Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Dunno about everyone else but in a way I agree with this - you have to time it so it's not such short notice she's made other plans, and not too long that there's a chance of her forgetting (not that forgetting is very respectful or enthusiastic, mind. Perhaps that in itself is a good test of her interest?) or it kind of getting vague.JPlaya said:I don't expect her to remember a week in advance
You don't expect her to remember a week out in advance. That's understandable and all,but what about YOU and your memory? A week is a long time.JPlaya said:I don't expect her to remember a week in advance
JPlaya said:I'm telling her that I'm picking her up at this and you better be in something sexy cause I'm paying for your meal.
Aren't you the same dude who made some thread about how you're never going to ask a girl out by texting again? Well how come you're against using texting to ask a girl out,but when it comes to communicating with her AFTER she says yes,you revert back to it?JPlaya said:Ya, but this girl is always busy lol. I also tested her three days after I asked her and she still remembered, so that can be a plus
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
sorry I don't trust her. If some girl asked me out and she didn't confirm it the day of than I wouldn't show upSparky said:On refelction I agree with the above posts. Book the bloody date, DONT remind her, turn up. If she doesn't turn up, forget it. Perhaps make yourself a back up plan in the meantime, so you don't waste your evening if she doesn't show. But if she does show, that shows you a good sign of interest from her. And respect, reliability, good memory etc. it's a good start.
Pretty girl asks me out on a date one week in advance you can bet I won't forget it.
mahoney said:why don't you trust her? this is ridiculous
if you have booked a certain concrete specific time - then she will turn up. why, between now and then, are you obsessed with texting every day to make sure she's still going to show up? Every time you text saying "are you still coming" its a massive display or insecurity, needyness and lack of confidence
in a forum of needy overtexters, you are actually the worst one of all. if you must text her , please dont text "are you still coming" or "did you remember" or "just to remind you", if you really can't cope without a text, then text something CONCRETE instead of this vague wishy-washy "hey" crap you always text. text "ok so i'll pick you up at 6.30" - but only ONLY if you haven't already confirmed that you are going to pick her up at 6.30. if you have already agreed this, then a text is really unecessary
you are a weak, needy, fragile little creature - you should be trying to hide this from her, not confirm it with every little text
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.