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Women can't love men, they can only respect

Chuck Taylor

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It is often said that women can not love a man, they can only respect him. I never understood what that meant until recently. I am involved with this girl and she is in limerance. She states " i want to be like you".
how old is this girl? a girl's never told me that she wants to be like me.
 

logicallefty

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Women can love a man, but they must respect him first. To do that, she must find him attractive. The woman thinking that there aren't any better options out there for her is also a critical part of holding things together. In a nutshell, What happens is she finds him attractive at first. They get married or whatever. Then he thinks "She is mine now, so I will relax all of those things i used to do that she originally found attractive, because they were a lot of work". She looses attraction thus looses respect and thus starts to think there ARE better options. So then she gets the desire to explore her options. By the mid 30s she knows the clock is ticking, so she either cheats on him and/or leaves him. Everything is gone by this point for her with him; the respect, the attraction, and the love.
 

Pandora

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Women can love a man, but they must respect him first. To do that, she must find him attractive. The woman thinking that there aren't any better options out there for her is also a critical part of holding things together. In a nutshell, What happens is she finds him attractive at first. They get married or whatever. Then he thinks "She is mine now, so I will relax all of those things i used to do that she originally found attractive, because they were a lot of work". She looses attraction thus looses respect and thus starts to think there ARE better options. So then she gets the desire to explore her options. By the mid 30s she knows the clock is ticking, so she either cheats on him and/or leaves him. Everything is gone by this point for her with him; the respect, the attraction, and the love.
Yes brother I think this is exactly right. Its difficult to be superman for 30yrs ( or the life span of a marriage). You will crack. Its only natural.
 

Zimbabwe

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Women love conditionally while men love unconditionally. It is just the way it works.
If your wife got Fat while hot women were hitting on you, would you stay loyal?

The real problem is that women have unlimited options and no consequences for their actions because of Simps/white knights.
 

Pandora

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If your wife got Fat while hot women were hitting on you, would you stay loyal?

The real problem is that women have unlimited options and no consequences for their actions because of Simps/white knights.
Staying loyal and not loving are different things. Men can be disloyal sexually but loyal where it matters ( resources etc). So yes if my wife got super fat I would definately cheat. I would still love my wife and provide for her and the family despite my cheating.

If my wife loses respects for me she will stop "loving" me. She will then leave me and take half my stuff including the kids.

So it is not an equal comparison. Men can be sexually disloyal but still provide for the family. A women will destroy the family once they become sexually disloyal.
 

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manfrombelow

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Sorry for digging this up, but I must comment to express that I agree 100% with OP.

What is considered "love" from a woman for her man, is actually respect. In other words, respect is the highest form of the so-called "love".

The more a woman respects and looks up to her man, the more she happily wants to stay with him, to happily mimic his lifestyle, to happily adopt his traits & habits, and so on.

My ex, at the beginning of our relationship, she was so attracted to me that one time she sent me a pic in which the way she biting the cigarette looked exactly like that of a pic of mine that I had sent her previously. She looked up to me so much she even imitated my posture.
 

manfrombelow

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Many people. For example my father, mother, some friends. I do not respect these people. They are not very wise. I do not disrespect them I just don't look up to them. I do not want to emulate them.

Women have to admire you in order to love you. Men dont have to admire in order to love. Most of the time we dont admire the women we are with yet we still love them. You dont admire you dog yet you still love it etc.

When I say respect I mean admire. Maybe I am missing the true definition of respect. Can you give me your definition bro? Thanks
Exactly, while it's a must that women respect/admire/look up to you in order to love you, it is not vice-versa. Men don't need to "admire" a girl to be able to love her.
 

mrskinnypantz

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i was thinkin about this the other night ''are women designed to be temporary? ''
then i came to the conclusion that people make mistakes.. men and women.
the bible states that man will be separated from his mother and father and joined together as one with his wife
it also states the he who finds a wife , finds a good thing.
with that said im going to go ahead and assume woman was actually created from men to love and stay with men.
im also going to assume that since you have to 'find' her , that its probably not going to be easy .
sorry for going off track , hope this helps with some perspective
 

DonJuanjr

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i was thinkin about this the other night ''are women designed to be temporary? ''
then i came to the conclusion that people make mistakes.. men and women.
the bible states that man will be separated from his mother and father and joined together as one with his wife
it also states the he who finds a wife , finds a good thing.
with that said im going to go ahead and assume woman was actually created from men to love and stay with men.
im also going to assume that since you have to 'find' her , that its probably not going to be easy .
sorry for going off track , hope this helps with some perspective
I'm pretty sure the bible wasn't referencing female nature with social media and tinder as a variable.
 

Bandolero

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This is awesome.

Looking back , this perspective reflects the wins and losses in my dating life .

