Would a guy get offended or hold a grudge if you and a girl were both naked and about to have sex and the girl told you NO ? Would you speak to this girl again? Or would you speak to her and still be angry in the back of your mind.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Would a guy get offended or hold a grudge
- Thread starter mocha2010
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Maximummax
Senior Don Juan
I will not talk to this girl again in my life neither try to contact again under any circumstances.
Grudge: it depends on the guy, some guys are too needy they will try to contact you again and agian
Some guys are ok, they just hit you up one more tme
Some guys who have enough girls to fick around, they won't look back.
Hope it answers your question
Grudge: it depends on the guy, some guys are too needy they will try to contact you again and agian
Some guys are ok, they just hit you up one more tme
Some guys who have enough girls to fick around, they won't look back.
Hope it answers your question
Mike32ct
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If it's a one night stand, I would chalk it up to a loss and move on. I wouldn't hold a grudge per se, but I'd delete her number.
If it's someone I'm dating, it depends what she said and how she said it.
If she politely told me she just isn't ready yet to go all the way or if she had a legitimate excuse like she's on her period, I would respect that. There would be no hard feelings. I would call her again.
But if she's naked, we fool around a lot, and she just gives me a firm no with no reason, I would move on and delete her number. She's not (that) attracted and is wasting my time. Or she's not actually single lol.
The grudge would be short lived, but I wouldn't contact her again.
If it's someone I'm dating, it depends what she said and how she said it.
If she politely told me she just isn't ready yet to go all the way or if she had a legitimate excuse like she's on her period, I would respect that. There would be no hard feelings. I would call her again.
But if she's naked, we fool around a lot, and she just gives me a firm no with no reason, I would move on and delete her number. She's not (that) attracted and is wasting my time. Or she's not actually single lol.
The grudge would be short lived, but I wouldn't contact her again.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Mike32ct
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That alcohol part probably doesn't matter either way to the guy. Obviously it's extremely common to have a buzz going when you hook up.mocha2010 said:
Did this guy just receive a flat "NO" without an explanation? That is the worst. I know alcohol was involved so diplomacy was not this girl's strong point at the time lol. But with just a no, the guy will likely take it personally. The exception is if he's a player or a Don Juan who can let it roll of his back. (But such guy would probably "next" the girl.)
Overall, even though no harm was intended, my guess is most guys wouldn't take that well. He would call his buddy the next morning, tell him the story, and be like "F*cking c*cktease" lol.
Most guys would have a hurt ego from that. At the end of the day, how do we REALLY know for sure she's attracted to us?
Is it eye contact? Nope.
Is it getting a phone number? Nope.
Is is kissing? Nope.
(These things are good, but not truly solid signs of attraction.)
We know for sure when she has s*x with us. S*x is not just physical fun for guys. It's also validation. It's "She's truly attracted to me.."
Obviously the girl could call him again and try to get together again, but this is a tough one to salvage because his ego has been bruised.
HalfAddict
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No grudge. I will not be calling her back though, she can call me.
Interesting way to phrase this like it is the mans fault. I would be glad not to have sex with a chick like that, I'd be happy she changed her mind that way I do not catch a case cause of a crazy slvt.mocha2010 said:
mustfirstregister
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In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Why would you get offended or hold a grudge? If i were you i would of just played it cool and yeah i would still talk to this girl while i talk to other girls. no reason to get emotional about it. That would show AFC attitude and that you have no other options. Keep it cool man, The smooth guy that gets the ladies never lets stuff like that get to him.mocha2010 said:
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
No, I wouldn't be angry, but probably because I could laugh it off as the test that it is. It might be your subconscious mind doing it, but saying no at the last minute is a way to test to see if the guy only wants sex.mocha2010 said:
DonJuanit0
Master Don Juan
I would just turn over and sleep no being angry about it! It has happened to me and that's what I did before! I remember we had sex first thing in the morning! 
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
exactlyDonJuanit0 said:I would just turn over and sleep no being angry about it! It has happened to me and that's what I did before! I remember we had sex first thing in the morning!
