Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Women worth your while always drop the handkerchief.

BillyPilgrim

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There's always bath salts..
 

thelambofdeth

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Look for girls that are interested in what your looking for. How many guys they've slept with up to that point is completely irrelevant to that fact. As I've picked up and slept with multiple virgins from clubs. One of which I discussed here.
But you can't just look and decipher that. A girl could be dressed like a total slot machine and be the biggest prude/tease ever and vice versa. Good for you mate on finding litetal virgins at a club but one has a better chance of getting stuck by lightning. Point is, you don't what what their interested unless you approach...and that's a major issue is you have approach anxiety.

Correct. It's a numbers game after all. You only get better at predicting, the more experience you get. I e. Less approaching. Just like a batter tries to predict what a pitcher will throw at him. Or a racing driver tries to predict which way or what his opponent will do.
Sure...if you're a Chad or you have high confidence. You have to get goodwill from women to continue the "practicing" which again, is an issue with AA.

Does nothing for lowering your inhibitions? Well then you'd fall under the outlier category for that. As that's known as the popular method (because it works) of lowering inhibitions. I'd tell you to try benzos, but I have no experience with them so I can't recommend them.
I have to get completey plastered drunk for alcohol to make me social to the point I'm blacked out drunk which at that point its totally moot. Benzos are fecking horrible and I'm not going down that rabbit hole lol.
 

Velasco

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Atom Smasher

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I haven’t read this entire thread even though I started it, but let me say this about you guys who say you get zero IOIs.

I’ve observed over the years that most men reach way beyond their grasp. You append that statement about zero IOIs with “from girls I’m attracted to”. You’re looking for IOIs from women who are way out of your league. I’ve been there most of my life myself. We men walk around imagining that even in our underdeveloped state, gorgeous and relatively well-adjusted women will want us. I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re not ready for these women, and they’re not attracted to you. That’s right… the women you’re attracted to are not attracted to you because they can smell your desperation and awkwardness.

What I did to fix this problem was to lower my sights just a hair down to women who were not as perfect as my imagination thought I deserved, and started realizing there were plenty of fairly pretty girls who were attracted to me. Once I settled on fairly pretty, I became more confident, worked on myself, and naturally flowed into the higher echelon of women.

I repeat… most men fantasize that they deserve women who are simply out of their league. You’re looking for attention from the upper tier, and you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with them. Because of this, you are completely blind to the IOIs that are there from your value-peers.

Walk before you run. If you would take a step out of fantasy-land and look around you, you would see plenty of interest from women that you automatically reject. You are automatically rejecting them just the same way your perfect specimens of womanhood are automatically rejecting you.

Take your expectations down a few notches and practice success with less than ideal (but still pretty and respectful) women. If you apply the knowledge within these pages while obtaining successes with the women of your league, you will outgrow them as more and more upper-tier women start to notice you.

I’m ready now to be entertained by the flames of the excuse-makers and know-it-alls who will surely rise up with their torches to set me, their benevolent advisor, ablaze.

In all seriousness, though, at least entertain the possibility that your standards are higher than you’re ready to attain. Look around you and just have friendly conversations with normal women. Your eyes will start to open to IOIs from better and better women as you gain experience.

Years ago, I was willing to bring my physical standards down in order to find a woman of character (because I value character over looks), but lo and behold, I came a cross a woman of true character who was also a natural beauty. She radiates that natural feminine “prettiness” that we value so highly. I married her last year. She is the kind of woman I would always fantasize about years ago when I was completely invisible to women like her.

I had refined myself for a few years by relating with more average, yet still pretty women, and almost unknowingly graduated to the big leagues.

I’m rambling too much here which I tend to do when I post from my phone. I’ll put on the brakes, but guys, look to see if there is a grain of truth in what I’m saying. You may not like the way I’m saying it, but at least consider my main points.
 

thelambofdeth

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Obligatory strawman. Not all of us have unwarranted, fantastical standards. I have AA and low self esteem bc a long af drought...I don't even look at anything beyond a 7 and honestly my taste at this point is kinda frumpy. I dont even way some Stacy or objectively beautiful women...i'm more driven by things like her style, her personality, her attitude, as I like weird alt girls....(wow imagine that)There are dudes with delusional standards, sure, but this issue is so do many women. Even the average and basic ones.

Many of them think they're +2 what they are and would rather wait until some bored Chad pumps them before giving a shot to a guy in their league. That's the major component many don't acknowledge or even address.
 
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Atom Smasher

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There’s something about you that you haven’t yet been able to identify which is turning them off, or at best causing them to feel neutral towards you.
You seem to come off as a bit dour or negative here on the forum. I’m wondering if you are projecting a light, fun vibe to women, or more of a negative one.
Do you come across as having an attitude of being “above” them in value? If not, you need to start. While we men tend to think this kind of attitude will turn women off, just the opposite is true. The trouble is that we’re afraid to risk each “opportunity”, so we play it safe by being “safe” and “nice”.

