"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Women are too insecure for LTRs

rjc149

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On this forum, we all tend to focus on the top 25% SMV tranche of women, because of course, they're the ones we want to bang.

They're also the ones who cause the most problems, generally speaking. They have the most options. They get the most attention. They are usually the most spoiled and entitled. They are the most likely to test, the most likely to disrespect, and the most likely to monkey-branch or exercise hypergamy. Our focus on them causes posters to create threads that bitterly generalize all women based on a small cohort of women.

Everyone here has the potential to have a great relationship with a woman who is attractive enough to bust inside of for many years, and who isn't a sh!tbird.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Blacksheep

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Thats interesting! I think that trying to hide or not accept that insecurity can be damageful in any gender and create those kind of behaviors.

Accepting that might be the first step to learn how to deal with that. Cause in the end, we all have insecurities and fears.

I can't believe when someone tells he/she is 100% secure, unless he/she doesnt feel any emotion at all.

What I've learned from my insecurities was that better than trying to kill or ignore it... When you recognize and try to understand, those side effects get better.

Maybe for better relationships, if any part learned to recognize and understand it, and also maybe be open about it to the partner, there could be better relationships. Those games and behaviors are really not good.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I don't think that there is a look versus character trade-off that you think there is anymore. That's sort of an old wives tale from the past. If anything in my experience the more attractive women are more secure in their ability to attract a mate and therefore are not so combative and playing the power games. Of course that also makes them difficult to keep. But an insecure women that is less attractive and more neurotic about keeping you is arguably even worse.

There is a gratitude component where a woman will be better if she thinks you're the best you can do, which somewhat correlates, but eventually evens out with time.
So are you saying a less attractive one or one who "thinks" she less attractive will be MORE likely to play power games with you to "bring you down a few pegs"?
 

Hamurabimbi

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My past 3 years of dating women. Easily 80+% wanted a committed, exclusive LTR. Even the Tinder girls, who matched me when my bio said ‘just looking for casual’.
 
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