You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Damn, son! That must have been a pretty hard slap!Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
I would, have and do. I don't do it for the person who mistreated me, though...I do it for myself. I like to refer to this as "unpacking emotional baggage as I go". What typically happens when someone abuses or mistreats you is that you hold a grudge, allow it to impact your life in a negative way and dwell on it. It makes you miserable inside and leads you to sabotage yourself and experience unnecessary pain. It's a bit masochistic to hold onto the hurt others have caused to you. Further punishing yourself for the wrongdoings of others doesn't "punish" the person who did wrong. They go about their lives happy as a clam while you allow yourself to suffer.Originally posted by Desdinova
This topic popped up in another thread, and I think it's an interesting topic.
Would you forgive a person who has physically or sexually abused you?
If they haven't apologized, would you still forgive them?
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Do you remember why you beat his son up? If his kid didn't deserve to be beat up the father should have taken his beef to YOUR father, not you.Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
I beat his son up because he decided to spit on me while I was getting off the bus.Do you remember why you beat his son up? If his kid didn't deserve to be beat up the father should have taken his beef to YOUR father, not you.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAOriginally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Well, had you been my son I would have filed charges against the man for hitting and threatening you. Then I would have called social services and report him for child abuse. If he would hit and threaten someone else's child it's hard to image what he may have done to his own kid. Even though spitting on you was disgusting and wrong...that's the kind of behavior you can expect from a kid with a parent like his.Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
I beat his son up because he decided to spit on me while I was getting off the bus.
The reason I beat the father up is because he really scared me back then, after he slapped me he said "i'll kill you," at that age that made me **** my pants. I couldn't sleep without listening to music, that is when my OCD rituals began, I considered everything with the #3 bad (the grade his son was in), I know im crazy, but that **** ****ed me up for a while, so, I ****ed him up up:cheer: