"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Withholding attention

Mazeman11

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Post some of your experiences on the results you got from withholding attention and being able to walk away.

The more I mature the more I realize how important it is to refrain from smothering and having the ability to walk away when things turn sour or when there is no potential of things developing between two people
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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doctorj

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moving on became easier, it took time but eventually I moved on

I'm now in the same situation again, withholding attention from the girl I like since i realized that she only wants friendship while I want a relationship...it's kinda hard since I get to see her online everyday and we share a class 3x a week, but I'm coping, I'm doing this to move on but I can't shake the fact that I'm still hoping that she'd initiate something again aside from the message she sent last week which I still haven't replied to
 

Err0r

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withholding works well, but doesn't work for all girls. Don't let the boat sail to far or else the next guy will pick her up and that can happen any minute.
 

doctorj

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Err0r said:
withholding works well, but doesn't work for all girls. Don't let the boat sail to far or else the next guy will pick her up and that can happen any minute.
but shouldn't be the point is to not actually care about her anymore, it's up to her whether or not she would chase us to come back...either way we're already moving on chasing other HBs
 

Joe Stud

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docj, hang in there and be aloof. woman want what is just outside their reach. i'm in a similar situation-gave her too much attention and became LJBF. Now I am purposely staying "too busy" and she's starting to invite me out. be aloof.. be a mystery. and if it doesnt work out... you dont worry because you are continueing to spin those plates!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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RFish

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KontrollerX wrote a excellent post on this recently. It was a reply to a thread helping some dudes out.

To further reinforce this you might want to search the posts his made and you should be able to see it. Yep take-aways are the best option and don't bother explaining and confronting.

Young man will make this mistakes but as you go along you realize that walk away is the best.
 

doctorj

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I am actually on the verge of smothering her with attention all over again, 'cause I actually haven't been rejected or LJBF'd I just feel that there's nothing developing between us which is why I initiated NC/ganji/take away...
sometimes I just want to follow pook's advice that it's better to be rejected than doing nothing, but take-away is doing something (active disinterest), this is getting confusing especially since I'm still crazy about her
 

Mazeman11

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doctorj said:
I am actually on the verge of smothering her with attention all over again, 'cause I actually haven't been rejected or LJBF'd I just feel that there's nothing developing between us which is why I initiated NC/ganji/take away...
sometimes I just want to follow pook's advice that it's better to be rejected than doing nothing, but take-away is doing something (active disinterest), this is getting confusing especially since I'm still crazy about her
She already rejected you. She only wants your friendship.
 

CRDJit

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Maybe it's a cultural thing (I'm Latino in a Latino country), but in my experience, withholding attention hasn't worked. Of course i'm not saying you have to smother her with attention, but whenever things are starting to go downhill and I've tried to play the "mysterious" or "busy" game, the girls simply don't bother chasing/calling, and when I reappear they have moved on to other things. You've got to find balance.
 

Thatfeel21

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I'm in the same situation.
a girl ive been dating's interest level has obviously plummeted, now she barely calls or texts anymore. I wouldnt mind to keep fvcking her, but
I refuse to contact her first because she isn't worth the chase. Smart move?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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doctorj

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CRDJit said:
Maybe it's a cultural thing (I'm Latino in a Latino country), but in my experience, withholding attention hasn't worked. Of course i'm not saying you have to smother her with attention, but whenever things are starting to go downhill and I've tried to play the "mysterious" or "busy" game, the girls simply don't bother chasing/calling, and when I reappear they have moved on to other things. You've got to find balance.
It has more chances of being effective if she has interest in you from the start then for whatever reason plumetted, if she didn't care for you at all...then it wouldn't really matter, withholding attention wouldn't do shvt
 
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