"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Wise Up-men And Women Are Not That Different

Francisco d'Anconia

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The Juan and only said:
The funny thing is, the very tone of your posts suggest you, like everyone, have emotions they must learn to embrace...
It's a bit easier to embrace them if you understand them first.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Obsidian said:
Wow, this post is a sad mix of truth and untruth, which is a dangerous combination. If a woman flakes on you, yes you should NEXT her. But men and women are not the same, not by any stretch of the imagination.
Women would need to be more methodical in the pursuits and men would need to be more emotional in theirs.
 

The Juan and only

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wow, you've got problems. conversation over as far as I'm concerned.
 

The Juan and only

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
It's a bit easier to embrace them if you understand them first.
i never said it wasn't. I'm not arguing against learning to control emotions, or understand the world.

I'm saying that it's ridiculous to say you "don't have any" -- and represents a serious mental disorder infact.


edit: I think I misunderstood what you were saying. even so, post stands.
 

The Juan and only

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actually, i want to know something. what do you think you've got that i don't? i ask, what is the point of living if not for happiness?

don't dodge the question, please.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Mr.Positive

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NickBe said:
You are weak, your emotions make you weak. .
Having emotions does not make you weak, it makes you human. Not being able to control your emotions makes you weak.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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The Juan and only said:
...I'm saying that it's ridiculous to say you "don't have any" ....
People seldom believe what they don't understand.
 
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violator

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Obsidian said:
Wow, this post is a sad mix of truth and untruth, which is a dangerous combination. If a woman flakes on you, yes you should NEXT her. But men and women are not the same, not by any stretch of the imagination.

I never said that we were not different. I meant that we are not THAT different as some people would have us believe with regard to matters pertaining to sexual attraction.
 

reset

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violator said:
I never said that we were not different. I meant that we are not THAT different as some people would have us believe with regard to matters pertaining to sexual attraction.
Still not on board yet. Do men like to be "put in their place" so to speak by a woman? No. Do women like to be "put in their place" (not in a jerk way, but in a direct, "get your act together" way)? Yes.

So much of these interactions seem to be women testing the guy, to see how much he'll put up with, the real man doesn't put up with very much. When the woman sees this she yields, but at the beginning, there are going to be little scenarios she sets up with the deliberate intention of seeing if you'll cave. Not a good or bad thing, just the way it is.

I don't know how many men go out of their way to test girls... again guys just like to go with the flow and have a good time. Much of this board helps the guy do what it is necessary to get to the point that he can do this with women, but he has to be wary of the fun little pitfalls she'll set up for him... which is something guys don't do (unless they are drama queens I suppose).
 

violator

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reset said:
Still not on board yet. Do men like to be "put in their place" so to speak by a woman? No. Do women like to be "put in their place" (not in a jerk way, but in a direct, "get your act together" way)? Yes.

So much of these interactions seem to be women testing the guy, to see how much he'll put up with, the real man doesn't put up with very much. When the woman sees this she yields, but at the beginning, there are going to be little scenarios she sets up with the deliberate intention of seeing if you'll cave. Not a good or bad thing, just the way it is.

I don't know how many men go out of their way to test girls... again guys just like to go with the flow and have a good time. Much of this board helps the guy do what it is necessary to get to the point that he can do this with women, but he has to be wary of the fun little pitfalls she'll set up for him... which is something guys don't do (unless they are drama queens I suppose).
I agree and appreciate much what you are saying, but my point is how many unreturned phone calls or broken dates must a guy endure before he realizes that the girl in question is not testing him nor playing hard to get, but is actually not interested in him?

