"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Womenspeak redux. Post your translations.

5string

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More:

Make me pregnant = more child support! Cool!
Text me later = I'm busy fvcking another guy at the moment.
She's my best friend, but she's kind of a slvt = I fvcked most of the same guys she has.
My dad was abusive and left us when I was a little girl = I'm easy and will have sex with just about anybody.
You can put it in my butt = everyone else does.
I wear thongs = except when I'm at the club. Then I go commando.
I had a 3some once = I go to sex parties and the guys make me "airtight". Fun!
Are we exclusive? = I'm insecure as sh!t and am raising my anti slvt defense.
I never had a ONS = except last Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
I love my cat = I am way fvcked up because of my personality disorder.
Oh baby, those guys that text me are just my friends, don't worry = I fvcked them all and they're just comin' back for more cuz I'm easy.
My roommate and I are so close = she did me with a strap on. Oh my!

Entertainment only. Have fun. :D
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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oneboy21

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there was a thread few weeks ago about women's translations. If you could find it you can get more out of it. any way some new folks also can leave their comments here.
 

Mike32ct

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I love this thread.

"I broke up with my bf three months ago and haven't dated anybody else." = I'm still F-ing him.

"I'm not introducing you to my friends.". = You're too ugly. It would insult them.

"Don't change. Just be yourself, a nice guy." = I want you to be a virgin until you're 39. My girlfriends and I make fun of you behind your back.

"Looks aren't important. I want a guy with confidence and personality." = OMG, that guy over there is hot. I gotta go now.

"I just broke up with my boyfriend." = Your place or mine?

"Yeah we can go out Saturday night, but you have to drop me off early. I have to get up early on Sunday." = I will text another guy as soon as you drop me off.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

sexysuave

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Make me pregnant = more child support! Cool!
Text me later = I'm busy fvcking another guy at the moment.
She's my best friend, but she's kind of a slvt = I fvcked most of the same guys she has.
My dad was abusive and left us when I was a little girl = I'm easy and will have sex with just about anybody.
You can put it in my butt = everyone else does.
I wear thongs = except when I'm at the club. Then I go commando.
I had a 3some once = I go to sex parties and the guys make me "airtight". Fun!
Are we exclusive? = I'm insecure as sh!t and am raising my anti slvt defense.
I never had a ONS = except last Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
I love my cat = I am way fvcked up because of my personality disorder.
Oh baby, those guys that text me are just my friends, don't worry = I fvcked them all and they're just comin' back for more cuz I'm easy.
My roommate and I are so close = she did me with a strap on. Oh my!
:crackup:
 

oneboy21

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I don't know = I know but i don't want to tell you.
Facebook message is status "hfsdhfdjshfas;fheowhfohfadsv" = I am a garbage chic just looking for attention, really don't know what to write here.
 

Strelok

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We have to talk= you have to listen

Good=I finally got what I wanted

You should show some respect= you should do what I said

You are cold= you dont treat me anymore as a princess no matter what

Shes a b1tch= she get more attention from guys than I do

He is an azzhole= he doesnt take any sh1t and that turn me on

He is very nice= he is an afc

He is a loser= he is an afc but yet isnt gonna take it

Yes= maybe
Maybe=no
No= ... (it depends on her mood)

Lets just be friends= I find u unattractive and chump enough to get away with this bvllsh1t

I like to travel= I like to do the same parties I do here but in different places

Im adventurous = sometimes I eat at indian restaurant and do things that Im not accountable for if something goes wrong

Im a woman with balls= Im simply a girl who found a way to behave as a man except the responsibility that comes from my action

No way im gonna do anal (out of nowhere)= I want you to ask me to do anal

Those things are disrespectul toward women= Im not gonna give you head or swallow because you are not attractive to me but I would with that guy

You should stop treating me as a baby= however that turns me on

Those guys behave like cavemen= wish other men did the same

I'm a succesfull woman= I manage to pay the rent and my bills
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Bible_Belt

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"I'm a feminist." = 'You have to kill the bugs, take out the trash, and make more money than me, because you're the man.'
 

5string

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Bible_Belt said:
"I'm a feminist." = 'You have to kill the bugs, take out the trash, and make more money than me, because you're the man.'
Ain't that the fvckin truth!
 

PDubb75

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Mike32ct said:
"I don't know who the father is." = There was a train of five guys doing me. Hopefully, the father will be the one that looks most like my boyfriend.

HAHAHAHA
 

Rogue

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Strelok said:
Yes= maybe
Maybe=no
No= ... (it depends on her mood)
No is maybe, maybe is yes, yes then she's no lady.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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