatever (Bad response shows you are upset)
Me: What you mean date? (Better but too long)
Me: Date? (Best)
Are you retarded? This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. There’s a big difference between not getting jealous, and tolerating blatant disrespect. If I were to **** your girl and your mom, would you really try being like “nah I’m not jealous” and just do nothing about it?

That’s cuck mentality right there.


@gettinit the reason why she texted you and rubbed her tits on you was basically just a way of buying you out with sex. In other words, she wanted to know what she could get away with if she dangled her ***** out on a carrot stick. This stupid hoe sought to manipulate you via sex. And if you actually followed through, you would have been whipped.

Bruh **** that ****, no man should put up with that. And you should have called her ass out in front of homeboy and let him know what’s up too—no dude should be played like that either.
 
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Roober

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When dating, we know people are exploring other options. But it's not typically a topic of conversation or throw it in your face. To be so brazen about it though shows a serious lack of respect.

Low interest > next

The only value she has is "Netflix and chill"
 

gettinit

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Had I known at the time that it was what read to me as a more serious relationship, I may have had a quick conversation with the guy when she was in the ladies room and then go and sit down with some popcorn
 

lamath

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She is obviously no good.
However instead of being all piss off when she came back i would have ask her to follow.me to my place.
Nothing to lose you dont want to ne her friend you want to **** her.
Imo she is only pump and dump material
 

Black Widow Void

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Wish I could say that her behavior was isolated, but it's more common than many people realize. From my personal experience, this type of female behavior usually occurs when they feel jilted.

Although the best advice is to ignore and move on.... crap like this can get under the skin. And for those that wish to be armed with good verbal comebacks, I offer a few from the vaults.

If she's a scorned ex: (say this to her, but in the company of both of them) "Good news. The Dr. said it was only a rash."

If she's simply a gal you've dated: (as demonstrated similar to the above posting). Shake the dudes hand, look him square in the eye and say "thank you." And say nothing more.

When a pal betrays you and moves in on a gal you've been involved with: "How does my d1ck taste?"
 
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Atom Smasher

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Are you retarded? This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. There’s a big difference between not getting jealous, and tolerating blatant disrespect. If I were to **** your girl and your mom, would you really try being like “nah I’m not jealous” and just do nothing about it?

That’s cuck mentality right there.


@gettinit the reason why she texted you and rubbed her tits on you was basically just a way of buying you out with sex. In other words, she wanted to know what she could get away with if she dangled her ***** out on a carrot stick. This stupid hoe sought to manipulate you via sex. And if you actually followed through, you would have been whipped.

Bruh **** that ****, no man should put up with that. And you should have called her ass out in front of homeboy and let him know what’s up too—no dude should be played like that either.
I couldn't have said it better.

To add my own spin, this is why I'm always preaching to hold them accountable and judge their behavior, and call them out on it. Forget about this "Don't appear butt hurt" nonsense. That attitude is the attitude that perpetuates their bratty, entitled and sneaky behavior.

Call them out! When you do, you're not displaying that you are weak and hurt. Rather, you are conveying that you have standards and you have absolutely no qualms about standing by your standards and rejecting women for not meeting them.

I wish this community would let go of this "Don't let her know she got to you" attitude. This is the very oil in the machine that continues to churn out women's outrageous and immoral behavior. You don't need to appear hurt. You need to calmly and in a detached way let her know that you will not have this in your life, so "Sayonara".

Be a man of standards and rules, and watch how women start to respect you and watch how they don't dare to pull this kind of crap.
 
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Speculator E

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I couldn't have said it better.

To add my own spin, this is why I'm always preaching to hold them accountable and judge their behavior, and call them out on it. Forget about this "Don't appear butt hurt" nonsense. That attitude is the attitude that perpetuates their bratty, entitled and sneaky behavior.

Call them out! When you do, you're not displaying that you are weak and hurt. Rather, you are conveying that you have standards and you have absolutely no qualms about standing by your standards and rejecting women for not meeting them.

I wish this community would let go of this "Don't let her know she got to you" attitude. This is the very oil in the machine that continues to churn out women's outrageous and immoral behavior. You don't need to appear hurt. You need to calmly and in a detached way let her know that you will not have this in your life, so "Sayonara".

