She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Dunno about everyone else but in a way I agree with this - you have to time it so it's not such short notice she's made other plans, and not too long that there's a chance of her forgetting (not that forgetting is very respectful or enthusiastic, mind. Perhaps that in itself is a good test of her interest?) or it kind of getting vague.JPlaya said:I don't expect her to remember a week in advance
You don't expect her to remember a week out in advance. That's understandable and all,but what about YOU and your memory? A week is a long time.JPlaya said:I don't expect her to remember a week in advance
JPlaya said:I'm telling her that I'm picking her up at this and you better be in something sexy cause I'm paying for your meal.
Aren't you the same dude who made some thread about how you're never going to ask a girl out by texting again? Well how come you're against using texting to ask a girl out,but when it comes to communicating with her AFTER she says yes,you revert back to it?JPlaya said:Ya, but this girl is always busy lol. I also tested her three days after I asked her and she still remembered, so that can be a plus
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
sorry I don't trust her. If some girl asked me out and she didn't confirm it the day of than I wouldn't show upSparky said:On refelction I agree with the above posts. Book the bloody date, DONT remind her, turn up. If she doesn't turn up, forget it. Perhaps make yourself a back up plan in the meantime, so you don't waste your evening if she doesn't show. But if she does show, that shows you a good sign of interest from her. And respect, reliability, good memory etc. it's a good start.
Pretty girl asks me out on a date one week in advance you can bet I won't forget it.
mahoney said:why don't you trust her? this is ridiculous
if you have booked a certain concrete specific time - then she will turn up. why, between now and then, are you obsessed with texting every day to make sure she's still going to show up? Every time you text saying "are you still coming" its a massive display or insecurity, needyness and lack of confidence
in a forum of needy overtexters, you are actually the worst one of all. if you must text her , please dont text "are you still coming" or "did you remember" or "just to remind you", if you really can't cope without a text, then text something CONCRETE instead of this vague wishy-washy "hey" crap you always text. text "ok so i'll pick you up at 6.30" - but only ONLY if you haven't already confirmed that you are going to pick her up at 6.30. if you have already agreed this, then a text is really unecessary
you are a weak, needy, fragile little creature - you should be trying to hide this from her, not confirm it with every little text
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.