Why would anyone join Tinder just to make friends?

[Drmuscular]

My two cents here on the main topic of the thread: They either want a beta (friends first) or a ****buddy and your objective is to go for a cheap date and identify quickly what she wants and proceed accordingly, if they are unwilling to meet they are just looking for attention. Very simple.

For the little I have read of OP, you do really need some professional help or something to get your confidence back up if you are "afraid" of speaking to women, that is just not normal, specially if you are working out. Like mentally there is something wrong with YOU, its not working out, its not the women, its YOU bro, if your autism impairs you this much you need professional help, you might have depression, all I'm seeing is you blaming everything and talking about everything yet not DOING anything nor looking at YOURSELF.

 

[GoodMan32]

My two cents here on the main topic of the thread: They either want a beta (friends first) or a ****buddy and your objective is to go for a cheap date and identify quickly what she wants and proceed accordingly, if they are unwilling to meet they are just looking for attention. Very simple.

For the little I have read of OP, you do really need some professional help or something to get your confidence back up if you are "afraid" of speaking to women, that is just not normal, specially if you are working out. Like mentally there is something wrong with YOU, its not working out, its not the women, its YOU bro, if your autism impairs you this much you need professional help, you might have depression, all I'm seeing is you blaming everything and talking about everything yet not DOING anything nor looking at YOURSELF.

Insightful post.

At an organized singles event once, a woman complained about men on apps supposedly never wanting to meet up.

I was shocked to hear her say that. Typically it's the dudes complaining that the gals on apps don't want to meet up.

I'm in counseling.

It's really something how I have no problem flirting with/simping for more than one married woman in my office building, yet asking out a single woman (who I actually might have a chance with) is a crippling phobia (unless she's from, say, an app or an organized singles event, where I'm highly unlikely to ever cross paths with her again after a possible rejection)

 

[CornbreadFed]

You can ask him for a picture…

Then you must be some giga-advanced level bad lol. If you look like Quasimodo then just stick to pay to play or captain save a 304, otherwise I would seek therapy.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Then you must be some giga-advanced level bad lol. If you look like Quasimodo then just stick to pay to play or captain save a 304, otherwise I would seek therapy.

Did you ask for one?

 

[GoodMan32]

Then you must be some giga-advanced level bad lol. If you look like Quasimodo then just stick to pay to play or captain save a 304, otherwise I would seek therapy.

I'm guessing you meant to reply to my post (where I answered your question of my ethnicity)

I don't get where the idea comes from that White men have it made sexually. While I admit the most highly sought after men tend to be White, those men make up a small percentage of White men. Not every White man is Brad Pitt or Tom Brady.

Hell, there are lots of White incels. The incel community is mainly made up of White men, East Asian men, and South Asian men. And many of the East Asian/South Asian incels weren't even born here (so it's to be expected an immigrant from a totally foreign culture on the other end of the planet would struggle sexually). As far as the American-born population goes, White men dominate the incel community.

In any case, for me (and I'm guessing for a lot of White incels), my phobia is holding me back more than my looks. I use apps and organized singles events because of how terrified I am to try my luck with a woman I know.

The humiliation that comes from potentially letting a woman find out I mistook her niceness for interest certainly plays a role in my phobia. But the phobia goes deeper. Even if I know for a fact the woman is into me, I still might sideline myself.

For example, back in 2022, I found out through the grapevine a female coworker was into me. Even though I was attracted to her, I never acted on the intel about her being into me. Why? Because "into me" is a vague term.

Did she want me to ask her on a date?

Did she want casual sex?

Or perhaps she's simply physically attracted to me, yet had no desire to get involved with me.

So rather than risk embarrassing myself by making the "wrong" choice, I sidelined myself.

This is why I wish the woman would make the choice for me.

And before one specific poster who's seen what I look like tells me my looks are nothing special, I'm aware I (even if I got over my phobia) couldn't get the sheer abundance as Tom Brady or Brad Pitt. All I'm saying is I at least would have gotten free sex more recently than 4 years ago if it weren't for my crippling phobia.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I don't get where the idea comes from that White men have it made sexually. While I admit the most highly sought after men tend to be White, those men make up a small percentage of White men. Not every White man is Brad Pitt or Tom Brady.

