"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Would you eat a fat person?

6-heads lewis

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2006
Messages
635
Reaction score
7
He will probably eat you before you even think about eating him.
This of course leads an absurd situation where neither of you can get a peaceful night of sleep, for you both fear that the other guy is planning on killing you. Even with the best of intentions, this usually leads to both people turning on each other, and the question becomes who will turn first.

At first it may start peaceful, but you might catch a small behavioural change that makes you question their intentions. If they catch you reacting oddly to this behaviour, they will fear that you are planning to kill them, when infact you are just reacting out of fear that they will kill you. Of course you fear that they caught your odd reaction, and so they are planning on killing you even sooner then planned, so you better kill them first. Perhaps it was an innocent quirk, and now they fear that you fear they are going to kill you, but they also fear that you are going to react quickly because they fear that you caught them reacting. You, knowing this, now fear that he fears that...

Reminds me of the prisoner's dilemma, where two rational players will always turn on each other, for it is the best (and really only) logical option.

The consequence of late reaction on this island is so grave (death), that there cannot be a second 'match'. The loser of the first game is killed, which makes both parties quicker to kill the other guy first.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Docs

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,571
Reaction score
56
Location
Kingston, Can-a-duh
Damn these deceiving titles. I had the anticipation some nutcase was actually asking if you'd 'eat' a fat chick.

Well, my brain is saved thus a little longer from the moron that still has to think of the idea.
 
Last edited:

Fred Da Head

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2002
Messages
959
Reaction score
4
howardalex said:
absolutely man, eat those mother ****ers with some farva beans and a nice kiante ;)
If you're going to quote from a movie, at least have the decency to spell properly.

It's some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Not sure what farva beans are, and unless you shared your meal with some dude name Kiante, I'm not sure what that meant, either.
 
Joined
Mar 18, 2006
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
37
Would you eat a fat person?
You know, I thought about this hundreds of times and have come to the conclusion that if it was a female I would do it - but I cannot eat a male - too hairy!!!!
 

Call_Me_Daddy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
1,368
Reaction score
7
Last Man Standing said:
You know, I thought about this hundreds of times and have come to the conclusion that if it was a female I would do it - but I cannot eat a male - too hairy!!!!
Eat as in to roast them over a spit.

Not eating out. Why would you think of eating out a guy? What's the matter with you?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

howardalex

Banned
Joined
Sep 4, 2006
Messages
341
Reaction score
1
Location
Russia
Fred Da Head said:
If you're going to quote from a movie, at least have the decency to spell properly.

It's some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Not sure what farva beans are, and unless you shared your meal with some dude name Kiante, I'm not sure what that meant, either.
roflmfao! are you being serious?

that's the pettiest correction I ever heard you pathetic sod!
 

OzyBoy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2004
Messages
700
Reaction score
6
Location
Sydney
no i wouldn't but since they have a lot of fat they might float well in the water and you can go out fishing. :)
 
Joined
Mar 18, 2006
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
37
Call_Me_Daddy said:
Eat as in to roast them over a spit.

Not eating out. Why would you think of eating out a guy? What's the matter with you?
I don't have to spit on someone to eat them!!!:rolleyes:

Read my response again!!
 

diplomatic_lies

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2002
Messages
4,366
Reaction score
8
Last Man Standing said:
You know, I thought about this hundreds of times and have come to the conclusion that if it was a female I would do it - but I cannot eat a male - too hairy!!!!
Um, you pluck the hairs before eating.

What do you think chickens have?
 
Top