Why would anyone join Tinder just to make friends?

[Clockwerk50]

@Serenity @BackInTheGame78 @Dr.Suave

If working out is a core pillar of becoming more attractive and desirable, wouldn’t a member insisting it’s unnecessary, like OP, who claims he’s too exhausted and that fitness won’t improve his dating chances, be spreading misinformation? The progression has always been like this: working out → more attractive → more desirable → more opportunities with high-interest women.

OP seems to believe that working out won’t move the needle for him and repeatedly uses life circumstances as fixed, insurmountable excuses rather than challenges to manage. Now we are discussing escorts.

With the amount of posts attributed to OP and his character, isn’t this just trauma dumping and negativity disguised as discussion?

Does this not lower the quality of the forum?

He has been banned from other forums like Quora. Is this the reason why?

Shouldn’t this be considered for removal?

 

[MatureDJ]

4. I wouldn’t take the rating those women gave you at a face value. A lot of women will rate you kindly just to avoid conflict or awkward situations. Women have developed social strategies to defuse potential threats because men are physically stronger. I would take the rating Wheat Waffles gave you, which is a 4.

If Wheat Waffles says you're a 4, then a Pinoy is your only hope.

 

[MatureDJ]

Counseling is a double-edged sword. I've heard your take on counseling before (a counselor doesn't want us to succeed, as then they'd lose a customer)

It's more complicated than that though. While it's true they'll lose our business if we succeed, a counselor also runs the risk of losing our business if they're clearly a terrible counselor.

I quit a counselor after only a few sessions in 2023, for example, because her approach was to throw me into the deep end right away (and because she'd go on irrelevant tangents when I'd mention what led me to develop my fear of rejection, the main purpose of why I sought out counseling)

My current counselor, on the other hand, has the approach of "practice with floaties in the shallow section of the pool before moving to the deep end"

I'd say my current counselor's approach is working. After about a month of going to my current counselor, I managed to get a mini-date after an organized singles event. Additionally, I'm becoming more and more comfortable flirting (even if some on this forum refer to my specific flirts as simping)

As for your claim I'm unattractive, that's where we disagree. I'm extremely vocal on here about my adamance that I'm a 6-7.

The ratings I got on a rating website where you can set it up so that you only get ratings from female raters beg to differ with you.

The woman from a different office in my office building who (within the past 6 months) called me an 8 begs to differ.

The female employee in my condo building who gave me my last free sex begs to differ (she apparently wanted me badly enough to put her job on the line to fvck me)

The female coworker who drew a flirtatious picture of me (and then gave me the picture) when I was 28 begs to differ.

The married woman who repeatedly drove 45 minutes just to fvck me begs to differ.

The girl I had 2 dates with from OkCupid in college, who rated me an 8 and a half, begs to differ.

Hell, even @BeExcellent, despite her badgering me about the fact I don't work out, has said on a post that I have decent looks (and she's seen what I look like)

While I won't show my picture on the public forum, I've shared a realistic AI-generated image of me on the forum before (for extra measure, I'm even going to throw in another realistic AI-generated image of me this time). The fact you call me unatttactive when you don't even know what I look like (you just saw some body shots on a thread) is something else:

View attachment 14332 View attachment 14333

Then here's an AI-generated image I've shared on the forum before of a looksmatch woman (she's not based on any specific woman; just a general looksmatch):

View attachment 14334

If it weren't for the abundance a woman has, I'd be dating a woman in that looks tier.

If this is representative of your face, then being 6' as well should be enough to be "boy band cute" (but not good enough for that chick).

 

[BPH]

He has been banned from other forums like Quora. Is this the reason why?

How does one even get banned from Quora?

 

[corrector]

It's OVER for PoorTimelessCels.

It's called poor cells. If you are taking such a job that means you are poor in the first place. A job should be able to lift people out of poverty rather than make poverty less harsh.

 

[Clockwerk50]

How does one even get banned from Quora?

My bad. He had a conflict with another member/enemy on Quora due to some controversial stuff, and he was about to get doxed. So he deleted his account and came here after that.