Hell, there are lots of White incels. The incel community is mainly made up of White men, East Asian men, and South Asian men. And many of the East Asian/South Asian incels weren't even born here (so it's to be expected an immigrant from a totally foreign culture on the other end of the planet would struggle sexually). As far as the American-born population goes, White men dominate the incel community.

Because these white incels have terrible attitudes & personalities that dry up a woman's panties in milliseconds. All these guys have to do is act normal and somewhat interesting and they will easily graduate from an incel. In addition, it is much easier for a white guy to date across racial lines than his POC counterpart. With POC incels, it is a different battle & story and requires more complicated measures and effort.

That is why my answer to you is to seek therapy because you seem to have some inner demons in you killing your game with women.

 

[corrector]

With POC incels, it is a different battle & story and requires more complicated measures and effort.

Please elaborate.

I used to think that as a POC is more difficult to get a decent escort because some of them might be racists. But then when I hear of our counterpart white incel also needs to have a "last resort" escort (ie a thing I would thought a POC incel would need if they got rejected by a racist escort, etc...), it turns out that even white incels could have trouble booking the right lady. There are escorts that see POC clients so we can't say that POC-incels are absolute incels if they can buy themselves out of it.

There are also now passport bros, who are visiting other countries to look for women too...many of the same reason their white counterpart incels were doing for years before that.

 

[corrector]

The humiliation that comes from potentially letting a woman find out I mistook her niceness for interest certainly plays a role in my phobia.

The lady, at work, where I mistook her niceness and got a soft rejection by her, it turns out her work permit expired and she is back in her home country. Sometimes things happen these types of women end up leaving your social circle. Either way, I still think I made up a nice parasocial relationship with her anyway after the "rejection", it's amazing what you can do with youtube videos and playlsits to drown out real life noise or filter them in a more palatable way.

 

[Clockwerk50]

 

[GoodMan32]

Because these white incels have terrible attitudes & personalities that dry up a woman's panties in milliseconds. All these guys have to do is act normal and somewhat interesting and they will easily graduate from an incel. In addition, it is much easier for a white guy to date across racial lines than his POC counterpart. With POC incels, it is a different battle & story and requires more complicated measures and effort.

That is why my answer to you is to seek therapy because you seem to have some inner demons in you killing your game with women.

Yeah, crossing racial lines hasn't really been a problem for me. I've been with around 30 partners total (I've lost count). Of my 9 free sex partners, however:

4 were White
3 were Latina
1 was Native American
1 looked ethnically ambiguous (my guess is she was a cross between Latina and White)

Then the story I've shared on the forum before where (after a first date when I was 21) a woman ended naked in my bed with a soaked cooch, only for me to decline sex, she was Latina.

I'm going to counseling.

There have been instances where a woman lost interest in me extremely quickly. So I totally acknowledge I could be doing something wrong.

Another part of the problem though is that I'm (to a large degree) simply afraid to play the game.

If I'm being honest, it grosses me out to think a lot of the partners I've been with were probably with several other men the same day she fvcked me.

I'd love nothing more than to get my own personal cooch. But with the amount of humiliating rejections I'd likely endure before finally getting my own personal free cooch, I'm willing to simply use my shortcut to get cooch (even if it means having to tolerate the gross factor of sharing a cooch with hundreds of other men)

 

[GoodMan32]

The lady, at work, where I mistook her niceness and got a soft rejection by her, it turns out her work permit expired and she is back in her home country. Sometimes things happen these types of women end up leaving your social circle. Either way, I still think I made up a nice parasocial relationship with her anyway after the "rejection", it's amazing what you can do with youtube videos and playlsits to drown out real life noise or filter them in a more palatable way.

Which circles back to a question you asked me once: If I knew I was about to get laid off, would I shoot my shot around my office building?

To which the answer is: Absolutely.

View attachment 14348

I'm a legend. I have memes about me now.

