"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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would you be pissed at this friend or not

poohead

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if you had a friend that called you up and said hey, looks like i'm not going out with this chick tonight, you wanna hang out?

then you said, well i'm supposed to hang out with this girl but i'll call you if things fall through. then things fall though and you call him back and say ok let's hang out.

but then he says, well the chick called so i'm just going to hang out with her, so i'll see you later.

is this an A$$holish thing to do?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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poohead

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he basically chose to hang out with a girl over a friend and left his buddy hanging.

i'm not blaming him about that, i still felt a bit betrayed. i'm not one to tolerate any measure of disrespect, and this is borderline.
 

spider_007

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poohead said:
then you said, well i'm supposed to hang out with this girl but i'll call you if things fall through. then things fall though and you call him back and say ok let's hang out.
you did the same thing (in a different way)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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poohead

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yes. because i am the man and i'm a cooler person to hang out with than any stupid chick.
 

DasaniWater

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you're a poohead, poohead.

Are you starting to get jelous of guys now too poopy head?
 

j8snx1

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I know there's the whole golden rule of "bro's before ho's"...but dude, you two are friends; just because you didn't hang out with him that day, it doesn't mean you suddenly become strangers the next day. Just plan something with him later on and you'll kick it with your bro. I'm sure that if you had a girl that you've been hitting it off well with lately made plans with you, I'm sure you'd choose her over him.

Don't get so caught up about it; it's a different story if a girl flaked out on you, but this is your guy friend man. Relax
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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milrenkb

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The rule is that when theres a possibility for sex, your allowed to cancel plans with friends.

By the way Desdinova probably gave you the best and most direct response to your question.
 

poohead

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i've already ex communicated him as a friend and psychologically kicked his ass and ruined social opportunities for his children for the next two generations.
 

Mission

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This is stupid, peoples plans fall through all the time, whether it be with girls or not. If you want to avoid situation say to your friend, "hey I am supposed to be going out with ___ tonight but I am unsure of plans, what are you up to?" friend responds and you say, "alright, I'll give you a shout later then, unless things are going well...really well" laugh about that, and everybody happy.

--Mission
 

2easy

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Would you not hang out with the girl if you were in his shoes?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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backbreaker

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dude, there has been times when my friends would be en route to my house to go out and wouldnt' show up becuase they made an ***** detour... what are you doing to suck it for them?

Now, I do a great job of balancing my friends with women but there are some times plans have to be canceled in the prusit of good times :)
 
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