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With holding of sex is a dating strategy

Pandora

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Along time ago a female friend of mine told me that when a girl withholds se*, its just a dating strategy. My female friend told me that its not that girls view sex as sacred or special but that they are acting that way for an ulterior motive. She said that its simple economics. She also said that you don't find this behavior in ugly and average chicks because they cant afford to hold out the sex for too long. They don't view sex as less sacred. They just cant get away with not giving it up. From what i observed on a recent date, i think my female friend is correct.

A girl i went on a date with told me that she only f*#ks guys that she thinks are bad people. She does this because she doesn't care how they view her and that she does not see a long term future in the relationship. Either she would leave him soon or he is moving away very soon, or he is just such a bad person that she is not going to seriously date him.

She said that guys that she likes she takes it very slow. She actually told me that she does not even give up the po*n to these type of guys for a very very long time. She stated that if she see's a long term future with you then you are not gonna get any. She specifically stated that if she feels herself actually starting to really like you then she will not have s*x with you. She wont even get physical with you!!!

I personally feel that this girl is expressing female hypergamy. The guys she does not see a long term future in are the guys that she is aroused by. They are also the guys who are moving away very soon, so she will not get judged for being slutty. "Who cares becuz he is leaving". I assume these guys get her really hot.

They guys who she see a long term future with are the beta types with a nice personality. Marriage type. She would not compromise their respect of her by giving it up too easily. She want these beta types to look at her as a catch im guessing. Or she may not be sexually attracted to these beta types but still likes the idea of them being her boyfriend some day. Idk....but im sure its some form of female hypergamy. Help me figure this out.

Btw she is not giving it up to me at all right now but she calls me all the time. So i must be the beta type of dude to her ...FUC**!! :eek:
 

Peaks&Valleys

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Typical woman. She needs to get blown out so she finds some low life to give it to her. The guys that take her out on dates and buy her flowers she makes them wait 3 years. Welcome the creation of sosuave.net.

Other than that, yeah, makes sense. We all go slumming every once in a while when we need a piece of a$$, it's easy. The ones that mean something to us we spit our game on.

Women want a ring but they want get bent over and fvcked and have kum dripping down their nosees at the same time. They feel they have to go to two different sources for that.
 

Mike32ct

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Of this entire women thing, this topic is the one that is hardest for me to digest.

Honestly, the ONLY way it makes any sense would be if she isn't that attracted to the beta guy.

Why would she reward (with sex) a guy she "doesn't like," unless he has something else to compensate? For example, he's hot.

Let's say he is leaving town tomorrow... That by itself doesn't make him worthy to F. But if he's good looking AND leaving town, then he's fair game.

The flip side is, "Why would she punish (i.e. withhold sex from) a guy she does like unless he had some liability ie he's not good looking?"

I really don't buy the "I don't want the good guy to think less of me if I fawk him" argument. That sounds like total BS.
 
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zekko

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Mike32ct said:
I really don't buy the "I don't want the good guy to think less of me if I fawk him" argument. That sounds like total BS.
Yeah. I can see the "I'll screw the bad guy because I don't care what he thinks of me" thing. But if she holds off the good catch too long, she will just lose him. I can understand if she doesn't want to do the one night stand with him, but I can't see her holding him off for more than two or three dates.
 

Howiestern

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Pandora- at some point you will learn that you should take about 98pct of what women say with a grain of salt.

I haven't found a girl yet that didn't give it up by the 4th date regardless of their theories on how they control access to their "golden" snatch.
 

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PlayHer Man

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Great post OP.

I just hope you didn't make the mistake of actually LISTENING to anything women say. Do you really believe women just TELL men how they think and operate. NOPE.. what women tell you is what they want you to believe about them (and women in general).

Allow me to decode what she told you:

"If I'm sexually attracted to a man I will sleep with him right away. If I'm NOT sexually attracted to a man, BUT he has other qualities I can exploit for my own benefit, I will avoid having sex with him so I can use the lure of sex as motivation for him to let me exploit him in various ways (attention, money, companionship, fix my car, etc.).

I will do this even if I doubt the possibility of sex with him in the future. I know that if he believes he has a chance, he will stick around and do my bidding. Once I have gotten all I can from him without actually having sex with him.. I might make him my "boyfriend" and have sex with him at calculated times to keep him in line.. especially if I fear he might get sex from someone else and abandon me totally.

If I believe I can keep him around without sex, I will take it off the table and tell him he is my "friend" while I date and sleep with others". If I believe having sex with him will not improve my ability to exploit him, I will not have sex with him. Instead, I will just keep him as an "orbiter" who I can use occasionally for attention, favors, connections or last minute plans"
:)

All women operate this way.. whether they are aware of it or not. Men are viewed as pawns more than anything else.
 

Mike32ct

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zekko said:
Yeah. I can see the "I'll screw the bad guy because I don't care what he thinks of me" thing. But if she holds off the good catch too long, she will just lose him. I can understand if she doesn't want to do the one night stand with him, but I can't see her holding him off for more than two or three dates.
Exactly.
 

Mike32ct

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Makes sense. I agree with all this.

PlayHer Man said:
Great post OP.

I just hope you didn't make the mistake of actually LISTENING to anything women say. Do you really believe women just TELL men how they think and operate. NOPE.. what women tell you is what they want you to believe about them (and women in general).

