Wondering what to do (URGENT)

[AntoniousIV]

So I found a new girl after being a ***** with the last one, and at first it all looked good. Like she was a good one, but now there's something that's changing my opinion.

So we've went out twice, I managed to kiss her the first time (she didn't know how to kiss, I am her first) , and the on then second "date" I was rubbing her thingy between her legs in my car in a place far from the city.

That's the context, now this moment is sunday and she texts something where are you?, and sent a voice message calling my name and she said please respond I feel sick. (with many missspells). So I said

Why do you feel sick?
Is it the blue lagoon again haha?

And she said: no 3 long islands.

To be honest it bothers me that she goes out with her girl friends on a sunday to do something like this. I'm wondering what to respond to her last 3 long islands text? Just like it and ghost?
I was thinking of saying "I don't like you like this" (in the sense of her being a drunk). But we've only went out twice and I feel it's a bad idea.
Also wouldn't the dude with other plates (I have none, but I'm trying) just ignore her here and maybe even next her? Is that what I should do?


What do you think?

 

[Bible_Belt]

So I found a new girl after being a ***** with the last one, and at first it all looked good. Like she was a good one, but now there's something that's changing my opinion.

So we've went out twice, I managed to kiss her the first time (she didn't know how to kiss, I am her first) , and the on then second "date" I was rubbing her thingy between her legs in my car in a place far from the city.

That's the context, now this moment is sunday and she texts something where are you?, and sent a voice message calling my name and she said please respond I feel sick. (with many missspells). So I said

Why do you feel sick?
Is it the blue lagoon again haha?

And she said: no 3 long islands.

To be honest it bothers me that she goes out with her girl friends on a sunday to do something like this. I'm wondering what to respond to her last 3 long islands text? Just like it and ghost?
I was thinking of saying "I don't like you like this" (in the sense of her being a drunk). But we've only went out twice and I feel it's a bad idea.
Also wouldn't the dude with other plates (I have none, but I'm trying) just ignore her here and maybe even next her? Is that what I should do?


What do you think?

She was texting you when drunk, and (hopefully) not anyone else. That's a positive sign. I think she likes you. Whether or not you like her back is up to you. But don't burn any bridges. It's best to keep your judgment to yourself. Even if it is well-founded judgment, sharing it doesn't help you.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I must have missed the part where she was your girlfriend and both of you were exclusive.

Look, there’s a time and place to set boundaries, and this probably isn’t it, especially when you’ve only gone out twice. She is doing her job as a woman to keep the connection and bonding strong by keeping you updated about her day and keeping the channels of communication open; nurturing the “relationship”.

I would just text her back normally like you always do and tell her you’re going to bed when you get tired of talking to her or when the conversation has run its course.

 

[BPH]

So we've went out twice, I managed to kiss her the first time (she didn't know how to kiss, I am her first) , and the on then second "date" I was rubbing her thingy between her legs in my car in a place far from the city.

You rubbed her pu**y, or vag. I'm hoping you said "thingy" to avoid censorship, rather than because you don't know what it actually is...

Personally, I'd like to know why you stopped here. She's alone with you in your car, and that's all you did?

And she said: no 3 long islands.

To be honest it bothers me that she goes out with her girl friends on a sunday to do something like this. I'm wondering what to respond to her last 3 long islands text? Just like it and ghost?

She's drunk. Why does that bother you? She went out with her friends, and in her drunken stupor, she thought of you.

I was thinking of saying "I don't like you like this" (in the sense of her being a drunk). But we've only went out twice and I feel it's a bad idea.

Yes, that's a bad idea...you've gone on 2 dates, are (supposedly) her first kiss, and haven't had sex. Setting boundaries when you're neither exclusive nor intimate is incredibly stupid. People have free will, don't get your panties in a bunch over it.

Also wouldn't the dude with other plates (I have none, but I'm trying) just ignore her here and maybe even next her? Is that what I should do?

A dude with other plates wouldn't be making this post because he would be hanging out with another girl. Her going out drinking with friends when you've only hung out twice should not bother you this much. You need to learn that women are not pets - they have free will and autonomy.

