"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Woman at work is has scheduled a one-on-one meeting with me.

logicallefty

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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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expos

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Just to fill everyone in....

Nothing really happened. She just had concerns about my team and my projects being synced up more properly her team.

Regardless, I think some of the advice given in this thread was pretty good for those who have corporate jobs and deal with a lot of a-hole behavior.

Thanks.
 

Stagger Lee

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expos said:
Just to fill everyone in....

Nothing really happened. She just had concerns about my team and my projects being synced up more properly her team.

Regardless, I think some of the advice given in this thread was pretty good for those who have corporate jobs and deal with a lot of a-hole behavior.

Thanks.
It's possible she may have toned it down after you gave signs you weren't willing to jump every time she made a request. I think you said you asked your manager about her requesting a meeting. It's possible she realized you weren't an "easy target". Just a thought.
 

BetterCallSaul

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To the OP:

Great advice from everyone so far but let me add this. I realize on this site it's about not playing the sh!t games women like to play. But in this case practically every place I've ever worked there has been a chain of command. In any organization, if you go high enough, you find one person who has the authority to call the shots. He or she doesn't do it all thus they delegate, thus the chain of command. If I, as a manager, found someone else is hosting meetings where they demand info of you, what you're working on, what your workload is like, without informing me first or at the very least copying me on this, I'd blow a fvcking fuse regardless if it's a woman or not. You do NOT go around ordering other people's staff around as if it they were your own.

So, serious question, is this woman a project manager of some kind who is working on something that coincides with what you do or might pick up something in the future that could include you? That's the only conceivable reason I could see for needing a one on one with you. And that brings me to the other point - don't even go to a one-on-one with this person or any person ever who tries sh!t like this. For all you know, the meeting starts out fine, then she decides to blackmail you for something, threatening to go to HR saying you sexually harassed her. If she's a pro at this, you're screwed. The point here is if she keeps this crap up wanting a one-on-one, either make yourself unavailable and do not go but if she persists, invite or otherwise drag someone else in there with you as a witness. Does not matter who, preferably an HR rep if you can get one but another team member you can trust works fine to. Make up some excuse why you thought they needed to be there.

You've already indicated this person will backstab or connive her way however possible to achieve what she wants so do not trust anything she does.

Lastly, this advice is universal. It applies to anyone, not just women.
 

BetterCallSaul

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expos said:
Just to fill everyone in....

Nothing really happened. She just had concerns about my team and my projects being synced up more properly her team.

Regardless, I think some of the advice given in this thread was pretty good for those who have corporate jobs and deal with a lot of a-hole behavior.

Thanks.
I just now re-read this post. Dude, she is already about 2-3 steps ahead of you. Your team and projects being synced up with HER team? Let's try to imagine something real easy here. She goes to some higher up stating YOU and your team are lagging behind or whatever. For something, perhaps some minor project that should only last a month or two, she needs YOU and YOUR team working on it. She meets with higher ups for several weeks about this, continually floating the idea. They either agree with her or she keeps meeting with them and wearing them down so they just give in. They decide that for a short while, as a trial period, YOU and YOUR team report to her for the duration of this short project.

Does not matter how well you work on it. The project is finished, it's a great success, everyone pats everyone else on the back, especially her. Higher ups see good results and want more of the same.

Get my drift now?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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