 

[corrector]

@Serenity @BackInTheGame78 @Dr.Suave

If working out is a core pillar of becoming more attractive and desirable, wouldn’t a member insisting it’s unnecessary, like OP, who claims he’s too exhausted and that fitness won’t improve his dating chances, be spreading misinformation? The progression has always been like this: working out → more attractive → more desirable → more opportunities with high-interest women.

OP seems to believe that working out won’t move the needle for him and repeatedly uses life circumstances as fixed, insurmountable excuses rather than challenges to manage. Now we are discussing escorts.

With the amount of posts attributed to OP and his character, isn’t this just trauma dumping and negativity disguised as discussion?

Does this not lower the quality of the forum?

He has been banned from other forums like Quora. Is this the reason why?

Shouldn’t this be considered for removal?

He is too exhausted because he has a full-time job.

Why don't you just make the suggestion that he quits his job.

Or you can't do that because that would make you look bad.

But isn't that the type of drastic solutions you that would go somewhere?

 

[Clockwerk50]

He is too exhausted because he has a full-time job.

Why don't you just make the suggestion that he quits his job.

Or you can't do that because that would make you look bad.

But isn't that the type of drastic solutions you that would go somewhere?

Bro, seriously? What kind of man is this? Do you think everyone that works full time is not tired after the shift ends? The gym is full of people who are just as exhausted, why do you think the gym is packed after 5:00 pm?

What lazy ass excuse. The reason he doesn’t want to go is because he believes “his looks aren’t the reason he’s failing with women”. He thinks he is a 7 when he is a 4.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

10 bucks says OP asked the escort to rate his looks. Any takers?

 

[Doctor Europeo]

@Serenity @BackInTheGame78 @Dr.Suave

If working out is a core pillar of becoming more attractive and desirable, wouldn’t a member insisting it’s unnecessary, like OP, who claims he’s too exhausted and that fitness won’t improve his dating chances, be spreading misinformation? The progression has always been like this: working out → more attractive → more desirable → more opportunities with high-interest women.

OP seems to believe that working out won’t move the needle for him and repeatedly uses life circumstances as fixed, insurmountable excuses rather than challenges to manage. Now we are discussing escorts.

With the amount of posts attributed to OP and his character, isn’t this just trauma dumping and negativity disguised as discussion?

Does this not lower the quality of the forum?

He has been banned from other forums like Quora. Is this the reason why?

Shouldn’t this be considered for removal?

Thank you for voicing your concerns, I appreciate that. I will bring the matter up with the rest of the Mods.

 

[Isildur1]

Means she’s interested in you but doesn’t want to be used for a quick hook up that’s all

 

[GoodMan32]

How does one even get banned from Quora?

There are a number of reasons one can get banned from Quora.

I've seen users get banned for being bots, posting too much sexually explicit content outside of designated adult spaces, posting copyrighted content (and falsely passing it off as their own), etc.

As for me? I didn't get banned from Quora. I see @Clockwerk50 has sense corrected himself on why I left Quora.

I was already a member on SoSuave at the time of my Quora war. But I began posting on SoSuave more often after leaving Quora.

Leaving Quora, even if I had to be coerced into deleting my account, was ultimately a big help. The war I had with my biggest Quora enemy was seriously eating up all my free time. I lived on Quora. It's unlikely I would have ever began going to organized singles events or joining Tinder if I was still on Quora.

He is too exhausted because he has a full-time job.

Why don't you just make the suggestion that he quits his job.

Or you can't do that because that would make you look bad.

But isn't that the type of drastic solutions you that would go somewhere?

Yeah. Full time job, long commute, and autism.

I leave home an hour and a half before work starts. And while I sometimes make it home in about an hour, it's taken as long as 2 hours for me to get home before. There's just not enough time in the day for me to add a workout.

Incidentally, my long commute answers the inevitable question of how I have time to post on here, yet don't have time to work out.

Bro, seriously? What kind of man is this? Do you think everyone that works full time is not tired after the shift ends? The gym is full of people who are just as exhausted, why do you think the gym is packed after 5:00 pm?