I try to admonish men to be aloof and self-sustaining socially; To treat each social interaction as light, fun and self-amusing. Negative Nellies never do well with women. Women are looking for fun, light interactions with men who convey superiority.
 

Bigpapa

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what men in general fail to understand is that timing is also something extremely important .

if a woman is not into meeting a new guy for whatever reason ( being in loved , went through a breakup , on her period , depressed , etc ) , you can be the best guy she will ever meet and still nothing will happen most likely

it is like when for example you are the best medic and can treat any disease . Most people will not come to you because they are not sick so they do not need you

same thing with a job , the likely hood of being invited to an interview is far higher when applying to job post , rather than when you are sending an unsolicited cv to them . No matter how amazing you are in whatever you do

What is important is to be the best version of yourself that you can be , and also learn to emulate people that are good in a particular field . In this case you should try to emulate more of what a guy that is good with girls does . Most likely a bing chunk of that is knowing where to go ( which is the biggest skill a guy into pick up has )
 
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thelambofdeth

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There’s something about you that you haven’t yet been able to identify which is turning them off, or at best causing them to feel neutral towards you.
You seem to come off as a bit dour or negative here on the forum. I’m wondering if you are projecting a light, fun vibe to women, or more of a negative one.
Do you come across as having an attitude of being “above” them in value? If not, you need to start. While we men tend to think this kind of attitude will turn women off, just the opposite is true. The trouble is that we’re afraid to risk each “opportunity”, so we play it safe by being “safe” and “nice”.

I try to admonish men to be aloof and self-sustaining socially; To treat each social interaction as light, fun and self-amusing. Negative Nellies never do well with women. Women are looking for fun, light interactions with men who convey superiority.
So I've had friends and people by proxy flat out tell me I come off as aloof to the point of it being a detriment. To the point of seeming haughty or dismissive or that I don't like them. I guess bc of my distant dismeanor and bc of my AA. Instead of seeming passive or weird bc of my height , the way I dress and the way I carry myself I give off the vibe that I'm disinterested or superior.

Now, if you're some guy who can pull of being like playfully dismissive or coyly aloof or something i can see how girls could like that. But it depends on two factors. First I has to be on women in your social circle. Random women at the bar aren't going to notice me not noticing them. They're not going to care that some rando isn't giving them attention. It has to be in proximity women you've at least met before, as those are the times being aloof has paid off for me, anyway. When a chick you're familiar with is used to getting tons of validation for every dude and you don't, it piques her interest.

And the other is you have to be good-looking. I'm a tall, stoic black dude...looking disinterested just makes me look mean af and I already have a rbf. Women aren't to care or notice some guy where there is seeming an extra barrier to break unless he has the look.

Anyway, I don't ar all convey a light, or fun vibe. I don't look depressed or anything but apparently just really disinterested and haughty. But with no lighthearted or playfulness juxtaposed with that. And that's not an act, I think it's just a by product of my social anxiety being perceived a certain way. But acting "superior" hasn't really helped much with.
 

Bigpapa

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So I've had friends and people by proxy flat out tell me I come off as aloof to the point of it being a detriment. To the point of seeming haughty or dismissive or that I don't like them. I guess bc of my distant dismeanor and bc of my AA. Instead of seeming passive or weird bc of my height , the way I dress and the way I carry myself I give off the vibe that I'm disinterested or superior.

Now, if you're some guy who can pull of being like playfully dismissive or coyly aloof or something i can see how girls could like that. But it depends on two factors. First I has to be on women in your social circle. Random women at the bar aren't going to notice me not noticing them. They're not going to care that some rando isn't giving them attention. It has to be in proximity women you've at least met before, as those are the times being aloof has paid off for me, anyway. When a chick you're familiar with is used to getting tons of validation for every dude and you don't, it piques her interest.

And the other is you have to be good-looking. I'm a tall, stoic black dude...looking disinterested just makes me look mean af and I already have a rbf. Women aren't to care or notice some guy where there is seeming an extra barrier to break unless he has the look.

Anyway, I don't ar all convey a light, or fun vibe. I don't look depressed or anything but apparently just really disinterested and haughty. But with no lighthearted or playfulness juxtaposed with that. And that's not an act, I think it's just a by product of my social anxiety being perceived a certain way. But acting "superior" hasn't really helped much with.
higher smv guys have to be friendlier to look more attainable

being aloof instead of friendly etc only works when you try to pick up a girl who is around your smv or higher
 

Atom Smasher

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So I've had friends and people by proxy flat out tell me I come off as aloof to the point of it being a detriment. To the point of seeming haughty or dismissive or that I don't like them. I guess bc of my distant dismeanor and bc of my AA. Instead of seeming passive or weird bc of my height , the way I dress and the way I carry myself I give off the vibe that I'm disinterested or superior.