That is the point of my post. Too many guys here are deluded with this she is testing me or is making me go through hoops. Yes, women test to a certain degree and play games I suppose as a defense mechanism, but only to a point. An interested female will know at what point she needs to stop before she loses the guy and if she is really interested she will not test or play hard to get at all because her emotions will eventually trump her logic.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Interceptor

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Violator, good post.
You are stating some obvious points. That's ok, man.
But you are correct that there are people who really need to let this sink in.
And one of the best pieces of advice when trying to relate or figure out the Whys is to put yourself in the other's shoes.
See it from their perspective.
This is a wise choice.
As there are way too many people that are self absorbed,drunk with their own infatuation and self worship to see another's perspective.
Again, you are correct in that in romantice relationships, we should try to put ourselves in the woman's perspective.
If indeed, she's not attracted, then you can better understandher actions.
That's why it's important ot pay attention to HER IL 's and not yours, unless yours is too high.
We should assume that she's initally attracted to a degree, but we can't go overboard and thinking that she's In Love with us, and that we're In Love with her. Until we know that for a fact.
And I think feeling emotion is a healthy thing.
I feel emotions. But I'm not AFRAID of them. I can fall in Love, and realize that I may get hurt. But I'm not a chickensh*t, and I don't let my emotions control me. Unlike some people.
 

Interceptor

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Mr.Positive said:
Having emotions does not make you weak, it makes you human. Not being able to control your emotions makes you weak.
Excellent!


People are often afraid of things they don;t understand.
And it's simply easier to judge others and put them down when one is looking down at them from one's deluded and snobbish perspecitive.
I think a reality check is sometimes in order.
Down with the High Horses and Ivory Towers.
 

Interceptor

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The Juan and only said:
i never said it wasn't. I'm not arguing against learning to control emotions, or understand the world.

I'm saying that it's ridiculous to say you "don't have any" -- and represents a serious mental disorder infact.



edit: I think I misunderstood what you were saying. even so, post stands.
Good point. Very true.
 

reset

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violator said:
I agree and appreciate much what you are saying, but my point is how many unreturned phone calls or broken dates must a guy endure before he realizes that the girl in question is not testing him nor playing hard to get, but is actually not interested in him?

That is the point of my post. Too many guys here are deluded with this she is testing me or is making me go through hoops. Yes, women test to a certain degree and play games I suppose as a defense mechanism, but only to a point. An interested female will know at what point she needs to stop before she loses the guy and if she is really interested she will not test or play hard to get at all because her emotions will eventually trump her logic.
Well we agree there. I suppose I saw it as "one broken date, one unreturned call" automatically means non-interest. (It DOES mean games, but that's normal).

You are right, a man should not delude himself. When something like this happens he should adjust his game-plan accordingly, judge the action in light of all the other actions he's seen from her...

And if they really are "hoops" he's being asked to jump through, then just move on.
 

rakishness

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Mr.Positive said:
Having emotions does not make you weak, it makes you human. Not being able to control your emotions makes you weak.
Having no emotions does not make more human. It actually makes less human. What makes you more human is using your emotions to their best effect. Robert greene discussed this in his war book. We have to except that humans are part animal. What separates humans from animals is that we can be RATIONAL.

This is a great discussion that I have read about in the 33 strategies of war.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Roulette

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As for men and women being the same, thats not right. Women are emotional creatures. Me I am not emotional, I feel no connection after sex, I do not want to hug or share myself after sex. I just want to give her $50 cab fare and kick her out. I am sure some men do want to hug but not as much as females because they are emotional beings and men are logical.
You sound like some sort of robot. Don't tell me, did you read a book that explained to you, step-by-step, how to be a "real man"?

You're missing out on the best part my friend.

We are the BORG, you will be assimilated. Resistance is futile!

That was a funny. I command you to laugh!

Just joshing with ya mate ;)

Kudos,
Matt
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I remember when I was a tot and I'd hurt myself after falling off a piece of playground equipment. My father would tell me to be a man and walk it off so I did.
 

NickBe

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The Juan and only said:
i never said it wasn't. I'm not arguing against learning to control emotions, or understand the world.

