Woman turns down drinks idea, prefers coffee

[mr. kennedy]

Long story short, grabbed the digits from a HB9 a few days ago at a happy hour event. We spoke for a good 20-30 minutes while my friend distracted her friend.

Texted her this evening to meet up for drinks tomorrow and she responded by saying she has a really long day tomorrow but we could meet up for coffee but not drinks afterwards around 9 PM. I know she drinks because when I initially met her she had a drink in her hand.

Is the coffee suggestion basically telling me she wants no escalation or am I reading too much into this?

 

[mr. kennedy]

Also knew a girl that only drank coffee, alcohol affected her legs, they would open.

As I mentioned in my OP, she does drink alcohol. She had a drink in her hand when I approached her.

 

[Fireballs]

It's such a turn off when girls do this. It's up to you but I wouldn't play into her frame..

 

[mr. kennedy]

It's such a turn off when girls do this. It's up to you but I wouldn't play into her frame..

Please elaborate.

 

[EverSure75]

To me coffee implies a short date. Usually an hour tops. With drinks as you can imagine it can go on for hours.

I make the distinction with women I meet. Ones I'm feeling out to see if we click I invite for coffee in the day. If I liked her immediately on meeting I invite for drinks or dinner.

 

[Serenity]

She wouldn't go for anything if she didn't leave a chance for something to happen. Some girls just don't like dates with alcohol, things move too fast. She'll probably feel more comfortable with a coffee and not have to deal with a guy pushing on her for sex, while also having less self-control because of alcohol.

To many women who's not looking for just sex, going for drinks with a guy they just met is a dumb idea. We all know how that is supposed to go down and only some want it. The coffee is shorter too and they can leave early if they don't feel it's right, so just be cool and casual. If she stays after drinking her coffee for a while you're doing it right.

 

[BeExcellent]

Ok so do a coffee date, keep it shortish, shut it down early after you hang out a little while & take the opportunity to get to know her. You can build rapport & do kino at a coffee place - or go somewhere you can grab coffee & then go for a walk together.

The purpose of any sort of date is to enjoy yourself & the other person...and see if they warrant another date.

So keep it light, go hang out & see if you find her worth any additional time.

 

[Trump]

Long story short, grabbed the digits from a HB9 a few days ago at a happy hour event. We spoke for a good 20-30 minutes while my friend distracted her friend.

Texted her this evening to meet up for drinks tomorrow and she responded by saying she has a really long day tomorrow but we could meet up for coffee but not drinks afterwards around 9 PM. I know she drinks because when I initially met her she had a drink in her hand.

Is the coffee suggestion basically telling me she wants no escalation or am I reading too much into this?

You talked to a HB9 for 30 minutes at a happy hour event while your friend distracted her friend, and you didn't ask her out on a date? What were you talking to her about the entire time, the weather?

You were isolated, you were alone, she was flirting with you, you should have asked her out RIGHT THERE. Now 2 days later you been demoted from a guy who she could likely sleep with to a guy to a friend who she has coffee with.

Brutal.

 

[Von]

She said Yes

But she's not dtf

1 thing to do : You pick the best coffee place, you make her wanna see you again (for a date)

 

[dustmuffin]

I have screwed quite a few women on first date coffee dates.

Sit next to them apply kino and game as usual. Ask them over to see your pet, TV or whatever. Give them plausible deniability.

If it dosent work there is always a second date if you want.

 

[RangerMIke]

Tell her she can drink whatever she wants, then name a place/time that serves coffee. But you need to have a drink, because otherwise you will lose your frame. You asked her out for drinks, you're drinking. She can do whatever she wants.

 

[The Duke]

I suspect she doesn't want to drink alcohol because she has low impulse control and it got her into past situations she regretted! ;-) Go to a place that has alcohol and coffee. You drink what you want, don't let a girl manipulate the situation for her best interest.