"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Women sue dating service for getting loser dates!

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mrRuckus

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Attractive: says your girl friends, but you sound old so no
Successful: who cares
Mother of 3: yeah cvs employees will say no; younger chicks are puttin out thanks to feminism
Busy: aka pain in the ass to coordinate with

Dating sites aren't miracle workers
 

Zarky

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Well if I dropped a grand on a dating service and it didn't come through you bet your sweet ass I'd sue 'em too. What was most interesting to me about the story is that most of the men don't pay for the service. Which tells me that it's mostly successful, white-collar women who are doing that sh*t.

And I would bet my bottom dollar that those women are all middle-aged, hyper-masculine, ball-busting shrews who are about as sexy and fun as Hillary Clinton.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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Several women wrote to complain about their dates. One said she was set up with a married guy, another with a widower who could not stop crying. Still another said she’d dined with a self-proclaimed mobster and then a man who claimed that he had traveled the world — which, in this case, meant he had visited Oklahoma.
lol, seriously?

Sifting through the e-mail, the Haggler was struck that not one man had written in. That seemed mysterious until a former It’s Just Lunch customer said that she’d asked a date “How long have you been a member?” To which he replied: “Oh, I don’t pay. Most guys don’t.They just call me when they need me to meet someone.”
This has got to be a joke.
 
J

jimmyjjohn

Guest
I'm tired of being poor and not having heroin, and my boyfriend isn't much of a boyfriend. Now that I'm actually kind of pretty a lot of the time, I should be able to get a sugardaddy, right? How do I find one?

I could like make a craigslist posting, but how can I get away with asking for money? That's like prostitution, and it's illegal where I live. Really not wanting to get arrested. Advice? Where to Find a Sugar Daddy :box:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Peaks&Valleys

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jimmyjjohn said:
I'm tired of being poor and not having heroin, and my boyfriend isn't much of a boyfriend. Now that I'm actually kind of pretty a lot of the time, I should be able to get a sugardaddy, right? How do I find one?

I could like make a craigslist posting, but how can I get away with asking for money? That's like prostitution, and it's illegal where I live. Really not wanting to get arrested. Advice? Where to Find a Sugar Daddy :box:
You could stick a dildo up your a$$ on a web cam. That's still legal.
 

Zarky

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jimmyjjohn said:
I'm tired of being poor and not having heroin, and my boyfriend isn't much of a boyfriend. Now that I'm actually kind of pretty a lot of the time, I should be able to get a sugardaddy, right? How do I find one?

I could like make a craigslist posting, but how can I get away with asking for money? That's like prostitution, and it's illegal where I live. Really not wanting to get arrested. Advice? Where to Find a Sugar Daddy :box:
Ironically better than most posts by the regulars here.
 
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