Wouldn't this or abruptly putting on clothes and leaving not convey that it affected/troubled you?DonJuanit0 said:I would just turn over and sleep no being angry about it! It has happened to me and that's what I did before! I remember we had sex first thing in the morning!
Mike 32ctMike32ct said:
I think you are being too sensitive. Obviously if the girl agreed to get naked with you in the first place she must have had some attraction to you. So its not that.
What if you find out she is later emotionally unavailable or has past sexual issues. Just don't cancel her out right away or hold a grudge. You could be missing out on a great girl.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Cool, this is the BEST answer Ive heard so far. I would date you.DonJuanit0 said:I would just turn over and sleep no being angry about it! It has happened to me and that's what I did before! I remember we had sex first thing in the morning!
women haze
Senior Don Juan
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Hey Mocha I have a question for you....mocha2010 said:
Do you expect guys to be mind readers? just curious
Do you believe that it is ok to lead on a guy and then say no without any explaination?
You being the girl who said no...would you explain why you said no to him.?
If that is the case and the excuse is valid then I would not hold a grudge..
Communication is key on both sides of the fence guys and girls.....
LOL no not mind readers but just to consider all of the factswomen haze said:
FACTS
1. She liked you enough to go out with you
2. She liked you enough to go back to your place
3. She trusted you enough to have drinks with you
So there must be something wrong either on her or your part that she is all of a sudden saying "no". Not mind reader but do not jump and cutt her off either.
*You are right about communication, because men and women definitely think alot differently, ie. venus v. mars, night v. day, step back and try to figure out whats wrong.
Maybe
1. Your tool size surprised her and she now has to reconsider (lol) ie. too big or too small
2. She has sexual issues
3. She wants to figure where the relationship is going first
4. She may have gotten caught up too fast
5. She is not ready tonight but may be ready in the morning or another day
6. You are not making her feel secure enough that you wont call her a slut in the morning or that you will ever call her back.
7. She may have seen another woman's feminine hygiene products in your bathroom when you said you were single, right beforehand.
CuriousGirl
Senior Don Juan
Well that's quite hilariously specific.mocha2010 said:
At the end of the day, women are encouraged by society to keep their knickers on, because it's both beneficial to men and women in finding and keeping a marriage-worthy partner, which we're encouraged to do.
It'll depend on the guy whether he'll hold a grudge or not, but it's not really fair to lead him on and then cut him off like that, (and in rare cases it could also put you in a very vulnerable position with the wrong kind of guy, particularly if it comes to court evidence) ...however if you want a bit of naked fun without penis-in-vagina fun then just forewarn the guy before things get heated and just stick to your guns when/if he pushes to go further than you want. That way you were fair in being clear of your intentions and so it's his own fault if he's gonna get pissy about it because you didn't lead him on into thinking he was gonna get more out of it. But you're still getting the benefit of sexually teasing him into wanting more. But then you're also sexually teasing yourself into wanting more.
DonJuanit0
Master Don Juan
About why it happened, I have asked in the past in the very same forum, why can this happen! The answer shocked me as it was so real!
The reason why it may have happened is that you made her feel like a slut!
For example, if you tell a woman to come over to your place and have sex she will propably reject you even if she likes you, cause that way she looks like a slut,
BUT
If you tell a woman, to come over to your place, to show her your new aquarium (which is stupid actually cause you both know you're gonna have sex) she's gonna come! Why?
Because in her head, she'll think, "I'm not a slut", I went for the aquarium after all! She'll be ok with it no matter stupid it actually is!
So, maybe you did that! And she had to come to THAT point (completely naked) to understand that she is being a slut!
The reason why it may have happened is that you made her feel like a slut!
For example, if you tell a woman to come over to your place and have sex she will propably reject you even if she likes you, cause that way she looks like a slut,
BUT
If you tell a woman, to come over to your place, to show her your new aquarium (which is stupid actually cause you both know you're gonna have sex) she's gonna come! Why?
Because in her head, she'll think, "I'm not a slut", I went for the aquarium after all! She'll be ok with it no matter stupid it actually is!
So, maybe you did that! And she had to come to THAT point (completely naked) to understand that she is being a slut!
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.