"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Will I ever achieve my dream of being a DJ? Not in this lifetime.
- Thread starter Viper
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Viper
Banned
Hell yeah, hot girls that play music, I love music, I love playing music, I like the songs we play, I like marching, yes I do like band.
You played French Horn? That's a sissy instrument. lol. Well not really, but here in Kentucky, the only french horns I know, are all sissies. lol. They are gay, but I guess you wouldn't be gay, if you are a DJ.
I played baritone, and we were the manly section. I never became that high a chair, though I was the best. lol. I didn't have enough confidence at the time, to score a really high chair.
I was in band, and we only had like 40 people, then I moved. Now we have 20, and I still go on band competitions, and I know I can pull any chick in my band, of course we only have like 20 - 30 people, and I am not sure really of the amount, but we are really small.
Seriously, band is the reason I am the DJ that I am. Such confidence. Just stick it through, and start hanging out with your section more. Become really good friends with all of them.
familyguyfan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2005
- Messages
- 551
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Quit giving us all this BS about you not having time for any of the stuff we tell you to do. In your original post, you yourself admit that when you're not in school or at band, you sit on your ass at home all day. Why don't you use all that wasted time and actually get up and do some of the things we tell you.
How do you know those kids wouldn't be interested in doing anything if you don't ask them. It's worth a shot. You have nowhere to go but up.
Girl friends are fine, but here us when we say that GUY FRIENDS ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE! Doesn't matter who you are. It's true for all guys except gay ones.
And you can't keep doubting yourself about your personality. Every teen questions their place in life, but don't go telling yourself you're a boring person. If you think you're boring then other people will definitely think you're boring. Prove to them, and yourself that you aren't boring, and are fun.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I have nothing else to say here for now. Take my advice and do it.
Free choice is the power...you have shackles on yourself and you have the key..
Viper
Banned
Well, I do have guy friends, but while they cheer me on and say "What's up" to me, I can tell they don't think of me as one of the guys. Well, school's back again tommorow guys and I'm going to try some of this stuff out. My goal is going to be to atleast approach 20 chicks, no numbers because I don't really expect the convos to great, nor for them to really become interested in me, but I'm going to approach them. There are a couple of girls in band(Which is first period everyday) I have in mind already, this girl named jaquie, really hot blonde girl, this girl named Roxanne, who I've already talked about and this short girl named Jill, she's a senior, average looks and body. I really hate doing this, but yes, I'm going to do it, I know the conversations will suck and I'll look like a real geek, but I'm going to take it like a man. I expect most of them to go like this:
As you can see, I'm very bad at building rapport, building connections with people.
Also, can you guys analyze why this girl seemed freaked out when I approached her? This approach from a good year ago, but I'm still wondering:
I might get rejected alot tommorow, I might look like a dumbass tommorow infront of an HB 9, but I don't care, because if anything, it will be a good learning experience.
Watch out ladies, because tommorow, the Mike man aint takin' **** from nobody, not even HB9's.
I think the girl in that convo felt kind awkward cus "you gotta name?" is not something you hear everyday (at least I don't). It sounds kinda...iono...corny. Just ask her what her name is and ask her how she's doin and stuff.
Also, I don't hear "I don't believe we've met yet" alot. Maybe it's different over there in Ohio, but you might wanna consider reading up on "teenage language". Saying things so proper makes you seem like an old man
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Viper
Banned
Yeah, I'll come back to tommorow and tell you how I approached a girl, got her name, then said "Well, see ya later", because I couldn't think of anything else to talk about after I got her name. Oh yeah and this school is also full of chicks who will act nice to you when you approach them and then talk **** about how "Hah, did that loser really think he could get me?" with their friends, but I won't let that bring me down.
Viper
Banned
Definitely trying this out.
Also, if I get a good convo started and a girl straight bores me with her one word answers, I'm just flat out saying "I'm sorry girl, but I'm not going to lie to you, but you are one of the most boring girls I've ever met.".
Viper
Banned
Hah, now there's a proper way to introduce yourself? I just want to introduce myself, how I say it shouldn't matter.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16186
This is actually the first one that I read, that I thought, "Mike could really use that information."
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16903
Be a Man!!! Obviously you need to read this one. It's a life saver.
And read everything in the conversation section. I am glad that I picked up my copy of the family bible, because now that I am a DJ, I am applying some tactics, just for the hell of it.
Remember, I used to be in the same exact position as you.
I mean I had friends that were like, "Hey, what's up?", but then I would go back to being left out, and kind of a tag along, that wasn't really contributing.
Contribute to your possy. Bring something special to the group. I brought my knowledge of Final Fantasy, Computers, and Martial Arts, to the group. I was respected, and valued as a member.
Especially focus on that first article. It is just what you need.
I'll say this though: saying "I'm sorry girl, but I'm not going to lie to you, but you are one of the most boring girls I've ever met" is not a good idea if you have a "loser" reputation at school. They'll just think you're being mean
Viper
Banned
I know a couple of soccer players that have to sometime miss games because of practice, football players that are in band and football that have to come out during half time show and play in their uniform, don't know about the rest of them.Originally posted by arutha
Umm... The others manage sports and stuff as well as the band so they can't do band on weekend with you, but you somehow can't fit extra stuff in?
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.