You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
One of the best posts I've read on this forum.Atom Smasher said:The answer is a resounding "No".
Most women (especially in your age group) are mentally and emotionally incapable of resisting the emotions brought about by an orchestrated circumstance. If Mr. "Gay" (who I assure you, is not gay) orchestrates a circumstance, she will succumb as sure as I'm sitting here. All he has to do is chip away at her a little at a time, just like I do when I bag my own prey.
Never forget the mantra of the cheater: "It just happened".
Women need and crave authority from a man. They might perform a surface objection but it is better that a woman proves her loyalty to you by abiding by your boundaries than by being in a situation where she is living with another man.
Either one will vet her for who she is. If she doesn't respect your boundaries, then she should be history anyway. If she lives with this guy and something happens, of course she should be history. Which is a better scenario?
This is not a matter of petty jealousy; It is a matter of RESPECT. Fact: Women today are brought up with almost zero respect for men. Fact: Men are made to feel SHAME for setting boundaries such as this proposed living arrangement. You should not feel shame about this. If she desires to respect your wishes and abide by them, you have a real "catch" there. If not, she is not worthy of being in your life.
Do you really want to have her living with this guy, with you always wondering what she's doing? And then when you see her, intently looking at her for signs that something has happened?
Women today think they are entitled to do anything they want without consequence, and certainly without regard for a man's opinions and feelings. Is your girlfriend an exception to this? I hope so.
I would tell her how I feel about it, get her to see how she would feel if you were living with a woman, and if she respects you, great. If not, walk.
Edit: As I think about this, let me say that this is where the rubber meets the road for us men collectively. We're got to start raising our espectations, defining boundaries and parameters for our relationships, and define clear expectations. In this way a sociatal tipping point can be achieved where women learn that they either respect their men or be alone.
↑↑Atom Smasher said:The answer is a resounding "No".
Most women (especially in your age group) are mentally and emotionally incapable of resisting the emotions brought about by an orchestrated circumstance. If Mr. "Gay" (who I assure you, is not gay) orchestrates a circumstance, she will succumb as sure as I'm sitting here. All he has to do is chip away at her a little at a time, just like I do when I bag my own prey.
Never forget the mantra of the cheater: "It just happened".
Women need and crave authority from a man. They might perform a surface objection but it is better that a woman proves her loyalty to you by abiding by your boundaries than by being in a situation where she is living with another man.
Either one will vet her for who she is. If she doesn't respect your boundaries, then she should be history anyway. If she lives with this guy and something happens, of course she should be history. Which is a better scenario?
This is not a matter of petty jealousy; It is a matter of RESPECT. Fact: Women today are brought up with almost zero respect for men. Fact: Men are made to feel SHAME for setting boundaries such as this proposed living arrangement. You should not feel shame about this. If she desires to respect your wishes and abide by them, you have a real "catch" there. If not, she is not worthy of being in your life.
Do you really want to have her living with this guy, with you always wondering what she's doing? And then when you see her, intently looking at her for signs that something has happened?
Women today think they are entitled to do anything they want without consequence, and certainly without regard for a man's opinions and feelings. Is your girlfriend an exception to this? I hope so.
I would tell her how I feel about it, get her to see how she would feel if you were living with a woman, and if she respects you, great. If not, walk.
Edit: As I think about this, let me say that this is where the rubber meets the road for us men collectively. We're got to start raising our espectations, defining boundaries and parameters for our relationships, and define clear expectations. In this way a sociatal tipping point can be achieved where women learn that they either respect their men or be alone.
She doesn't party, doesn't drink, etc. So I'm usually pretty trusting because she's almost never in those situations to do something wrong.SamTheHobit said:So she's respecting you by co-inhabiting with another guy.
Good luck with this one.
The only girlfriend worth pursuing a relationship with are the the shy girls that don't party.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That would show crappy character on her behalf, so hopefully she won't. We can't all get what we want in life. Props for setting the boundary. Hope all remains well.MrNiceGuy23 said:Thanks everybody. After discussions of the situation she told me she won't live with him even if there are no other options she'll find someone else to live with. Although I agree with the posts saying she'll resent me, guess I'll see where it goes.