What lazy ass excuse. The reason he doesn’t want to go is because he believes “his looks aren’t the reason he’s failing with women”. He thinks he is a 7 when he is a 4.

Not everyone in the gym after work is necessarily as exhausted as me (because chances are they don't have autism and a long commute)

I don't deny working out could potentially make some of the female population more physically attracted to me. All I'm saying is I look plenty good without going to the gym.

The gym won't help my wrinkles and receding hairline by the way. All it could do is make me more muscular.

Muscles won't fix my social ineptitude either.

[There's a reason I say going to the gym could potentially make some of, not all of, the female population more attracted to me. I remember an emo girl I went to high school with specifically saying she hates the "meaty" look that super buff/super tanned dudes have. "Meaty" was the exact word she used]

 

[GoodMan32]

Thank you for voicing your concerns, I appreciate that. I will bring the matter up with the rest of the Mods.

Feel free to check out the post I just made on this thread. I mentioned how I don't deny working out could help to some degree.

 

[pipeman84]

I'm all for good health and gym can be an important part of that. But some of you guys paint it as if it's something magical. The world is full of roided up, tatted up beta males. Actually being on roids is almost a surefire tell sign one is deeply insecure. And spare me the 'I'm just on TRT bro, 'cause my levels were really low' BS.

So what are you advising OP to do? Become a meat-head so he can maybe/hopefully attract some hoes from the dating apps and pay them indirectly (with his time and dating costs) instead of him directly paying the hoes, as he does now?

 

[GoodMan32]

I'm all for good health and gym can be an important part of that. But some of you guys paint it as if it's something magical. The world is full of roided up, tatted up beta males. Actually being on roids is almost a surefire tell sign one is deeply insecure. And spare me the 'I'm just on TRT bro, 'cause my levels were really low' BS.

So what are you advising OP to do? Become a meat-head so he can maybe/hopefully attract some hoes from the dating apps and pay them indirectly (with his time and dating costs) instead of him directly paying the hoes, as he does now?

Excellent voice of reason.

As I pointed out on another post this morning, I fully admit the gym could potentially help to some degree.

You're correct when you say the gym isn't the magical pill some men make it sound like, however.

If the gym was really the magical pill to get cooch, gymcels wouldn't be a thing.

The average gymcel probably thought working out would make everything fall into place for his sex life. Yet gymcels end up learning the hard way: Going to the gym doesn't fix the underlying factors that made him struggle romantically in the first place.

Imagine, for example, if Elliott Rodger went to the gym. Becoming muscular wouldn't have changed the fact he was a mentally ill autist with a crippling social phobia (even more crippling than mine)

A lot of gymcels are essentially a muscular version of Elliott Rodger.

I don't want to be all tatted up either. I have one hidden tat. That's how I like it. A woman has to earn the right to see my tat. It's not something I show off to the whole world.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I'm all for good health and gym can be an important part of that. But some of you guys paint it as if it's something magical. The world is full of roided up, tatted up beta males. Actually being on roids is almost a surefire tell sign one is deeply insecure. And spare me the 'I'm just on TRT bro, 'cause my levels were really low' BS.

This is a strawman fallacy. No one is saying lifting automatically turns you into a “meathead”. Most guys in the gym are natural, and the majority just want to build a better physique and improve themselves. The small group using gear isn’t the standard and it’s just irrelevant to the core point of the advice given here to OP: lifting consistently will make you stronger, healthier, and yes, more attractive. The “roided beta” is a lazy stereotype, not an argument.

So what are you advising OP to do? Become a meat-head so he can maybe/hopefully attract some hoes from the dating apps and pay them indirectly (with his time and dating costs) instead of him directly paying the hoes, as he does now?

There’s a lot wrong here, but I’ve already addressed the meathead point, that’s a mischaracterization.