 

[corrector]

(even if it means having to tolerate the gross factor of sharing a cooch with hundreds of other men)

There is that. That is why, my past behaviour indicates I rather just subscribe to an escort's OF and play her video on a VR-headset, in the shower, while in bed, or in some other configeration, and create a simulation that feels personal enough that there is a "wow" factor without feeling grossed out. I don't know how you can handle that level of gross without puking and losing your mind. That is a very jarring aspect.
The OnlyFans has been in the past rather blissful that the experience with the virtual imagery comes to mind at odd times even though I've stopped it. (ie remembering an escort's company while being in a nasty traffic jam and enjoying the memory).

 

[BaronOfHair]

Obvious explantion:

We're in the midst of a "Lonliness Epidemic", and the motivated and resourceful are exploiting every avenue at their disposable to ease their pain

 

[Clockwerk50]

I'm a legend. I have memes about me now.

I admit, one thing you are good at is reading between the lines famous for the wrong reasons.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Please elaborate.

I used to think that as a POC is more difficult to get a decent escort because some of them might be racists. But then when I hear of our counterpart white incel also needs to have a "last resort" escort (ie a thing I would thought a POC incel would need if they got rejected by a racist escort, etc...), it turns out that even white incels could have trouble booking the right lady. There are escorts that see POC clients so we can't say that POC-incels are absolute incels if they can buy themselves out of it.

There are also now passport bros, who are visiting other countries to look for women too...many of the same reason their white counterpart incels were doing for years before that.

The difference between you and your white counterpart is that he has to look like Quasimodo where you can look like a reasonably attractive poc.

 

[GoodMan32]

My autistic female coworker is dropping more and more IOIs.

It sucks how my crippling phobia of shooting my shot with a woman I actually know causes me to relegate myself to apps and organized singles events.

You have no idea how badly I wanted to bang on my desk while yelling at the top of my lungs today (out of frustration at how much my phobia holds me back)

It's a continuous negative feedback loop: I won't shoot my shot with anyone I actually know, because I'm afraid they might reject me. So I shoot my shot with strangers (who are far more likely to reject)

 

[corrector]

My autistic female coworker is dropping more and more IOIs.

It sucks how my crippling phobia of shooting my shot with a woman I actually know causes me to relegate myself to apps and organized singles events.

You have no idea how badly I wanted to bang on my desk while yelling at the top of my lungs today (out of frustration at how much my phobia holds me back)

It's a continuous negative feedback loop: I won't shoot my shot with anyone I actually know, because I'm afraid they might reject me. So I shoot my shot with strangers (who are far more likely to reject)

Interedting. If that same girl offered to rent herself for $300,.it would be easier to ask for a date?

 

[GoodMan32]

Interedting. If that same girl offered to rent herself for $300,.it would be easier to ask for a date?

A lot easier.

She wouldn't even have to advertise sex. If she so much as advertised she'd go on a dinner date for $300, my nervousness of asking her out would evaporate.

And here's the real kicker: If this hypothetical scenario we're describing were to happen, there's a high chance sex would occur out of her own desire. Because my pressure to impress her would go away (which would end up making me act more impressive)

The scenario I just described is really no different than expensive dinner dates where the man drops $300 on the dinner bill (and ends up getting sex). The only difference is that in this scenario, the woman is honest upfront about wanting you to drop $300 on her.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I saw a self-described autistic girl's profile on Feeld today. It said "no hookups". told you to swipe left if you weren't a radical leftist, and she wants you to spoil her with good food and oil changes, while mentioning that reciprocity=access. She's offering nothing while on a hookup/kink site. Oh, but she is "vanilla with sprinkles" in the bedroom and mentions she has HSV.

 

[GoodMan32]

I saw a self-described autistic girl's profile on Feeld today. It said "no hookups". told you to swipe left if you weren't a radical leftist, and she wants you to spoil her with good food and oil changes, while mentioning that reciprocity=access. she's offering nothing while on a hookup/kink site.

I'm pretty sure I came across the same girl's profile on Feeld