Allow me to decode what she told you:

"If I'm sexually attracted to a man I will sleep with him right away. If I'm NOT sexually attracted to a man, BUT he has other qualities I can exploit for my own benefit, I will avoid having sex with him so I can use the lure of sex as motivation for him to let me exploit him in various ways (attention, money, companionship, fix my car, etc.).

I will do this even if I doubt the possibility of sex with him in the future. I know that if he believes he has a chance, he will stick around and do my bidding. Once I have gotten all I can from him without actually having sex with him.. I might make him my "boyfriend" and have sex with him at calculated times to keep him in line.. especially if I fear he might get sex from someone else and abandon me totally.

If I believe I can keep him around without sex, I will take it off the table and tell him he is my "friend" while I date and sleep with others". If I believe having sex with him will not improve my ability to exploit him, I will not have sex with him. Instead, I will just keep him as an "orbiter" who I can use occasionally for attention, favors, connections or last minute plans"
:)

All women operate this way.. whether they are aware of it or not. Men are views as pawns more than anything else.
 

Night-hawk

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Great thead. True words. Wise observations.
 

Who Dares Win

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Mike and Playherman pretty much solved it and reached the point.

Despite the years of dealing with women successfully and reading this site Im still astonished from the way they operate, they can be soft as puppies if a silver tongued bastard talks the right way while being cold as a reptile while dealing with their own husband or future partner.

Their acting is a web of manipulations inside an other web of deeper ones which doesnt stop near anything wheter is fairness,gratitude or justice.

They simply operate with a mental software which is a complete different engine of ours.

Now just to pe pragmatic I say that any resistance to intimacy has to be taken as a red flag no matter the wall of bvllsh1t created to justify it, if a woman finds you attractive and respect you sex is a natural step
in the relation right after reciprocated attention, conversely if you aint getting any and get confused/frustrated or victim of the hot and cold treatment its simply because she doesnt find you attractive.

And by attractive I mean able to attract her mentally and phisically not just being good looking, handsome and attractive are two different concepts.
 

Mike32ct

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Yes, I was using "good looking" loosely. It's quite possible for a guy to be good looking and her still not wanting to F him. Ultimately, it's about "attraction," which is not the same thing as looks. Agreed.

Shifting topics a bit...

I think she makes up these creative rationalizations to "butter up" the beta or make him feel better about being denied sex. Instead of saying, "Sorry you don't make my Gina tingle," she tells the beta these are the reasons she's stringing him along for sex...

For example...

"I can't F you yet. You're SPECIAL to me, unlike the guy from the bar that did me in my car."

Doesn't that make EVERY guy WANT to be special lol?

I definitely feel special, wanted, and desired when she doesn't want to F me lol.
 

Who Dares Win

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Mike32ct said:
For example...

"I can't F you yet. You're SPECIAL to me, unlike the guy from the bar that did me in my car."

Doesn't that make EVERY guy WANT to be special lol?

I definitely feel special, wanted, and desired when she doesn't want to F me lol.
ahahah

I wonder how would they like if we were to go to them and say:

"Do you really want a diamond like that other girl which I wanted for her body, I wanna give you my attention you deserve more than some object money can buy"
 

MatureDJ

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This is why fathers would force their daughters to wear chastity belts, and then upon the marriage, give the key to the new son-in-law.
 

Megaman XIV

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Alpha gets to f**k and beta spends the buck!

Danger, Who dares, Playher Man, Mike, all spot on. Rollo has it too! Get equipped with rep (for all that I can rep)

Women use sex all the time as bait. Women who are interested in you won't confuse you. She'll always be ready for the alpha, but the beta is on the backburner and gets sex when she sees it fitting for her.

Briffault's Law anyone?
 

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Colossus

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Keep it simple. A good rule of thumb is that some resistance is ok, even good, but if she is "making" you wait under the pretext it will be "worth" it, it's not. No pvssy is magical and this is a power play on her part.
 

origin138

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Colossus said:
Keep it simple. A good rule of thumb is that some resistance is ok, even good, but if she is "making" you wait under the pretext it will be "worth" it, it's not. No pvssy is magical and this is a power play on her part.
Really good post. In this case, her behavior would equate to nothing more than a power play, and that's not solid material to build upon.
 

visions

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Pandora said:
I personally feel that this girl is expressing female hypergamy. The guys she does not see a long term future in are the guys that she is aroused by.

They guys who she see a long term future with are the beta types with a nice personality. Marriage type. She would not compromise their respect of her by giving it up too easily. She want these beta types to look at her as a catch im guessing.

you said it yourself. they fvck the alphas while milking the beta's [money]. in some cases women take hypergamy to the extent of making a helpless beta take care of an alpha's spawn.

and lastly, i'd feel very disrespected and disgusted if a female i were dating told me this. she's not girlfriend material. just bang her (if you manage to) and leave it casual.
 

Jitterbug

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See: The Boyfriend Dilemma

http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-get-girls-last-post-youll-ever-need

I'm often told by married or taken women of my acquaintance that I am great boyfriend/husband materials, which gives me nightmares lol. If a woman sees you in that light, you get to wait a very long time for her cookies.

My strategy to deal with this is to put a short time limit on any potential relationship by saying that I'm only in town for so long, or I might move to another state / country / continent in X months. Usually I'd target girls who are only in town for a short period (tourists) or going to move interstate / overseas soon.
 
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