Flirting and dating are fun. Just like a woman has to be attractive and valuable enough for you to want to put time and effort, you need to be attractive and valuable enough for her to want to invest time and effort with you. That’s mutual interest as opposed to “paying”. When you’re self-sufficient and act out of choice, not need, it’s not transactional. This idea that high-value men put in zero effort is pure coping. Attraction always requires some sort effort…

Why do I lift?
Because it makes me more attractive and I love how I look. That “Damn, I look good” feeling builds a kind of confidence that carries me into everything else. That sense of pride pushes me to win in areas that aren’t as visible. I walk taller, I speak clearer, and I move through the world knowing I’ve built myself. I’m sure someone more knowledgeable than me can better explain the hormonal effects that working out has on your body, both physically and emotionally.

Why do I tell OP to lift?
It boosts looks and SMV. Working out forces you to build discipline, independence, and self-sufficiency. It makes you less emotionally needy. Self-esteem is critical in seduction; the way you see yourself leaks into every interaction you have. Low self-esteem repels. Confidence and self-sufficiency attract. And let’s be honest, OP’s post history screams low self-esteem. That’s why it’s not working for him. He’s showing up as someone women aren’t excited to chase. Lifting is the fastest way to start turning that around and to build self-esteem quickly.

If you seriously think paying for sex is the better option, why are you even here?

 

[corrector]

If you seriously think paying for sex is the better option, why are you even here?

@GoodMan32, even more seriously, how did it go last night? Did you have a good-time?

 

[GoodMan32]

This is a strawman fallacy. No one is saying lifting automatically turns you into a “meathead”. Most guys in the gym are natural, and the majority just want to build a better physique and improve themselves. The small group using gear isn’t the standard and it’s just irrelevant to the core point of the advice given here to OP: lifting consistently will make you stronger, healthier, and yes, more attractive. The “roided beta” is a lazy stereotype, not an argument.



There’s a lot wrong here, but I’ve already addressed the meathead point, that’s a mischaracterization.

Flirting and dating are fun. Just like a woman has to be attractive and valuable enough for you to want to initiate contact and go out of your way to meet her, you need to be attractive enough for her to want to invest time and effort with you. That’s mutual interest as opposed to “paying”. When you’re self-sufficient and act out of choice, not need, it’s not transactional. This idea that high-value men put in zero effort is pure coping. Attraction always requires some sort effort…

Why do I lift?
Because it makes me more attractive and I love how I look. That “Damn, I look good” feeling builds a kind of confidence that carries me into everything else. That sense of pride pushes me to win in areas that aren’t as visible. I walk taller, I speak clearer, and I move through the world knowing I’ve built myself. I’m sure someone more knowledgeable than me can better explain the hormonal effects that working out has on your body, both physically and emotionally.

Why do I tell OP to lift?
It increases looks and SMV. Working out forces you to build discipline, independence, and self-sufficiency. It makes you less emotionally needy. Self-esteem is critical in seduction; the way you see yourself leaks into every interaction you have. Low self-esteem repels. Confidence and self-sufficiency attract. And let’s be honest, OP’s post history screams low self-esteem. That’s why it’s not working for him. He’s showing up as someone women aren’t excited to chase. Lifting is the fastest way to start turning that around and to build self-esteem quickly.

If you seriously think paying for sex is the better option, why are you even here?

In many (potentially most) cases, the "mutual interest" a woman has in a man is conditional. He still ends up having to do all sorts of indirect payments to get her cooch. If the man were to refrain from doing the indirect payments, watch how quickly the "mutual interest" on her part would evaporate.

There were those hippie bumper stickers in the 70s that said "Gas, grass, and a$$; none are free"

The indirect payment thing isn't just me talking out of thin air either. It's been said many times (by multiple highly respected posters) on the forum that men who get "free" sex are still paying indirectly.

If I were to stick with a workout regimen, would it boost my self-confidence? Maybe it eventually would. All I know is when I've started workout regimens before, the workout regimen did absolutely nothing for my self-confidence.

You know what has helped my self-confidence though? Organized singles events. Getting used to chatting with the opposite sex in a romantic context has done wonders. Hell, even after the 1st organized singles event (the event where I ended up slamming 2 doors at the end because a woman refused to exchange contact information with me), a mere 2 days later, I made a flirtatious comment to a woman who worked in my condo building (and no, not the condo employee I fvcked) that I likely never would have had the confidence to make if I hadn't gotten so much practice flirting at the organized singles event.

