Woman don't want to have sex with me

[lost_blackbird]

Anxious about what?

The descriptions of what you guys do to escalate an encounter towards intercourse.
Imagining myself in that scenario gives me anxiety, everything from being alone in
an intimate setting with a female to putting pressure on her to put out. I'm really not
cut out for that kind of thing. I grab her 'this' I put her hand on my 'that'.... <shudder>

 

[MatureDJ]

Let me get this straight... You stayed in a "relationship" for two years, but never had vaginal penetration?

I take that attitude that a vajaya target is not as important as the ejaculation. I would have no problem with a gal that would jerk or suck me off regularly. Besides, a lot of cooties have chlamydia these days.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The descriptions of what you guys do to escalate an encounter towards intercourse.
Imagining myself in that scenario gives me anxiety, everything from being alone in
an intimate setting with a female to putting pressure on her to put out. I'm really not
cut out for that kind of thing. I grab her 'this' I put her hand on my 'that'.... <shudder>

Guess you don't get laid very often then.

 

[RickTheToad]

I take that attitude that a vajaya target is not as important as the ejaculation. I would have no problem with a gal that would jerk or suck me off regularly. Besides, a lot of cooties have chlamydia these days.

Get an STD test prior to inserting. You can still very much get Chlamydia through oral sex.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Genuinely getting anxious just reading some of this stuff.....

Then don't worry about it and stay a virgin. Go read Dr. Seuss books.

Maybe Green Eggs and Ham is more your style?

 

[Earthless]

About the 1st gf wont speculate and should not stuck on this. Could actually be that she had her own issues and that made you hesitate considering your ability to get sexual with girls in general. This is trauma based

 

[lost_blackbird]

Guess you don't get laid very often then.

Duh? Do you think??? I guess you don't read whole threads then?
That's okay I understand, there are lots of long, difficult words for you to get your head around.
To answer your question. (BTW you indicate that with one of these "?").
It's been about 18 months since the last time give or take. Then maybe another six months before that
so to give you a hand with the math that's once in about two years. So what?

Then don't worry about it and stay a virgin. Go read Dr. Seuss books.
Maybe Green Eggs and Ham is more your style?

I'm older than you are, you retard! Where did I say anywhere on this forum that I was a virgin?
You don't earn your virginity back because you've chosen to abstain for a while.
But please, get your little jibe in pal, if it makes you feel better about yourself.
The fact that you felt the need to do so says more about you than it does me.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hello, I've been in a 2-year relationship with a girl that didn't want to have sex because she felt she wasn't ready yet [we did pretty much everything besides sex]. At the time I thought it was normal because not everybody is open or ready to do it at age 18 but then I've had 3 or 4 hook-ups that went well but the same situation kept happening. I've meditated on it but I can't find a reason. I'm pretty attractive so yeah... I don't know what I am doing wrong. So my question is, how do escalate a relationship into sex and what might be preventing one to not escalate into it.

Post pics of yourself, just hide the face if you'd like. We can then see if it's a physical issue. However, it is probably a confidence and the way you hold yourself issue. Basically, you need to work on yourself.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Duh? Do you think??? I guess you don't read whole threads then?
That's okay I understand, there are lots of long, difficult words for you to get your head around.
To answer your question. (BTW you indicate that with one of these "?").
It's been about 18 months since the last time give or take. Then maybe another six months before that
so to give you a hand with the math that's once in about two years. So what?


I'm older than you are, you retard! Where did I say anywhere on this forum that I was a virgin?
You don't earn your virginity back because you've chosen to abstain for a while.
But please, get your little jibe in pal, if it makes you feel better about yourself.
The fact that you felt the need to do so says more about you than it does me.

No offense but if you are shuddering and afraid of basic escalation with women it probably isn't voluntary but just go with that if it makes you feel better.

 

[lost_blackbird]

No offense but if you are shuddering and afraid of basic escalation with women it probably isn't voluntary but just go
with that if it makes you feel better.

Nice try on calling me a fag, negative on that. I wish it were that simple. I'm attracted to the female form so long as I don't
have to deal with them in person.

I'd say 50/50 on the emboldened point. You can't decide to develop Asperger's syndrome so that bit is quite involuntary,
but you can decide to spare yourself the anxiety caused by more or less all interpersonal encounters but for me especially
those with members of the opposite sex that I may feel some attraction towards. It's called a coping strategy albeit a relatively
unhealthy one. I came on here to learn and observe, as I'm not short on female admirers. I've had 7 Tinder matches since last
Sunday and I most certainly don't swipe right on landwhales, single mothers or women that have hit every branch of the ugly
tree on the way down. I can communicate and charm with ease using text, but in person it all goes out of the window and is
ultimately what cost me my wife and partner of some 18 years as I struggle hugely with intimacy and physical contact. I don't
like to touch or be touched. I'm on Tinder as a learning experience more than anything else, I'm not interested in meeting these
girls, just figuring out what makes them tick.

I was as I usually am, just being open and honest with my comments on here. I can't change how I'm wired, most of my
interpersonal social behaviour is learnt and not at all natural to me. If I were to just go along with my natural instinct I'd lock
myself away from everybody and live a solitary and lonely life. I'm trying to avoid that, but need help understanding such
interactions with others. Hence why I'm here. You however are serving to beautifully illustrate the reason why I tend to prefer to
avoid being honest and open about what's going on in my head. Some folk are very judgemental even when it's clear that another individual is having some difficulties. I won't let that dissuade me from continuing my research, my mission is more important
than the opinion of another random hater. I'm not ashamed of who I am, I'm just trying to learn to fit in better and maybe find
some happiness and companionship along the way. It's a long road ahead, but I'm up for the challenge.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Okay it may be hygiene problems. I knew a guy and it was a cultural thing and couldn't figure out why women did not want to go that far with him. If not hygiene maybe you are saying too much. One thing men do when they are younger is trying to identify with women and plus they are nervous so what happens is the blab everything about themselves. Think of it on the premise of knowing the end of a movie, a TV series and reading a book? If you knew the ending and the whole story would you still want to watch it? You might but you still will get a bitter feeling because you knew what happened. One of the traps guys run into is when a woman talks about their exes and you have to listen to their sob story of them being cheaters and abusers but one difference between you and them. They had sex with her. You can't take what a woman says verbatim and then give her a hug and then say I will never do that to you. Remember women are drama driven. One thing I have done when she starts talking about negative experiences with exes especially when abuse or whatever happens to tell her you do know you were the equation to happen? Did you leave right away? Not be a shrink but right then and there you know if she gets offended you know for a fact she has not taken accountability for what happened to her and trust me you would not want to date her anyway. Never fall for a sob story a chick says. Also, walk if it seems she doesn't want to have sex with you. You could be in the process of making out and she stops you then you leave. Don't text or call her or anything after. Remember this? Women will go to bed right away with a high-value man if she sexually desires them. The real reason they say they don't know you well enough right away is she is trying to figure out if you are alpha or beta man that is what she is doing. You may be sending mixed signals stating you are beta so the best thing you can do in this case is cut your losses and leave. Then at least you will demonstrate alpha tendencies to her and for the future. If she contacts you, ignore. I would only respond if she comes to your place naked with beer. That is obviously an extreme case but the thing is you have to put it out there you are a certain way without saying too much and demonstrate you won't take her crap.