"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Withholding attention

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Mazeman11

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Post some of your experiences on the results you got from withholding attention and being able to walk away.

The more I mature the more I realize how important it is to refrain from smothering and having the ability to walk away when things turn sour or when there is no potential of things developing between two people
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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doctorj

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moving on became easier, it took time but eventually I moved on

I'm now in the same situation again, withholding attention from the girl I like since i realized that she only wants friendship while I want a relationship...it's kinda hard since I get to see her online everyday and we share a class 3x a week, but I'm coping, I'm doing this to move on but I can't shake the fact that I'm still hoping that she'd initiate something again aside from the message she sent last week which I still haven't replied to
 
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Err0r

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withholding works well, but doesn't work for all girls. Don't let the boat sail to far or else the next guy will pick her up and that can happen any minute.
 
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doctorj

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Err0r said:
withholding works well, but doesn't work for all girls. Don't let the boat sail to far or else the next guy will pick her up and that can happen any minute.
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but shouldn't be the point is to not actually care about her anymore, it's up to her whether or not she would chase us to come back...either way we're already moving on chasing other HBs
 
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Joe Stud

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docj, hang in there and be aloof. woman want what is just outside their reach. i'm in a similar situation-gave her too much attention and became LJBF. Now I am purposely staying "too busy" and she's starting to invite me out. be aloof.. be a mystery. and if it doesnt work out... you dont worry because you are continueing to spin those plates!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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RFish

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KontrollerX wrote a excellent post on this recently. It was a reply to a thread helping some dudes out.

To further reinforce this you might want to search the posts his made and you should be able to see it. Yep take-aways are the best option and don't bother explaining and confronting.

Young man will make this mistakes but as you go along you realize that walk away is the best.
 
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doctorj

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I am actually on the verge of smothering her with attention all over again, 'cause I actually haven't been rejected or LJBF'd I just feel that there's nothing developing between us which is why I initiated NC/ganji/take away...
sometimes I just want to follow pook's advice that it's better to be rejected than doing nothing, but take-away is doing something (active disinterest), this is getting confusing especially since I'm still crazy about her
 
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Mazeman11

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doctorj said:
I am actually on the verge of smothering her with attention all over again, 'cause I actually haven't been rejected or LJBF'd I just feel that there's nothing developing between us which is why I initiated NC/ganji/take away...
sometimes I just want to follow pook's advice that it's better to be rejected than doing nothing, but take-away is doing something (active disinterest), this is getting confusing especially since I'm still crazy about her
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She already rejected you. She only wants your friendship.
 
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CRDJit

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Maybe it's a cultural thing (I'm Latino in a Latino country), but in my experience, withholding attention hasn't worked. Of course i'm not saying you have to smother her with attention, but whenever things are starting to go downhill and I've tried to play the "mysterious" or "busy" game, the girls simply don't bother chasing/calling, and when I reappear they have moved on to other things. You've got to find balance.
 
Thatfeel21

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I'm in the same situation.
a girl ive been dating's interest level has obviously plummeted, now she barely calls or texts anymore. I wouldnt mind to keep fvcking her, but
I refuse to contact her first because she isn't worth the chase. Smart move?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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doctorj

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CRDJit said:
Maybe it's a cultural thing (I'm Latino in a Latino country), but in my experience, withholding attention hasn't worked. Of course i'm not saying you have to smother her with attention, but whenever things are starting to go downhill and I've tried to play the "mysterious" or "busy" game, the girls simply don't bother chasing/calling, and when I reappear they have moved on to other things. You've got to find balance.
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It has more chances of being effective if she has interest in you from the start then for whatever reason plumetted, if she didn't care for you at all...then it wouldn't really matter, withholding attention wouldn't do shvt
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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