She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Damn, son! That must have been a pretty hard slap!Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
I would, have and do. I don't do it for the person who mistreated me, though...I do it for myself. I like to refer to this as "unpacking emotional baggage as I go". What typically happens when someone abuses or mistreats you is that you hold a grudge, allow it to impact your life in a negative way and dwell on it. It makes you miserable inside and leads you to sabotage yourself and experience unnecessary pain. It's a bit masochistic to hold onto the hurt others have caused to you. Further punishing yourself for the wrongdoings of others doesn't "punish" the person who did wrong. They go about their lives happy as a clam while you allow yourself to suffer.Originally posted by Desdinova
This topic popped up in another thread, and I think it's an interesting topic.
Would you forgive a person who has physically or sexually abused you?
If they haven't apologized, would you still forgive them?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Do you remember why you beat his son up? If his kid didn't deserve to be beat up the father should have taken his beef to YOUR father, not you.Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
I beat his son up because he decided to spit on me while I was getting off the bus.Do you remember why you beat his son up? If his kid didn't deserve to be beat up the father should have taken his beef to YOUR father, not you.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAOriginally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Well, had you been my son I would have filed charges against the man for hitting and threatening you. Then I would have called social services and report him for child abuse. If he would hit and threaten someone else's child it's hard to image what he may have done to his own kid. Even though spitting on you was disgusting and wrong...that's the kind of behavior you can expect from a kid with a parent like his.Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
I beat his son up because he decided to spit on me while I was getting off the bus.
The reason I beat the father up is because he really scared me back then, after he slapped me he said "i'll kill you," at that age that made me **** my pants. I couldn't sleep without listening to music, that is when my OCD rituals began, I considered everything with the #3 bad (the grade his son was in), I know im crazy, but that **** ****ed me up for a while, so, I ****ed him up up:cheer: