Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Woman at work is has scheduled a one-on-one meeting with me.

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,000
Reaction score
5,151
Age
52
Location
Northeast Florida, USA

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

expos

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2013
Messages
792
Reaction score
132
Just to fill everyone in....

Nothing really happened. She just had concerns about my team and my projects being synced up more properly her team.

Regardless, I think some of the advice given in this thread was pretty good for those who have corporate jobs and deal with a lot of a-hole behavior.

Thanks.
 

Stagger Lee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 7, 2009
Messages
2,159
Reaction score
138
expos said:
Just to fill everyone in....

Nothing really happened. She just had concerns about my team and my projects being synced up more properly her team.

Regardless, I think some of the advice given in this thread was pretty good for those who have corporate jobs and deal with a lot of a-hole behavior.

Thanks.
It's possible she may have toned it down after you gave signs you weren't willing to jump every time she made a request. I think you said you asked your manager about her requesting a meeting. It's possible she realized you weren't an "easy target". Just a thought.
 

BetterCallSaul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
855
Reaction score
373
Location
Texas
To the OP:

Great advice from everyone so far but let me add this. I realize on this site it's about not playing the sh!t games women like to play. But in this case practically every place I've ever worked there has been a chain of command. In any organization, if you go high enough, you find one person who has the authority to call the shots. He or she doesn't do it all thus they delegate, thus the chain of command. If I, as a manager, found someone else is hosting meetings where they demand info of you, what you're working on, what your workload is like, without informing me first or at the very least copying me on this, I'd blow a fvcking fuse regardless if it's a woman or not. You do NOT go around ordering other people's staff around as if it they were your own.

So, serious question, is this woman a project manager of some kind who is working on something that coincides with what you do or might pick up something in the future that could include you? That's the only conceivable reason I could see for needing a one on one with you. And that brings me to the other point - don't even go to a one-on-one with this person or any person ever who tries sh!t like this. For all you know, the meeting starts out fine, then she decides to blackmail you for something, threatening to go to HR saying you sexually harassed her. If she's a pro at this, you're screwed. The point here is if she keeps this crap up wanting a one-on-one, either make yourself unavailable and do not go but if she persists, invite or otherwise drag someone else in there with you as a witness. Does not matter who, preferably an HR rep if you can get one but another team member you can trust works fine to. Make up some excuse why you thought they needed to be there.

You've already indicated this person will backstab or connive her way however possible to achieve what she wants so do not trust anything she does.

Lastly, this advice is universal. It applies to anyone, not just women.
 

BetterCallSaul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
855
Reaction score
373
Location
Texas
expos said:
Just to fill everyone in....

Nothing really happened. She just had concerns about my team and my projects being synced up more properly her team.

Regardless, I think some of the advice given in this thread was pretty good for those who have corporate jobs and deal with a lot of a-hole behavior.

Thanks.
I just now re-read this post. Dude, she is already about 2-3 steps ahead of you. Your team and projects being synced up with HER team? Let's try to imagine something real easy here. She goes to some higher up stating YOU and your team are lagging behind or whatever. For something, perhaps some minor project that should only last a month or two, she needs YOU and YOUR team working on it. She meets with higher ups for several weeks about this, continually floating the idea. They either agree with her or she keeps meeting with them and wearing them down so they just give in. They decide that for a short while, as a trial period, YOU and YOUR team report to her for the duration of this short project.

Does not matter how well you work on it. The project is finished, it's a great success, everyone pats everyone else on the back, especially her. Higher ups see good results and want more of the same.

Get my drift now?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Top