In the 2 hours I spent at my first organized singles event, I probably talked to more gals in a romantic context than I had in the 2 years prior to the event.

 

[pipeman84]

Why do I tell OP to lift?
It boosts looks and SMV. Working out forces you to build discipline, independence, and self-sufficiency. It makes you less emotionally needy. Self-esteem is critical in seduction; the way you see yourself leaks into every interaction you have. Low self-esteem repels. Confidence and self-sufficiency attract.

It's the mental attitude that matters. If a guy is insecure (for whatever reasons too complex to get into here), him going to the gym because everyone says it's good for your mental health and so on will accomplish next to nothing. Most probably, he'll quit. Or go the other extreme, the roid route. If he fixes his self esteem issues first, and THEN goes to the gym, it's a whole different story. He'll most probably stick to it and wouldn't even think of touching the roids.

If you seriously think paying for sex is the better option, why are you even here?

Depends on what you mean by better option. If one is interested in sex, then I do think it's the more honest, straightforward and sure way as opposed to dealing with the hoes from Tinder or night clubs. If one's looking for a quality girl for an LTR, then of course it's a whole different matter.

 

[Clockwerk50]

In many (potentially most) cases, the "mutual interest" a woman has in a man is conditional. He still ends up having to do all sorts of indirect payments to get her cooch. If the man were to refrain from doing the indirect payments, watch how quickly the "mutual interest" on her part would evaporate.

There were those hippie bumper stickers in the 70s that said "Gas, grass, and a$$; none are free"

The indirect payment thing isn't just me talking out of thin air either. It's been said many times (by multiple highly respected posters) on the forum that men who get "free" sex are still paying indirectly.

If I were to stick with a workout regimen, would it boost my self-confidence? Maybe it eventually would. All I know is when I've started workout regimens before, the workout regimen did absolutely nothing for my self-confidence.

You know what has helped my self-confidence though? Organized singles events. Getting used to chatting with the opposite sex in a romantic context has done wonders. Hell, even after the 1st organized singles event (the event where I ended up slamming 2 doors at the end because a woman refused to exchange contact information with me), a mere 2 days later, I made a flirtatious comment to a woman who worked in my condo building (and no, not the condo employee I fvcked) that I likely never would have had the confidence to make if I hadn't gotten so much practice flirting at the organized singles event.

In the 2 hours I spent at my first organized singles event, I probably talked to more gals in a romantic context than I had in the 2 years prior to the event.

I don’t even want to get deep into this indirect payment argument. Women make “indirect” payments too through time, effort, and resources, but they typically make those investments for men they genuinely want and see long-term potential with. These are usually high-interest women. When she’s into you, she does these things willingly to win and keep your attention. It’s not transactional since it’s desire-driven.

As I said before, it’s mutual, reciprocal interest. A transaction expects an immediate, clear return, like buying something. What you’re describing is covert contract thinking: “If I do X, she owes me Y.” (You’re basically saying, If I buy dinner, maybe I get laid later.)

Anyway, back to the gym—lifting is the fastest way to increase your odds. It directly boosts your SMV by improving your looks, discipline, and self-reliance, all of which build genuine confidence and presence. Women are evolutionarily wired to be drawn to strong, capable men; their inner cavewoman still seeks a man who can protect and provide. Muscles signal safety and strength on a primal level, regardless of how modern the world gets. Beyond just physical changes, lifting builds self-esteem and independence, which are critical because confidence and self-reliance are highly attractive traits. You can’t control every variable, but you can control how much you tilt the game in your favor.

Anyway, back to the gym: lifting is the fastest way to improve your odds. It boosts your SMV by improving looks, discipline, and self-reliance, building real confidence and presence. Women are evolutionarily wired to be drawn to strong, capable men; their inner cavewoman still seeks a man who can protect and provide. Muscles signal safety and strength on a primal level, regardless of how modern the world gets. Beyond looks, lifting builds self-esteem and independence, critical traits that high-interest women find attractive. You can’t control everything, but you can control how much you stack the odds in your favor. If your self-esteem was as high as you claim, you wouldn’t be trauma dumping here daily.