Womens Past

[Sega Genesis]

Over 2 years before we met, and she didnt tell but I found out which made her cry etc

^^How did you find out? And how did you confront her about it such that it made her cry?

In any event, you can't unring this bell so may be best to go separate ways.

I will say people do make mistakes especially when very young (HS), poor decision-making, lack of boundaries etc, that they may regret and learn from. But again since this apparently troubles you so much, best to call this a day and move on.

It's your call no one else's.

Sorry man...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Lesson 1: Do not give women relationships they don't qualify for.

This women is recreational use only. Don't be an idiot and fall in love with her and make her an LTR only to get run-over 2 years later when, lo and behold, she acts in accordance to who she is.

 

[The Duke]

How long does this girls relationships typically last? That will tell you a lot.

 

[Dash Riprock]

How much should a womans past affect you? If you are dating one person. For example the girl im seeing admitted to me that she had a threesome with 2 men when she was high on coke and drunk. She claims it wasnt entirely consensual as she wasnt in her senses but I feel like thats what all women say to write off past mistakes. Thoughts?

So she was doing coke, drunk, and had a threesome...but it wasn't consensual. Right. SMH, female "logic" baffles me. Did someone have an AK-47 aimed at her head forcing her to drink and do coke and have the threesome? Highly unlikely. It was consensual because being high or drunk isn't an excuse. SHE decided to drink and do drugs, so she's responsible for her choices. That's a big flag right there.

And then she tells you about it...like winning some sort of prize.

If she's hot, I would see her in a FWB way only. And I have "dated" plenty of women like this. One overtly told me about a threesome and one said she did a mainstream porn. Another one on a second date told me she took it up the a$$ on Valentine's Day from her ex-boyfriend as her present. You can't make this s*it up. Whatever. I had my fun and bailed.

You should likely consider doing the same.

 

[Gamisch]

Crazy how we a man can be humiliated by a woman he haven't even met yet while she did something while again, she had no idea who he was.

And thats the key!!! A woman MUST know that by giving in to impulsive behavior like this, she's sabotaging her own future. The cok3, the rum and the two d1cks were probably great and xtc like, but it would also cut out tons of proper male prospects.

In some cultures where marriage is mandatory, she would be an outcast by doing this. I been in a similar situation, and even tho its years ago I still feel the bad taste in my mouth when I just think about it.

Eject and move on. Because I ALSO got to learn that there are women who actually care about their reputation.

 

[Bingo-Player]

People can change for the better if in a positive / healthy relationship

I calmed down a lot when I got in my first LTR.

in terms of does a woman's past bother me I think it depends if it marries up or clashes with how she's trying to present herself to me in the present

I mean I met a girl in the Gym last week on the surface she was presenting a very sweet and bubbly gym bunny persona

I did some digging and found she has a few insta pages of her frequently going to raves / expensive holidays

Sharing lot of reels of FemCel / Feminism stuff

I don't know this girl well at all but it was enough for me to realise the persona that was being presented in person was very very different to the one that was living online

 

[Cartopis84]

Saw texts... didnt rlly confront asked her abt it and she cried for a whole day lol made me feel kinda bad. And she still constantly asks me multiple times a day if it has changed my opinion of her and makes me want to not be with her etc while basically crying. Its only been a few days but its hard to stop picturing it. She has also become extra clingy since then and is like love bombing me which is stressing me out Things were fine before this.

^^How did you find out? And how did you confront her about it such that it made her cry?

In any event, you can't unring this bell so may be best to go separate ways.

I will say people do make mistakes especially when very young (HS), poor decision-making, lack of boundaries etc, that they may regret and learn from. But again since this apparently troubles you so much, best to call this a day and move on.

It's your call no one else's.

