Wife is leaving my friend due to his chronic illness. Seems pretty heartless

RickTheToad

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Just spent a few hours with a good friend, and I still just cannot believe the situation. Certainly makes me wonder if some ladies even have empathy at all. They were together for nine years, married for four of them. She knew well in advance of marriage, that he had some chronic illnesses. He had a few herniated discs, degenerative disc disease, irritable bowel syndrome and suffers from chronic migraines. Yet, looking at him, you'd never know he's in a lot of pain. Always seemed to make good money, no financial issues, took care of her when she had some medical issues, etc. He even said, she told him after he disclosed this info to her so she had an out that she'd never leave him. I guess the last year or so has been rough on him medical wise. He said he's had more flareups, and he would just retreat into the bedroom until it passes. She moved into the guest bedroom and yes, you guessed it, sex slowed. They stopped trying for kids, and she even made him wear condoms when the times she was intimate with him. She said she cannot be with him anymore as it hurts her too much to see him in pain and wants a divorce. The guy is in shambles.

I still cannot believe what I heard. What's the point of marriage if you cannot count on the person to have your back when your at your low point in life?
 
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backseatjuan

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Marriage by it's virtue is a contract and contracts are created between betas and women. It's not his illness I can guarantee you that, it's the way he acted with her once married, it's his fall back beta mommy seeking self. No kids is another thing, all fine and dandy with contract between beta and a woman until she finds out he can't get her pregnant, another big minus for her. I can guarantee you this, if you get married and find out through time that your wife can't bare children, you'd test your dck first, and once you find out you are fine, you are going to divorce her. Your biggest question to your friend, why the fck no children man, how come.
 
R

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This is quite common. It’s not necessarily heartless but I understand it. I would not want to be on the receiving end of that.

This is solipsism in action. Of course she doesn’t necessarily want to abandon him. Her drive is to find the most optimum survival that she is capable of obtaining. As his condition worsened and became more degenerative she needed to bounce.

Yes. Even if she knew ahead of time.

In her version, it would be something along the lines of “I’m wasting my life away.”
But that reasoning would come after becoming attracted to or being with other men.
 

RickTheToad

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I asked the same, he was checked, he can have kids. Maybe it's her stuff that's not working? He even said, she's no caretaker, he takes care of himself, she doesn't do or assist with any medical things. He said he never asked as he didn't want to burden her with his stuff. He still works and pays the bills, so not sure.
 
R

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I asked the same, he was checked, he can have kids. Maybe it's her stuff that's not working? He even said, she's no caretaker, he takes care of himself, she doesn't do or assist with any medical things. He said he never asked as he didn't want to burden her with his stuff. He still works and pays the bills, so not sure.
I understand. I feel for the man. It’s horrible what’s happening to him. She was obviously an anchor for him. This would be one of a man’s deepest fears. To be injured at work or an accident and then abandoned.

Her offspring would need to be healthy. This is outside her control. Her drive would be to jump to a man who could give her healthy children.
 
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Who Dares Win

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I believe this is a spinup of the war brides phenomenon, they mate with the strongest guy possible and a sick guy surely doesnt qualify to their deep brain when it comes of that.

That would be different if they already had kids and she could use his money.
 

eli77

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something happen to John machines ex wife that sucks
 

RickTheToad

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I believe this is a spinup of the war brides phenomenon, they mate with the strongest guy possible and a sick guy surely doesnt qualify to their deep brain when it comes of that.

That would be different if they already had kids and she could use his money.
He has plenty of money and resources. They even have a pre-nup, so she's not getting anything. Very strange. His issues are defective, it was because of an accident or something. It wouldn't pass down to a child. Some days I see him, he's at 100. Others, not so much. I guess it depends on if he has an attack or not.

These stories concern me to think if I was hit by a bus or was shot/stabbed, would my lady stick by me whether I was in an LTR or marriage? 10-15 years ago, wouldn't have to second guess. Now, I am not so sure.
 
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These stories concern me to think if I was hit by a bus or was shot/stabbed, would my lady stick by me whether I was in an LTR or marriage? 10-15 years ago, wouldn't have to second guess. Now, I am not so sure.
You would be very wise to re-evaluate this. If there is a VA hospital near you, go take a visit.
Heartbreaking to see men dumped after being seriously injured.
It will
Make you very angry for a spell. There is no mercy when it comes to breeding.
 
