"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Woman at work is has scheduled a one-on-one meeting with me.

expos

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I will make this short....

This woman at work is a know-it-all, control freak. Single, never married, no kids. Work is all she cares about. The only reason she got hired is because she knew someone higher up that gave her the position.

This woman frequently refers to our department as her team. Well, the reality is, I do not report to this woman.

She is always at odds with what I'm doing, but I'm always getting good feedback from our client and my boss.

She just has a problem with how I handle things and I believe my meeting with her tomorrow is more or less a time for her to pull me aside and control me and tell how I should do my job.

I intend on listening, but not allowing her to push me around at all.

Any pointers on how to handle this b!tch tomorrow?

Thanks.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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logicallefty

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Email her and cancel the meeting like tonight from home if possible. Tell her she can email you with any information she has to give you, or any questions she has. The secret to dealing with these kinds of people is get it in writing, everything so much as 'it's sunny out today"
 

Bokanovsky

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logicallefty said:
Email her and cancel the meeting like tonight from home if possible. Tell her she can email you with any information she has to give you, or any questions she has. The secret to dealing with these kinds of people is get it in writing, everything so much as 'it's sunny out today"
This. If you don't report to her, there is no reason for a one-on-one meeting.
 

Dust 2 Dust

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I had a female coworker try to pull the same crap with me once and I refused to meet with her. I told her whatever problems she had with me she could submit them to our department supervisor. I'd never agree to a meeting with anyone who isn't my supervisor.
 

expos

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Great advice. I've cancelled my meeting with her.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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logicallefty

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expos said:
Great advice. I've cancelled my meeting with her.
:up: excellent. Now she may approach you and talk verbally. Stand your ground and tell her you are busy and don't have time to talk. and she must Email you.

She may want to rip into you with something she don't want on record. All the more reason you do.
 

speed dawg

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Good for you expos.....keep us informed on this situation. Very interesting.
 

logicallefty

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:moon: well sucks to be her cuz you are going to deny it, right?

Or if she insists on a meeting and not Email tell her, via Email, that the meeting will be audio recorded.

And those are her two choices; Email or audio record.

If she doesnt like either then she can kiss it :moon:
 

speed dawg

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expos said:
Ha! She just rescheduled.
Ask her to email you an outline of what topics she wants to discuss. Basically, make it tough for her. When/if you get that, and you don't like what she's sent, send it to your boss. Keep a log of any verbal negativity.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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logicallefty

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I can't stress enough men, you gotta watch these sociopathic women in the workplace. They are so dangerous.

My sociopath cvnt boss one time told a guy "I need to meet with you just for a few minutes, it's not a big deal". So he did.

She had the HR director and her boss there and just ripped this guy's body cavity open. Threw a bunch of stuff on him and he never saw coming.

Had he known what the meeting was about, he would have printed some emails and other supporting documents in his favor, but he didnt know what it was about and she said "no big deal" when it really was a big deal.

These cvnts are all the same. They will rip off your head and sh!t down your neck to move you out of their way so they can climb up the latter. Trust NONE of them.
 

speed dawg

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Tictac said:
Just go talk to her in her office or yours. Keep it informal.
Keeping it informal and 'secret' might be exactly what she wants, ie playing into her hands. I'd get a meeting agenda first. If that doesn't work, go into her office and ask her what's up....but with the door wide open.

If she can't produce an agenda for the meeting, then it's obviously not very important. Thus, it can be handled in an informal way in her office. Either way, she's backed into a corner and cannot win. If she really pushes for a private one on one conversation with no agenda beforehand, you know it's personal and therefore, you shouldn't have to be subjected to it.
 

Married Buried

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Tictac said:
Just go talk to her in her office or yours. Keep it informal.

Scheduling a meeting? And she's not your boss?

What is that anyway?

Maybe she wants to ****. She wants to give the OP his own "Naughty in the Office" scene while she sucks him off with the blinds closed and the whole office outside.

Damn, the OP blew his chance.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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synergy1

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There is not enough in this story - but someone who you don't report to calling for a meeting with no agenda doesn't make sense. Need to know more.
 

expos

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I have not responded to her second meeting invite. She has no real agenda in her email message other than one or two sentences that are vague. I know precisely what she is trying to do and that is control, or try play a motherly figure and talk down to me and tell me how to do my job.

The guy I report to has been informed that she is attempting to meet with me. He says to go in with an open ear, but I'm not sure what the benefit will be. I have nothing to learn from her. My boss lives on the other side of the country btw.
 

speed dawg

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Refer to my post above. If you've asked for an agenda, she hasn't given it to you, you've informed your boss, he said have the meeting......then go to her office. Ask her what's up.

Whatever happens, just smile. If she verbally abuses you, say nothing back. Take out a notepad and take notes the best you can. Sign and date it. Send it to your boss.
 

VikingKing

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You could always just go to the meeting. Let her say everything she wants, and if you dont like it, just smile confidently and say "ah, you know what I hear what your saying, but what I'm doing works just fine, thanks for input." and just walk away.

Be polite though. But just treat her how you would treat your 5 yearold daughter if she was to give advice on changing the oil in your car.
 

expos

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I will break this down for everyone.

So I work at a Fortune 500 company and I'm the Art Director on our companies largest account. Everyone runs around with their heads cut off and live in constant fear of our main client. People are quick to over react and throw each other under the bus. I don't get into the drama at all. I just do my work, give prompt responses, that's it.

The woman who wants to meet with me, has had it out for me for no real reason and has written an email to my boss voicing her concerns. She's even newer to the company than I am and is trying to throw her weight around.

She has two people who report to her, but is under the assumption that since she is a project manager, that our department is "her team", which is false. I do not report to her, but do work directly with people on her team.

So she's already went behind my back which I thought was a little low. Keep in mind that the client is happy with my work, and everything has been delivered on time. So her complaints are more or less personal. I have not upset the client in anyway.

My boss is a new hire, who is proven to be a bit of a hack with no real talent that I can see. How he got hired, I do not know, but I feel bad for people who have been working at the company longer than myself and were hoping to have his position. This guy replaced the guy who hired me - who was great - which was a big reason for me joining the company.

So I can't go to him for a lot of good advice, but he has told me to meet with her and give her floor for a few minutes.

I'm usually pretty good about making decisions that are work-related. But I'm admittedly stumped and tired. I don't want to deal with this woman, but at the same time I'm trying to be a team player and not create chaos and drama.

So the route I want to take is to listen, but indirectly let her know that I'm not going to be controlled by her.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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