Now, if you're some guy who can pull of being like playfully dismissive or coyly aloof or something i can see how girls could like that. But it depends on two factors. First I has to be on women in your social circle. Random women at the bar aren't going to notice me not noticing them. They're not going to care that some rando isn't giving them attention. It has to be in proximity women you've at least met before, as those are the times being aloof has paid off for me, anyway. When a chick you're familiar with is used to getting tons of validation for every dude and you don't, it piques her interest.

And the other is you have to be good-looking. I'm a tall, stoic black dude...looking disinterested just makes me look mean af and I already have a rbf. Women aren't to care or notice some guy where there is seeming an extra barrier to break unless he has the look.

Anyway, I don't ar all convey a light, or fun vibe. I don't look depressed or anything but apparently just really disinterested and haughty. But with no lighthearted or playfulness juxtaposed with that. And that's not an act, I think it's just a by product of my social anxiety being perceived a certain way. But acting "superior" hasn't really helped much with.
So you’re out of balance then.
The solution is to start to work on lightening up. Start with your daily small-talk with both men and women. People probably tighten up into a defensive stance when you’re around them because of how you project. Daily friendly small-talk is a man’s ticket out of that dynamic. Just a little each day will work wonders.
 

SW15

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what men in general fail to understand is that timing is also something extremely important .

if a woman is not into meeting a new guy for whatever reason ( being in loved , went through a breakup , on her period , depressed , etc ) , you can be the best guy she will ever meet and still nothing will happen most likely

it is like when for example you are the best medic and can treat any disease . Most people will not come to you because they are not sick so they do not need you

same thing with a job , the likely hood of being invited to an interview is far higher when applying to job post , rather than when you are sending an unsolicited cv to them . No matter how amazing you are in whatever you do

What is important is to be the best version of yourself that you can be , and also learn to emulate people that are good in a particular field . In this case you should try to emulate more of what a guy that is good with girls does . Most likely a bing chunk of that is knowing where to go ( which is the biggest skill a guy into pick up has )
The number 1 reason that the timing doesn't work out is that the woman has a boyfriend or husband and is not looking to add to her penis pipeline. Even women with boyfriends and husbands have orbiters/backup plans for sex/relationships in a lot of cases. Most people are in a relationship at any given point in time.

Being the best version of yourself is always good advice.
 

thelambofdeth

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higher smv guys have to be friendlier to look more attainable

being aloof instead of friendly etc only works when you try to pick up a girl who is around your smv or higher
I totally agree...but I'm not high smv lol. Yeah if you're some Henry Cavil look alike and aloof women are just going to refrain bc they'd think you're out of their league but I don't have that issue.
 

Bigpapa

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I totally agree...but I'm not high smv lol. Yeah if you're some Henry Cavil look alike and aloof women are just going to refrain bc they'd think you're out of their league but I don't have that issue.
you said that you are quite tall and have expensive clothes and not that social . I guess that you are doing quite well in life

it is not about if you consider yourself high smv , it is how you are perceived :)
 

thelambofdeth

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you said that you are quite tall and have expensive clothes and not that social . I guess that you are doing quite well in life

it is not about if you consider yourself high smv , it is how you are perceived :)
I can't argue with that...my perception is probably skewed af.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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This succinctly illustrates why some men have a killer success ratio. Why struggle with random cold approaches when the ground is full of handkerchiefs?

Matt husey? made a video ages ago calling out women. He argued they used to shoot their shot doing what you said. Modern women are brain damaged and so checked out and glued to the phone, they don't unless you are aesthetic crew. I get choosing signals and IOIs but it's not like 2010 or before.

To answer your Q, "why cold approach? " my d won't ck itself. I enjoy the approach invitations and Choosing signals but I love the game and getting girls. I get amped approaching.

I will go even further. I'm so amped about getting girls, I will pull, beat it rotten, &&& go approach more girls between the walk from her bedroom to my car.

I don't disagree with you on the ratio. world class pua has 10% success ratio but wtf is the alternative ? OLD? Just wait? try being pretty like Gen Z &&& just wait???

I get a hard on for approaching. I love the chase. busting nuts is for sport. I'm not looking to play house. I'm not a house husband. I don't pod about hypergamy &&& no receipts.

If mods wouldn't ban me, I'd charge up my troll cannon, &&& my avi would be receipts. Some hilarious pic pulling some baddie. flex so hard I'd wreck my nice shirt lulz!

^^^ would separate the men from the boys.



Trolling as a hobby. Stealing 2nd after 2nd just cause I know I can.
 

Velasco

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I think it's just a by product of my social anxiety being perceived a certain way. But acting "superior" hasn't really helped much with
@thelambofdeth

Take a look at this post I made a couple years ago (read especially the part where I'm talking about the user SexNotValidation), to go along with the previous post I linked to you on 'momentum':

 
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