I'm saying that it's ridiculous to say you "don't have any" -- and represents a serious mental disorder infact.


edit: I think I misunderstood what you were saying. even so, post stands.
You are right there, I have a sociopathic personality. I disagree that it is a mental disorder, these days everything is a mental disorder. If anybody is the slightest bit different they are classed as mentally unhealthy. It is just how humans deal with people that are different. I do not deny there are some genuine mental disorders that people suffer from but a person that lacks the ability to feel being called a sociopath is a bit over the top. So what if I have no emotions in a lot of ways I am better off than others.

actually, i want to know something. what do you think you've got that i don't? i ask, what is the point of living if not for happiness?

don't dodge the question, please.
What have I got that you don't? I am not ruled by emotion. I can adapt to my situation and be whoever I want to be. You are bound by emotions, I have freedom.

I stay calm in an emergency, people with emotion almost never do. I do not experience all the bad emotions which honestly these day it seems like there is more of. That means no depression, no real grieving, no living in denial. I am not a slave to my emotions.

I made a lot of money in the past few years and I attribute it all to having no emotion. I was not held back by fear of success which almost everybody with emotions is.

Basically what I am saying is I am not restricted in life in the same way you are. I fit into any social group, I can make friends with anybody and I can control people.

So again i ask is it possible that lacking emotions is actually the next evolutionary step? I mean if I can control people with emotions maybe the lack of emotions actually makes me superior not inferior. Maybe having no real weakness to speak of makes me better off than people with emotions.

As for happiness I told you I experience it but I doubt in the same way you do. When I c*m I feel content, I enjoy a good glass of wine.
 

NickBe

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Roulette said:
You sound like some sort of robot. Don't tell me, did you read a book that explained to you, step-by-step, how to be a "real man"?

You're missing out on the best part my friend.

We are the BORG, you will be assimilated. Resistance is futile!

That was a funny. I command you to laugh!

Just joshing with ya mate ;)

Kudos,
Matt
I did not read any book, I was not involved in the seduction community for the past 6 year. I have what would clinically be called a sociopathic personality. I hate lables though, sociopaths are described as sexual deviants who even sexual abuse children. I don't sexually abuse children, in fact if I ever met somebody who did I would disembowel them without hesitation.

Labels are invented by psychologist who want to rationalize what they see. When somebody lacks emotion they call them a sociopath and mark them as crazy. I think that is bull****, I am not crazy, I am successful.

Anyway I did not read anything from a book I am what I am. It is that simple.
 

The Juan and only

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comments in bold.

NickBe said:
What have I got that you don't? I am not ruled by emotion. I can adapt to my situation and be whoever I want to be. You are bound by emotions, I have freedom.

what's the point of having freedom if it doesn't make you happy?

I stay calm in an emergency, people with emotion almost never do. I do not experience all the bad emotions which honestly these day it seems like there is more of. That means no depression, no real grieving, no living in denial. I am not a slave to my emotions.

well you're changing your tune. So now you do have some emotions? just good ones, and you've learnt to control the bad ones (depression)? like i've been saying I support all along, you mean?

I made a lot of money in the past few years and I attribute it all to having no emotion. I was not held back by fear of success which almost everybody with emotions is.

what's the point of money if not to bring you happiness?

Basically what I am saying is I am not restricted in life in the same way you are. I fit into any social group, I can make friends with anybody and I can control people.

well you certainly have desires, don't you? most of which I would class as egomaniacal. Am I not allowed to have my own desires too, without being called weak or stupid? Also, again, what's the point of friends if they don't bring joy to your life?

So again i ask is it possible that lacking emotions is actually the next evolutionary step? I mean if I can control people with emotions maybe the lack of emotions actually makes me superior not inferior. Maybe having no real weakness to speak of makes me better off than people with emotions.

As for happiness I told you I experience it but I doubt in the same way you do. When I c*m I feel content, I enjoy a good glass of wine.

oh right? so you do have emotions? just different ones to me [blind, baseless statement]; or do you in fact not, as you stated so adamantly in a previous post? I'm confused.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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