It is basically holding frame , which is not always possible . Everybody goes through something at some point .

Don't try to be understood, make sure to be respected.
 
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SW15

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I don't think relationships were meant to last forever. The 7 year itch served a function. It takes 7 yrs for the children to be somewhat independent. After those 7 yrs or so maybe women were designed to leave.

Us men just have to accept this reality.
Yes. This is it.

It took me until my mid-30s to understand and accept this reality. Lifelong romantic relationships are not feasible for most, outside of the truly devout religious. The truly devout religious are staying together due to a societal pressure.

I agree with the idea that women were designed for serial monogamy of some sort of medium term. It's expressed in the 7 year itch in many cases. I've put forth the idea before that the shelf life of goodness for most romantic relationships is roughly 5 years.

To me, the best strategy for accepting the reality has been to minimize entanglements. Don't marry (avoid the financial consequences of divorce) and don't have kids. Accept it ends.
 

catsmeow

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I'm pretty sure the bible wasn't referencing female nature with social media and tinder as a variable.
DJ, I gave your post a haha which I meant in a good way, not a mocking way; your post was funny but kinda sad too as this is our world now - FB, Instagram, Tinder, hookups and other various forms of BS.

You don't want a girl to " love" you. Love comes and goes. You want here to deeply admire and respect you.
@Pandora, I'm confused by your first sentence.

Love, admiration, respect all co-exist simultaneously for women, so of course you want a girl to love you.

Problem is, women have options now, and independence; they don't *need* a man like they used to back in the day, so once the admiration and respect go, so does she and her love.

Perhaps that's what you're experiencing?

Women leaving when the admiration and/or respect go, and you're assuming she never "loved" you? Or isn't capable of loving you?

Not an accusation, just a question. As I said, I was confused by your first sentence.

Not all women leave men due to hypergamy (some do, not all), they leave because the admiration and respect are gone.

Not to call anyone out, but @Pan87 isn't that precisely what happened with your ex? Admittedly, she left because her respect, admiration and thus her attraction died due to your cheating, not hypergamy. You posted that yourself.

So not sure why you posted women leave due to hypergamy, seems to go against what you yourself experienced.
 
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Pan87

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DJ, I gave your post a haha which I meant in a good way, not a mocking way; your post was funny but kinda sad too as this is our world now - FB, Instagram, Tinder, hookups and other various forms of BS.



@Pandora, I'm confused by your first sentence.

Love, admiration, respect all co-exist simultaneously for women, so of course you want a girl to love you.

Problem is, women have options now, and independence; they don't *need* a man like they used to back in the day, so once the admiration and respect go, so does she and her love.

Perhaps that's what you're experiencing?

Women leaving when the admiration and/or respect go, and you're assuming she never "loved" you? Or isn't capable of loving you?

Not an accusation, just a question. As I said, I was confused by your first sentence.

Not all women leave men due to hypergamy (some do, not all), they leave because the admiration and respect are gone.

Not to call anyone out, but @Pan87 isn't that precisely what happened with your ex? Admittedly, she left because her respect, admiration and thus her attraction died due to your cheating, not hypergamy. You posted that yourself.

So not sure why you posted women leave due to hypergamy, seems to go against what you yourself experienced.
I think it's sligthly more competemd than that. I think the respect/admiration/drops first, then hympergamy takes over.

She's not hypergamous when she's found the "one". She's the opposite. She'll start smothering the guy.

I think this is what skews guys up - She is literally All IN and then is ALL OUT.


It;s too brutal for the simp mind to comprehend "but...but... I a tork love last foreddah"
 

logicallefty

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Sorry for digging this up, but I must comment to express that I agree 100% with OP.

What is considered "love" from a woman for her man, is actually respect. In other words, respect is the highest form of the so-called "love".

The more a woman respects and looks up to her man, the more she happily wants to stay with him, to happily mimic his lifestyle, to happily adopt his traits & habits, and so on.

My ex, at the beginning of our relationship, she was so attracted to me that one time she sent me a pic in which the way she biting the cigarette looked exactly like that of a pic of mine that I had sent her previously. She looked up to me so much she even imitated my posture.
Spot on!!!
 

Grounded eagle

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Sorry for digging this up, but I must comment to express that I agree 100% with OP.

What is considered "love" from a woman for her man, is actually respect. In other words, respect is the highest form of the so-called "love".

The more a woman respects and looks up to her man, the more she happily wants to stay with him, to happily mimic his lifestyle, to happily adopt his traits & habits, and so on.

My ex, at the beginning of our relationship, she was so attracted to me that one time she sent me a pic in which the way she biting the cigarette looked exactly like that of a pic of mine that I had sent her previously. She looked up to me so much she even imitated my posture.
This is too true.One of my exes started talking like me and using phrases I use.
 
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