Witholding sex

[CaptFinnBad]

I have another thread describing the issue I'm having.

Basically girlfriend is hormonal after birth control and stressed due to external factors. She's not wanted to have sex for two weeks.

Today she tried to have sex with me multiple times. I turned her down.

Not trying to be a **** or manipulative. I just got the impression she was just doing it to try and rebuild the lost connection with me due to us not having sex for a couple of weeks and she wasn't really into
****ing me.

I genuinely don't want to have sex with her at this point unless it's GOOD sex. You know hanging of the shanderlear type sex.

Really don't want to just go through the motions.

Like I could just have sex with her (it would be okay) But I'm thinking just hold out and give it time.

Keep turning her down if I don't feel that genuine primal desire from her.

Our sex life was on fire up until a few weeks ago. I want that back.


Opinions?

 

[Plinco]

Talk to her about it. Maybe she needs to get off the birth control and address what is stressing her out.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Find another girl. Ime when the sex stops, she’s getting ready to monkey branch

 

[mrskinnypantz]

2 weeks is way too long to get be getting denied sex.
you denied her of sex now so she is winning (because she didn’t want to have sex in the first place) don’t play that game , it’s pointless. You should seriously have a talk with her about it , but then like rollo said”true desire cannot be negotiated”
You may want to start thinking about getting rid of her bro , do you have any other women that you are talking to?

 

[The Duke]

I have another thread describing the issue I'm having.

Basically girlfriend is hormonal after birth control and stressed due to external factors. She's not wanted to have sex for two weeks.

Today she tried to have sex with me multiple times. I turned her down.

Not trying to be a **** or manipulative. I just got the impression she was just doing it to try and rebuild the lost connection with me due to us not having sex for a couple of weeks and she wasn't really into
****ing me.

I genuinely don't want to have sex with her at this point unless it's GOOD sex. You know hanging of the shanderlear type sex.

Really don't want to just go through the motions.

Like I could just have sex with her (it would be okay) But I'm thinking just hold out and give it time.

Keep turning her down if I don't feel that genuine primal desire from her.

Our sex life was on fire up until a few weeks ago. I want that back.


Opinions?

She might try a different pill. They all effect them a bit differently.

So what changed from a few weeks ago? You said previously things were on fire. How long have you been together?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

And how exactly do you think she will get to that stage if she feels no connection with you?

Seems you need a lesson in terms of how women work.

 

[Veréngárda]

I know exactly what you mean.

Don't listen to these other guys who say it's basically over. Sometimes you need to let a dry spell pass.

If it goes on for too long without apparent reason, then you worry. But you seem to know what it is so don't.

Ask her what you can do to help take her mind off it or help whatever's going on go by.. and be persistent about it.

 

[logicallefty]

A man turning a woman down for sex takes a lot of willpower. Most guys cant do that. Good job. I wouldn’t jump ship yet. Wait a few days and try again.

 

[RickTheToad]

A man turning a woman down for sex takes a lot of willpower. Most guys cant do that. Good job. I wouldn’t jump ship yet. Wait a few days and try again.

I do it once in a while. Always good to do, plus sometimes I'm just tired from working 16+ shifts.

 

[RickTheToad]

OP, you should continue to do the push and pull. Sometimes have sex, sometimes not; depending on your mood. Also, throw in some BJs from her when she's not in the mood.

 

[2Rocky]

Any change in behavior is not good for a relationship. Sex (and Intimacy) is certainly one of those things.

"That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value."-Thomas Paine

When I would only see my GF every 4-6 weeks the sex was off the charts during our brief times together. When we moved in together there was this expectation that that intensity would continue. And it did for a few months..

When sex becomes a routine of "Every night before we turn off the lights" and less spontaneous we don't value it as much. Very similar to what happens with sugary snacks and insulin resistance. (Sex is the sugar and the Insulin is Satisfaction)

As I advised in your other thread, your Drought breaker needs to be above and beyond with enough time to make the emotional bonding part post coitus memorable. Something she can look back on in times of stress for mental clarity. It says everything is gonna be ok because Finn SHOWS me he is there physically and emotionally. This is also a good subject for pillowtalk.