"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Would you want to?

navyseal2101

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Does anybody else think it would be awesome to build a fort and have a bunch of your buddies over and have zombies attack it and you kill them with scissors, bats, etc. I think it would be fun, b/c who cares if you kill them, thats what they're for.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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bigappledj

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Create Reality said:
can my fort have a flag made out of toilet paper?
Shut the f*** up! This was a serious thread until you had to ruin it :mad: .
 

navyseal2101

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ahah. Toilet paper is in, don't worry. Also ghostbusters isn't exactly what i was thinking...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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seanchai

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My friend lived in a house of 5-6 ROTC guys with something like 35 guns between them, and they had a zombie contingency plan. That would be something I might be interested in.
 

theunflushables

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If you **** close the girl zombies, don't let 'em blow you. You'll leave without a c0ck.

I don't know about anyone else but my personal dream is to ride dinosaurs on the moon.
 
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Mctwist4 said:
I would kill all the guy zombies and **** close the girl zombies.
Aren't zombies the UNDEAD? So your basically screwing a dead body...Necrophilia is what YOU HAVE! I hope you have enough lube... and lets not forget how the p&ssy might fall apart like in GRINDHOUSE! EWWWW!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Mr.Positive

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Cemetery Man!!! Great movie, cult classic.

I agree, everyone must have a zombie contingency plan. :D
 

Interceptor

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Make sure you have an axe handy.
You've got to go for the head every time, man.
Look, I know what I'm talking about.
Start practicing your head chopping skills NOW because the BIG ONE is coming.
They haven't told you yet. And the media is doing everything they can to not tell you because of the widespread panic it's going to cause.
So stock up on supplies and axes. You're going to have to do a lot of head chopping soon.
Oh, and BTW make sure you get lot of creatine and protein, you need to be really powerful, you can't afford to make mistakes. One swipe is what you're looking for. Get it done, before they get to you.

Peace out.
 

Vulpine

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When you say "supplies", I assume you mean "shotgun shells".

That axe business is for close quarters, in between reloads. You know... the ol' trusty standby. I call my plan B Betsy.

Man... don't you just love the boom/squish noise when those zombie heads pop?

Oooh, and the splatter! You just don't get the same mess with the "hatchet to the dome" move as you do with the point-blank rumpshaker action.

I've got like 20 bandoliers waitin' in my closet should any zombies come around my joint gettin' frisky and talkin' that moanin' and groanin' mess.

And start writing down your cool sayings now - you don't want to be left without a quip handy for after you peel a zombie's cap back. "Yahtzee!", "Ooops." and "Shaka Khan!" are a couple of my favorites. Don't get caught screaming "Yee-Haw" or "Yeah, baby", those are just corny. However, certain expressions, like "Get Some" and "Say hello to my lil' friend", never seem to get old. Feel free to custom taylor your signature quips to reflect your gear: "B is for Betsy... *chizzop* ...and b!tches...*chiz-iz-zop* b!tches!"
 

bigjohnson

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Heart Break Kid said:
I feel dirty for laughing.
It's OK as long as you remember that we only do the girl zombies with them bent over a strong sofa or table, so they can't bite us. Details matter.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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