If you want something in your life that only does what you want it to, get a dog, not a girlfriend.

 

[Sega Genesis]

To be honest it bothers me that she goes out with her girl friends on a sunday to do something like this. I'm wondering what to respond to her last 3 long islands text? Just like it and ghost?
I was thinking of saying "I don't like you like this" (in the sense of her being a drunk). But we've only went out twice and I feel it's a bad idea.
Also wouldn't the dude with other plates (I have none, but I'm trying) just ignore her here and maybe even next her? Is that what I should do?

I think it's OK to have boundaries and standards; what's not OK (my opinion) is imposing them on a woman (or man if roles are reversed) after only two dates.

Is her getting shyt-faced drunk a dealbreaker? Did it turn you off? If so, you're perfectly entitled to feel that way. People have a different tolerance for certain behaviors (drinking, smoking, drugs, promiscuity etc). Even the use of social media.

Speaking only for myself if a guy I only had two dates with called me shyt-faced drunk saying what this girl said or similar, I might be turned off as well. I have my reasons we all do.

I would NOT say anything, it's too early in. If I really liked him and everything else was good (our chemistry/energy/values) I wouid stay quiet, hope it's a one-off and continue observing. HE shouid be doing the same with ME.

If I were lukewarm, I might stop seeing him. It all depends on how important an issue it is for you and how you feel about her.

It's great she likes you but for it to work, feelings should be mutual and your boundaries and standards need to match. Fundamentally.

For now best to stay quiet and continue observing. If it turns out her getting drunk is a regular thing and it goes against your standards and boundaries, stop seeing her.

$.02

 

[AntoniousIV]

You rubbed her pu**y, or vag. I'm hoping you said "thingy" to avoid censorship, rather than because you don't know what it actually is...

Not too sure what it is, I can only speculate. It was wet.

Personally, I'd like to know why you stopped here. She's alone with you in your car, and that's all you did?

Didn't have a rubber, and don't know what else I could've done there. Maybe I should've went in mouth deep, but didn't think of that at the time. What more could/should I have done?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

"don't drink so much next time haha" is what you text back OP.

Drunk texting isn't the issue here. Whine texting is.

Another option is "do you need a pacifier? because you're being a baby"

What's next, she has a drink and calls you up whining because she stubbed her toe? Cut this sh1t off now, OP.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

And btw OP this is by no means "URGENT"

 

[BPH]

Not too sure what it is, I can only speculate. It was wet.

Didn't have a rubber, and don't know what else I could've done there. Maybe I should've went in mouth deep, but didn't think of that at the time. What more could/should I have done?

1. Have condoms in your wallet - always.
2. Legitimately go on Po*nhub.com and learn what a vag is...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Stop being so desperate that every women that gives you attention makes you consider her your girlfriend after 2 dates.

Lighten up...have fun...stop making this way more than it is at this stage.

This is most definitely NOT "URGENT" in any way, shape or form.

 

[AntoniousIV]

This is most definitely NOT "URGENT" in any way, shape or form.

I'm not tryna make her into an ltr.

I thought it was urgent for me so that I respond properly in this situation and not shoot myself in the foot like I usually do.

 

[Barrister]

Never ignore a woman who is showing you interest (assuming of course you are interested in her). No, don't respond with a wall of text to her messages but also don't be radio silent. Use the "mirroring" concept here. You always show like-interest that she is showing. By the same token, it is a balancing act to not overdo it. You have gone out twice with this woman and have not had sex with her, so you need to save a lot of your discussions for in-person. Don't get caught sending walls of text to each other. Keep it light and fun and strictly rapport building.

Also -- as others have pointed out, nothing about this situation is "urgent" in any way. You have a latent desperation to your posts that I am guessing is probably present in-person as well. Women will be able to sniff this out pretty quickly and it can be a complete mood killer. Lose that mindset and stop treating all of this like it is high-stakes. It isn't. Have fun with these women and understand it all ultimately means little.