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RickTheToad

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You would be very wise to re-evaluate this. If there is a VA hospital near you, go take a visit.
Heartbreaking to see men dumped after being seriously injured.
It will
Make you very angry for a spell. There is no mercy when it comes to breeding.
So I ask you, aside from sexual pleasure and procreation, what do the sexes need each other for? Has this what people have come down to? Just fun and offspring? I thank God that I am not in this position, and I've never had to lean on anyone aside from myself. Have we just become a hookup, pop-out and repeat culture now? That's a pretty horrible way of being for us all.
 

stevieLA

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I still cannot believe what I heard. What's the point of marriage if you cannot count on the person to have your back when your at your low point in life?
Half of all marriages end in divorce in the US. He had to have known that. Most divorces are initiated by women. All of marriage law is designed to disenfranchise men and allow women to rob them.
 
R

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So I ask you, aside from sexual pleasure and procreation, what do the sexes need each other for? Has this what people have come down to? Just fun and offspring? I thank God that I am not in this position, and I've never had to lean on anyone aside from myself. Have we just become a hookup, pop-out and repeat culture now? That's a pretty horrible way of being for us all.
I don’t think it wants to be pop in / pop out.
I think that it’s the way it is.

It’s difficult to see things through the fog. I’ve already told the story about my grandmother when she was a teenager during the depression. It was going on then. It’s always been going on.

There’s a social veneer hanging over it where you can get glimpses of it. But the veneer is there for a good reason. A very good reason. There needs to be plausible deniability with the breeding habits of women. They really aren’t being evil. But from the lens of how we were taught how the world is, is much different than the reality that truly exists.

So which is the right reality? The one we hold or held dear at one time or even now in many cases or is it that world of severe breeding selection that is barbaric from a passive man’s viewpoint?
 
R

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These things conflict with our conditioning. This IS the feminine imperative. The most successful breeding strategy for warm blooded bipeds ever.

It is crushing in some respects because those visions and conditionings give men hope. A very sad hope. Women have zero control over who they feel attracted to. It just happens.

Her idea of “picky” isn’t really “picky” it’s a set of markers that when displayed by a man, activate her attraction. That’s all. It can be measured and recorded. When you look at who she’s seeing and fukking...it will make sense. Some men will even think, “why am I working out so hard?” Or “Why am I taking good care of my mind and body? Look at that hammerhead she’s seeing!!!”
Well you should be doing it for you. That’s what that means. He is displaying the markers for breeding fitness.
 
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markfromeurope

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Interesting thread - I have irritable bowel syndrome (quite mild/managed version of it) and you can live with it easily once you know what trigger flares up - however - once woman understands what it is (it's impossible to cure) your SMV in her eyes drops considerably. I know from the experience.

It's like with Robert Greene's laws of power - IBS is classified under "good reputation" in woman's eyes.

Once she knows you have it, there's no coming back from loss of reputation (she will Google it and read multiple times, again and again, that's uncurable)

Never phucking admit to it at any stage od dating.

Woman's "Is everything ok?" means actually "Are you healthy? Do I need to sh.it test you to oblivion?" Moreover more mean woman will stress test you in order to keep power over you (stress is IBS trigger).

They say its ok. Then they leave. No contact won't work on hotter chicks if you have IBS. Field tested.

It's nothing. It's stomach flu. That's my answers to every woman I will date from now on.
 
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AttackFormation

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I don't think it makes sense for her to know he has chronic illnesses, still say she won't leave him and then do it anyway. But on the other hand I am not confused by it either. She acts on what she feels in the moment. She may truly have meant it all those years back, in that moment.

However, I think at some point leaving someone with chronic illnesses makes sense. I don't blame her for that in itself, just the way she did it. She shouldn't have gotten with him in the first place or at least acknowledged there's no guarantee she's staying. At the end of the day you are with someone because you want to be with them, if the person changes irreconcilably from what you wanted in the first place and you would never have gotten with them in their current condition, I think leaving in a tactful and responsible way makes sense.
 

speed dawg

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This is typical female sh*t right here. Textbook. Haha, she even put it back on him, said she couldn't bear to see him in pain. Legit LOL.

You see it all the time, men go off to fight in war and their wives cheat on them. It's their nature.

I hate it for the guy, I really do. But the answer here is to up his game. He can't feel sorry for himself. She's not leaving him because of his condition, she's leaving him because she doesn't respect him anymore.
 
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