Sorry man...

a

 

[BaronOfHair]

For example the girl im seeing admitted to me that she had a threesome with 2 men when she was high on coke and drunk

Wife this chick up today... Such a union is destined for greatness, comparable to Hayden Christensen's post-Star Wars career

 

[Divorced w 3]

Saw texts... didnt rlly confront asked her abt it and she cried for a whole day lol made me feel kinda bad. And she still constantly asks me multiple times a day if it has changed my opinion of her and makes me want to not be with her etc while basically crying. Its only been a few days but its hard to stop picturing it. She has also become extra clingy since then and is like love bombing me which is stressing me out Things were fine before this.

a

So to be clear- you read through her phone? And why are you ‘lol’ that she cried an entire day about it?

 

[Doctor Europeo]

made me feel kinda bad. And she still constantly asks me multiple times a day if it has changed my opinion of her and makes me want to not be with her etc while basically crying. She has also become extra clingy since then and is like love bombing me

Sounds like manipulative behavior.

Its only been a few days but its hard to stop picturing it.

Sometimes something either bothers you or it doesnt, sometimes there is no middle ground. If it bothers you so much, she might not even be worth it as a plate. Might as well cut your losses and be better off spending that time and mental energy on fishing for new prospects.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Sounds like manipulative behavior.

Or, dude went through her phone and she legitimately feels bad that she made an immature mistake?

Notice that he’s dodging all of us on answering the question on how he acquired the texts. She obviously didn’t offer it up.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Or, dude went through her phone and she legitimately feels bad that she made an immature mistake?

Notice that he’s dodging all of us on answering the question on how he acquired the texts. She obviously didn’t offer it up.

In general I dont approve of going through other people´s phones. But if he found out something about her past that legit bothers him, maybe its a good thing he did. Better he found out sooner rather than later.

She legit feels bad about an immature mistake? Good for her, but if its a dealbreaker for him, her guilt is probably irrelevant.


This is what I personally consider is important:

- She had a threesome in her past
- He found out
- He cant stop picturing it (because Im assuming its a dealbreaker for him, but only he can establish that).

Everything else seems secondary to me. We might not approve how he found out, but thats feels secondary to me. She feels bad about an immature past mistake, good for her but also feels secondary to me.

It either is or isnt a dealbreaker for him. If it turns out that it is in fact a dealbreaker for him, most discussion is not only secondary but also irrelevant to a degree, except from whatever lesson or lessons we as members can take away from it.

 

[Prepostereax]

Again, you don't let it affect you

ie if your standards are that hoes are best kept for recreational purposes at best, and not for long-term usage

Then you don't make any exceptions in this situation, no matter how contrite she may seem

.. if your standards are Capt-Save-A-Hoe, then put a ring on it

 

[Sega Genesis]

I agree he should break up with her as it's clear he doesn't trust her or he wouldn't have snooped her phone in the first place.

Also, even now after she told him it was non-consensual due to being drunk at a party, he doesn't believe her.

So yeah there is zero trust there regardless of whatever she did as a teenager in HS after having too much to drink.

What I don't understand is categorizing her as a hoe, a 304 or whatever other derogatory names.

I could understand if this was a pattern of behavior as an adult. But a one-time lack of judgment after too much to drink in HS which was not even fully consensual for which she regrets and hopefully learned from?

That justifies deeming her a "hoe"?

What am I missing?

 

[Divorced w 3]

In general I dont approve of going through other people´s phones. But if he found out something about her past that legit bothers him, maybe its a good thing he did. Better he found out sooner rather than later.

She legit feels bad about an immature mistake? Good for her, but if its a dealbreaker for him, her guilt is probably irrelevant.


This is what I personally consider is important:

- She had a threesome in her past
- He found out
- He cant stop picturing it (because Im assuming its a dealbreaker for him, but only he can establish that).

Everything else seems secondary to me. We might not approve how he found out, but thats feels secondary to me. She feels bad about an immature past mistake, good for her but also feels secondary to me.

It either is or isnt a dealbreaker for him. If it turns out that it is in fact a dealbreaker for him, most discussion is not only secondary but also irrelevant to a degree, except from whatever lesson or lessons we as members can take away from it.

I think what’s really at question is why did he go snoop. He says that everything was fine before this. Is he just a paranoid person who snoops?