 

[AntoniousIV]

Lose that mindset and stop treating all of this like it is high-stakes. It isn't. Have fun with these women and understand it all ultimately means little.

I think I'm pretty relaxed and not desperate irl.
I'm being an unfiltered "first thought first word" version of myself here.
Otherwise I think twice before I say something irl.

On the secone date I did do something which I wonder if it's a turn off.
So we went to a place far away in my car, and when she was on my lap I said "how do you know that I'm not a crazy axe murderer? I'm not but still?"
She didnt really say anything so I said:
"Or maybe you are one? Atleast I'll die happy."
Is this cheesy and weird? The "atleast I'll die happy" part.

I remember making many cheesy remarks like this with one very ugly and "ungrateful" girl (I was desperate back then). And I think even she found me repulsive back then, she dodged my kiss and went ghost after a week of seeing eachother.
(2 years ago)

 

[BPH]

On the secone date I did do something which I wonder if it's a turn off.
So we went to a place far away in my car, and when she was on my lap I said "how do you know that I'm not a crazy axe murderer? I'm not but still?"
She didnt really say anything so I said:
"Or maybe you are one? Atleast I'll die happy."
Is this cheesy and weird? The "atleast I'll die happy" part.

"Hey, so you wanna buy my product, right? But how do you know it's not sh*t? It isn't sh*t, but how do you KNOW it isn't?"

Why in the actual f*** are YOU providing HER with reasons to not be in the situation she is with you? You are creating doubt in her mind about the decisions she's about to make with you. It should be painfully obvious why that's a bad idea.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

"Hey, so you wanna buy my product, right? But how do you know it's not sh*t? It isn't sh*t, but how do you KNOW it isn't?"

Why in the actual f*** are YOU providing HER with reasons to not be in the situation she is with you? You are creating doubt in her mind about the decisions she's about to make with you. It should be painfully obvious why that's a bad idea.

Its like a male version of a comfort test. OP should leave those for women.

 

[AntoniousIV]

It should be painfully obvious why that's a bad idea.

Btw, how do I escalate to sex?
Im thinking to start off with rubbing then idk what to do.

The advice I've heard is, after I get her going (get her wet and rubbing her) to just pull it out? Last time when I was touching her she was on my lap facing me and rubbing her vag on my crotch (through pants). So it seems a natural escalation.

 

[BPH]

Btw, how do I escalate to sex?

You, quite literally, do not know what sex is.

My genuine advice is to watch some po*n...like, as educational material, not to get off to.

 

[AntoniousIV]

My genuine advice is to watch some po*n...like, as educational material, not to get off to.

I've watched a lot of porn.

You, quite literally, do not know what sex is.

I just wanna f#ck her. If that's a more clear question. How do I escalate to that?

Should I just pull it out after she starts rubbing her vag on my crotch? (through pants)

 

[BPH]

I've watched a lot of porn.


I just wanna f#ck her. If that's a more clear question. How do I escalate to that?

Should I just pull it out after she starts rubbing her vag on my crotch? (through pants)

Seeing as you're her first kiss, she's probably a virgin.

Since you don't know how to escalate properly, the next time you're getting hot and heavy in private, I'd probably just ask, "Do you want me to be your first?"

That'll take out the awkwardness of whether you should escalate, so you can focus on the awkwardness of probably not being able to go all the way in. It's gonna suck, and it's gonna be quick.

That said, if you watched a lot of porn, how do you not know what the "thingy between her legs" is?

 

[BeExcellent]

I've watched a lot of porn.


I just wanna f#ck her. If that's a more clear question. How do I escalate to that?

Should I just pull it out after she starts rubbing her vag on my crotch? (through pants)

Advice from the old lady:

Porn? Really guys? Porn will not teach you squat about how to be a good lover. Jesus people. Porn is created to arouse MEN and arousal does not work like that for women.

If you want a woman hot for you then you have to slow down and understand the PROCESS leading to the sex more than the act of sex itself.

And OP could use a basic lesson in female anatomy too, as he is obviously unfamiliar.

https://www.hims.com/guides/how-to-please-woman

You're welcome.

Cheers