"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Would you forgive?

Desdinova

Desdinova

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This topic popped up in another thread, and I think it's an interesting topic.

Would you forgive a person who has physically or sexually abused you?

If they haven't apologized, would you still forgive them?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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S

SELF-MASTERY

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no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
 
S

sky

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Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
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Damn, son! That must have been a pretty hard slap!
 
W

Wyldfire

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Originally posted by Desdinova
This topic popped up in another thread, and I think it's an interesting topic.

Would you forgive a person who has physically or sexually abused you?

If they haven't apologized, would you still forgive them?
Click to expand...
I would, have and do. I don't do it for the person who mistreated me, though...I do it for myself. I like to refer to this as "unpacking emotional baggage as I go". What typically happens when someone abuses or mistreats you is that you hold a grudge, allow it to impact your life in a negative way and dwell on it. It makes you miserable inside and leads you to sabotage yourself and experience unnecessary pain. It's a bit masochistic to hold onto the hurt others have caused to you. Further punishing yourself for the wrongdoings of others doesn't "punish" the person who did wrong. They go about their lives happy as a clam while you allow yourself to suffer.

Yes, there are many people in this world who don't deserve forgiveness, and you should never feel like you have to tell them you forgive them for what they have done to you. However...in your heart and mind, it's in your best interest to forgive...even if you never tell another person about it.

This is a philosophy I have lived by for many years and it has served me well. I'm a happier person because of it. Everything we experience in life, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn and grow as a person. Those experiences are what makes us the person we are to be. Quite often, the worst experiences teach us the most...IF we seek wisdom and growth from them.

It's not a question of whether or not a person deserves to be forgiven...it's a question of whether or not YOU deserve the peace gained from forgiving them.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Wyldfire

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Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
Click to expand...
Do you remember why you beat his son up? If his kid didn't deserve to be beat up the father should have taken his beef to YOUR father, not you.
 
S

StrangeButTrue

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I don't forget ****. You get one, two strikes at most with me, and I make sure everybody knows it, too. Unless you're one of my dearest friends, or have one HELL of an excuse for doing something ****ty to me, you're outta here.

My life is a tight ship, I don't want any stowaways.
 
S

SELF-MASTERY

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Do you remember why you beat his son up? If his kid didn't deserve to be beat up the father should have taken his beef to YOUR father, not you.
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I beat his son up because he decided to spit on me while I was getting off the bus.

The reason I beat the father up is because he really scared me back then, after he slapped me he said "i'll kill you," at that age that made me **** my pants. I couldn't sleep without listening to music, that is when my OCD rituals began, I considered everything with the #3 bad (the grade his son was in), I know im crazy, but that **** ****ed me up for a while, so, I ****ed him up up:cheer:
 
T

The Antichrist_Star

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Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
no. i would get revenge. When I was in the third grade a neighbor slapped me for beating his son up. 3 years ago I found out where he lived and beat the **** out of him; knees, elbows, fist, and his hurby curby (trash can) ON TOP OF his head. I stalked dude for a month to find out when he gets home and shi.t. I parked my car down the street, waited for him to park in his car port and charged him. Remember me!!!
Click to expand...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That's intense. :)

AS
 
J

Joe The Homophobe

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if you are sexually abused by someone you have a right to beat the ***** outta that person. You also have the right to forgive that person if you wish. Revenge unto the wicked as the Lord says.

And if any mischief follow, then though shalt give life for life,
Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,
Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.
* Bible -- Exodus 21:23-25
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Wyldfire

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Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
I beat his son up because he decided to spit on me while I was getting off the bus.

The reason I beat the father up is because he really scared me back then, after he slapped me he said "i'll kill you," at that age that made me **** my pants. I couldn't sleep without listening to music, that is when my OCD rituals began, I considered everything with the #3 bad (the grade his son was in), I know im crazy, but that **** ****ed me up for a while, so, I ****ed him up up:cheer:
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Well, had you been my son I would have filed charges against the man for hitting and threatening you. Then I would have called social services and report him for child abuse. If he would hit and threaten someone else's child it's hard to image what he may have done to his own kid. Even though spitting on you was disgusting and wrong...that's the kind of behavior you can expect from a kid with a parent like his.
 
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