Be a man of standards and rules, and watch how women start to respect you and watch how they don't dare to pull this kind of crap.
She's not his girlfriend. She's just a girl he known for a week.
She's not emotionally invested in him yet.
He has to f#$@# her first because showing her who's the boss otherwise they don't care because another dude will take his place.
You gotta pump before you can dump.
His problem is that he got emotionally invested in a girl he doesn't know that well.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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I couldn't have said it better.

To add my own spin, this is why I'm always preaching to hold them accountable and judge their behavior, and call them out on it. Forget about this "Don't appear butt hurt" nonsense. That attitude is the attitude that perpetuates their bratty, entitled and sneaky behavior.

Call them out! When you do, you're not displaying that you are weak and hurt. Rather, you are conveying that you have standards and you have absolutely no qualms about standing by your standards and rejecting women for not meeting them.

I wish this community would let go of this "Don't let her know she got to you" attitude. This is the very oil in the machine that continues to churn out women's outrageous and immoral behavior. You don't need to appear hurt. You need to calmly and in a detached way let her know that you will not have this in your life, so "Sayonara".

Be a man of standards and rules, and watch how women start to respect you and watch how they don't dare to pull this kind of crap.
by walking or withdrawing attention you're indirectly telling her something is wrong. if she is interested she'll ask, if she's not you've saved precious time and energy. you're right there's nothing wrong with stating your terms directly, but a lot of times this falls on deaf ears. manipulative women also try to twist any direct statements back against you or play along but repeat their misbehavior at the next chance. an attempt at indirect subversion requires indirect dismissal.

a manipulative woman may say she wants to hang out but then never offers details and never accepts your offers. if you tell her directly that you don't appreciate being led on and that it seems she really doesn't want to hang out then you're playing into her hand. she will respond with frustration in your impatience and lack of understanding of her 'busy' schedule. it's much better to simply tell her to 'be in touch' as CW says or otherwise put the onus on her to prove interest by means of legwork.

being direct makes sense you have a steady gf but even then being indirect can be much more powerful.

in the case of OP i would not escalate unless she drops an obvious hint, and then only subtly.

Me: Enjoy yourself?
Her: It's hard. Are you home yet?"
Me: Yes, I am. What do you mean?
Me: Yep, unwinding for the night. (no question, dead end statement, let her make it obvious if she wants to come over)
Her: Always end up arguing with the guy I'm dating over him not being further along with his divorce.
Me: Whatever
She's talking about other dating other guys, instant turn off for me, no response. The only way she'll receive more attention is by being respectful and sweet(she doesn't need to apologize, my feelings aren't hurt, i've simply lost interest). the only way she'll get in my bed is by dropping an obvious hint that pretty much asked me if i want her to come over and fuuck my brains out. my response is a playful and non-nonchalant yes if i feel like it.

@gettinit
here's a recent text exchange that might shed give some insight. this is almost 4 months of NC after one bang with her followed by her trying to cuck me and me not engaging unless it was a direct question(indirectly communicating disinterest). for context she's constantly getting marriage proposals and has a high paying job. male attention comes to her extremely easily, she has to fight guys off with a stick. as i said she's also very smart and tries to cuck men to squeeze all utility out of them.


HER: Prize hi! how are things? have you stopped playing? (she's referring to a league i played on where i met her)
ME(2 days later): hey Jess :) things are well, vacationing in cali at the moment. yea i stopped playing because my shoulders were getting irritated by my bad form. i stick to yoga now.
HER(24 hours later): oh good for you! i tried yoga a couple times. sorry about your shoulder tho, you were getting better :) i saw potential
ME(1 hour later): ha thanks, my shoulders are already messed up from playing heavy sports for 15 years so i have to be careful. maybe when bionic arms get cheaper ;)
HER(2 days later): we should catch up sometime :)
ME(28 hours later): let's do it!
HER(20 hours later): yea, when are you back?
ME(30 min later): i got back this morning.
HER(1 min later): welcome back :D
HER(1.5 hours later): let's hang out soon.
HER(30 min later): come to the venue, we reserved a table
ME(12 hours later): i went to bed pretty early last night, sorry about that. i'm retired from that game for now heh
HER(1 hour later): ah sad to hear
HER(30 min later): so you're serious about quitting?
ME(3 hours later): yea i don't play at all anymore. we can do something else though. maybe a new sport so we can learn together and you don't beat me all the time :p
HER(2 hours later): hah how about rock climbing? i've been wanting to try.
ME(5 hours later): that's hard on my old man body too lol maybe yoga?
HER(20 min later): lol i can do yoga
ME(20 hours later): how about my living room this weekend? there's some youtube videos that kick my ass lol
HER(1.5 hours later): haha home yoga. i'll be in CA this week tho
HER(two weeks later): hey are you around? what are you doing tonight?
HER(20 min later): Prize?
ME(1 min later): hey! i'm heading out early tomorrow on a snowboarding trip so i'm crashing early heh.
HER(2 min later): ah ok
HER(3 min alter): nothing too crazy but been crazy horny so figured would text you ;P
ME(10 min later): ha! i mean you an take a lyft over here and get your fill, i won't stop you :D
HER(1 min later): how early do you leave?
ME(2 min later): getting picked up at 6am
HER(5 min later): wow early
HER(1 hour later): where do you live again?
ME(5 min later): *my address*
ME(10 min later): crashing soon. call if you're coming by otherwise i won't wake up
HER(9 min later): 20 min? will you be awake? i'll call an uber now.

i didn't see this message and she called shortly after. she came over, we banged, she spent the night, we banged again before i left. i could probably get her head over heels in love by teasing her further when she came over, but i wanted some sleep and got straight to the sex.

this women tests more than most i've talked to but look at the timestamps. multiple times she said something that didn't need a response so i didn't give one. sometimes i forgot to respond then remembered the next day and kept it playful. even an hour before coming over she was testing me to see if i'd desperately chase her. never show desperation, always come from a mindset of not caring about outcome and not being phased. if she's pleasant, you're pleasant. if she stops, you stop. if she escalates, you escalate slightly. if she pulls back again so do you. this indirect push and pull gets her worked up. even in bed if you tease a woman she will absolutely lose her mind and find so much satisfaction in the eventual sex. the sex is enjoyable for a woman but so is the build up to it. they want to feel your masculine energy the entire time. they want to try and enforce a system only to have it fail miserably in the presence of yours. they want their system to fail so badly it's crazy. that's how you get women to fall in love with you, by not trying to, by not compromising. i don't chase because there are girls that make things very easy for me, girls that i don't have to chase.

i admit i probably leave pusssy on the table by not desperately pursuing, but i prefer to keep my dignity these days, and i've learned that i enjoy teasing them just as much as i enjoy fuucking them, if not more. your goals may be different but take from this what you can.
 
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MrWood

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Fellas, take notes, the playfulness, the delays, no "hey where are you?" no "why didnt you respond", etc.
Its on HER. Its always on HER.

note: everytime she does not respond, its on HER. He does not supplicate, he leads. If she dont follow... its on HER

priceless and well played, Sir (bravo)
 

Clamslammer

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So, been chatting this girl up, went on a coffee date. Went out a week later for happy hour and kissed her when leaving. A few days later I asked to get together at a local spot we both know. It was a last minute thing and she said that she had plans but may stop by for one or two and that a new band would be playing. I replied that I was going to bounce around but might stop there. She texted me later in the night saying that she was there, but would be leaving soon. I was right around the corner from the place, so I went over there. She was sitting with a guy, obviously on a fu***ng date. Thankfully, I knew others there and hung with them. So, she comes over and whispers to me that she is leaving and will text me since she wants to hang out later. I'm thinking it's a date that she knew wasn't her first choice, but was stuck with it. We exchanged a text or two joking how the band sucked. So it gets to be too late and she comes by again, flirty and rubbing her t*ts on me. I could actually feel heat. So I simply said I was out of there.. WTF. It really pissed me off. I sent her a vauge text : Enjoy yourself?

Her: It's hard. Are you home yet?"
Me: Yes, I am. What do you mean?
Her: Always end up arguing with the guy I'm dating over him not being further along with his divorce.
Me: Whatever
Her:Yikes

I may just say f**k it and just not date anymore. Talk about a red pill moment. I don't think that she even realizes how f:ed up that was.
First off do not do last minute dates with a girl, it shows her you have no options thus she started jerking you around. She showed she has options by bringing another dude to the bar and this made you upset. Why the hell did you text her enjoy yourself, it was a useless text? If she was interested to see you she would have texted you first and you could have invited her over.

She does not sound like a LTR material just a fwb
 
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