Like I said originally - she’s a mirror of his value system. She’s the type of girl who let two guys run the Eiffel Tower on her when she was younger at a party. I don’t care how bombed you got, that’s something that’s either wired in you or not. Hey, no judgement on her from me, but he was falling for this woman and he undoubtedly caught some non-verbal cues that got his paranoia brewing pretty hard.

In other words - they’re both busted inside at a certain level.

Edit. I personally would embrace her open sexuality and do everything I could convince her to do. If he had some creativity he would get one of her girlfriends in there at the same time. Come on buddy. Report back.

 

[plumber]

Edit. I personally would embrace her open sexuality and do everything I could convince her to do. If he had some creativity he would get one of her girlfriends in there at the same time. Come on buddy. Report back.

two guys with booze and coke then telling its not consensual is very different open sexuality. being in that position is a no brainer for the result but it doesn't mean she wanted that result. being in that situation and then keeping a record that can be found or talking about it to him is lack of good judgment in a big way.

 

[Divorced w 3]

two guys with booze and coke then telling its not consensual is very different open sexuality. being in that position is a no brainer for the result but it doesn't mean she wanted that result. being in that situation and then keeping a record that can be found or talking about it to him is lack of good judgment in a big way.

So you’re telling me that she had a private phone conversation and he snooped it, and it’s her fault?

 

[plumber]

So you’re telling me that she had a private phone conversation and he snooped it, and it’s her fault?

fault is not the context i had in mind. she has a lack of judgment. one, she allowed something to happen by being in a well known situation. we don't know why she was there, perhaps she was kidnapped.... or more likely enjoying the attention. she also kept this explosive content in an easy to find place such as her phone. if its on her phone as you say, then is it a photo of the acts or messages where she is talking to those guys about it.... apparently she did not file a crime.

so fault... she did not commit a crime from what we know. only really bad judgment.

9 out of 10 chances that if he did snoop to get it its good info for him and will possibly save him much grief later.

usually snooping is the result of not trusting. not trusting is the result of real world situations and vibe. so as your pointing out if he needed to snoop then things are not fine already. nobody snoops on someone they trust. and in this case its confirmed. case closed.

 

[The Duke]

Crazy how we a man can be humiliated by a woman he haven't even met yet while she did something while again, she had no idea who he was.

And thats the key!!! A woman MUST know that by giving in to impulsive behavior like this, she's sabotaging her own future. The cok3, the rum and the two d1cks were probably great and xtc like, but it would also cut out tons of proper male prospects.

In some cultures where marriage is mandatory, she would be an outcast by doing this. I been in a similar situation, and even tho its years ago I still feel the bad taste in my mouth when I just think about it.

Eject and move on. Because I ALSO got to learn that there are women who actually care about their reputation.

You are right, a woman must/should know......but they lack perspective and accountability. It's up to us to decide if they meet our standard for long term commitment. And that's the beauty of all of this . In the end , MEN have the final say. They get to choose the man, but us MEN get to decide what kind of relationship transpires. One and done, 3 month try out, it's good but not great, or maybe long-term and let's see.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I agree he should break up with her as it's clear he doesn't trust her or he wouldn't have snooped her phone in the first place.

Also, even now after she told him it was non-consensual due to being drunk at a party, he doesn't believe her.

My gut is telling me it was consensual. She has buyers remorse and pulled the "not entirely consensual" card.

I could be wrong. But It would be a disservice to our original póster to "pull my punches".

What I don't understand is categorizing her as a hoe, a 304 or whatever other derogatory names.

I could understand if this was a pattern of behavior as an adult. But a one-time lack of judgment after too much to drink in HS which was not even fully consensual for which she regrets and hopefully learned from?

That justifies deeming her a "hoe"?

What am I missing?

A one time may be one too many for our original póster. And its one that we know of, because she got caught.

Now, Im gonna try to answer your questions regarding labeling her a 304, but obviously I can only speak for myself. There is obviously a continuum here, with many things in between a virgin girl and a 304. But for the sake of, or rather the simplicity of disscussion: Every girl who is not wife material is a 304. If I say she is a 304, I dont neccessarily mean anything in particular, except that she is not wife material imho.