Why would anyone join Tinder just to make friends?

[GoodMan32]

It is possible to be good at connecting with and befriending women, but not necessarily be actively dating/sexing them.

There are some straight guys that “click” better with women than men socially.

Right, I'm aware a man isn't going to date/bang every woman he clicks with.

I just find it surprising a man (me) who clicks better with the opposite sex is such a failure romantically/sexually.

You'd think whatever qualities I have that make me click better with the opposite sex would drive the opposite sex to go on dates with me and/or drop their panties for me more often.

Actually I think that's BS used by hoes and the sort of #metoo crazies that cry rape the next day because they either didn't like the sex and/or to play the victim card. A self-respecting guy would simply decline that kind of invitation. And if she comes up with that line when arriving at the house, he'd just make an excuse and leave. That would be a lesson she'd never forget.

When I was naked in bed with a 21 year old after a first date (back when I was 21), her cooch dripping wet, only for me to ultimately deny her sex, that's one thing she'll probably never forget.

Back on topic, she’s probably looking for FWB. And in the off chance the guy is really cool but not attractive (or attractive but so so in bed), she could possibly entertain the possibility of a guy friend.

But it’s primarily for FWB. Platonic friend is a hedge or worst case scenario.

Hmm, perhaps being bad in bed (despite my good looks) could explain why I rarely get a repeat session with a free woman.

 

[GoodMan32]

I've never seen that happen. My friends are all men. I have some female acquaintances. I connect better on a friendship level with men.



Yes, that's it. Multiple posters have said that. Tinder is a tough app. It's even tougher than Bumble or Hinge.

How does Feeld compare to the apps you mentioned?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Actually I think that's BS used by hoes and the sort of #metoo crazies that cry rape the next day because they either didn't like the sex and/or to play the victim card. A self-respecting guy would simply decline that kind of invitation. And if she comes up with that line when arriving at the house, he'd just make an excuse and leave. That would be a lesson she'd never forget.

Wow, that escalated quickly.

Not trying to get into an argument here, but flirting and dating is a game; it’s supposed to be fun, playful, and full of unspoken cues. My example was meant to explain how people struggle in these situations because they tend to take things literally and miss indirect signals. Women often communicate indirectly, whether consciously or not, and that’s part of the dynamic. People have to let go of extreme literalism in the dating game and learn to read between the lines.

You can easily swap out “don’t think we’re going to have sex” with things like “do you want to come over for Netflix and chill,” “I just need a big hug from you,” or “do you want to see my pool.” It’s not about the exact words, it’s about the gestures, the clothing, the actions. The action, which is the invitation over, is usually the signal.

If you’ve had bad experiences or been falsely accused in the past, I completely understand why you’d be on high alert. But that’s a separate issue from learning how attraction and interest are actually communicated in real life.

If you haven’t had those experiences and you still believe you will in the future, you might be projecting some fears or unresolved trauma that’s affecting how you approach these situations.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Actually I think that's BS used by hoes and the sort of #metoo crazies that cry rape the next day because they either didn't like the sex and/or to play the victim card. A self-respecting guy would simply decline that kind of invitation. And if she comes up with that line when arriving at the house, he'd just make an excuse and leave. That would be a lesson she'd never forget.

The women usually attack me first.

 

[BaronOfHair]

In real life, I tend to hit it off better with the opposite sex than with my own gender.

You do well around folks who enjoy grousing over all that they're unhappy about ad nauseam, yet are highly resistant to breaking things down into small parts, and actually addressing them. That's less surprising than learning that the average Feminist or MRA has no desire to associate with anyone who refuses to agree with them on every last point

 

[BadBoy89]

There are some straight guys that “click” better with women than men socially.

I would say yes if the woman is older than 35, single mother, not attractive, etc. The straight guy would have no interest in a romantic connection with her, can act normal. She has no value, she has no leverage over him.

But if she's attractive and under 30, straight guy would focus on sleeping with her, wouldn't be able to click.

 

[GoodMan32]

I would say yes if the woman is older than 35, single mother, not attractive, etc. The straight guy would have no interest in a romantic connection with her, can act normal. She has no value, she has no leverage over him.

But if she's attractive and under 30, straight guy would focus on sleeping with her, wouldn't be able to click.

Even though some are below 30/35, the vast majority of opposite sex counterparts I talk to at work/in my condo building are above 35.

For the most part, the under 30 female demographic might as well be a different species than me.

 

[MatureDJ]

When a gal says she is "looking to make friends", she means that she wants a boyfriend, but wants to take it slow - like she wants to like someone first via social circle before taking the next step. This is not altogether a bad thing.

 

[MatureDJ]

I don't know the first thing about OLD, but I've always heard that women use the "looking for friends" bit to make it look like they aren't 403ing it up.

Captain, as usual your logic is very logical.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Right, I'm aware a man isn't going to date/bang every woman he clicks with.

I just find it surprising a man (me) who clicks better with the opposite sex is such a failure romantically/sexually.

You'd think whatever qualities I have that make me click better with the opposite sex would drive the opposite sex to go on dates with me and/or drop their panties for me more often.



When I was naked in bed with a 21 year old after a first date (back when I was 21), her cooch dripping wet, only for me to ultimately deny her sex, that's one thing she'll probably never forget.



Hmm, perhaps being bad in bed (despite my good looks) could explain why I rarely get a repeat session with a free woman.

You don’t click with them because you act like a simp, here and I am positive more in the real world with them, and anyone who doesn’t have male friends and cozies up to women for emotional bonding turns them off. Go hit the gym and stop trolling. This place is turning into a knitting circle

 

[Clockwerk50]

You don’t click with them because you act like a simp, here and I am positive more in the real world with them, and anyone who doesn’t have male friends and cozies up to women for emotional bonding turns them off. Go hit the gym and stop trolling. This place is turning into a knitting circle

I was going to say birds of a feather flock together, but I didn’t feel like sitting through a lecture on why that’s supposedly wrong, and perhaps what he is doing is right, when the reality is it is not.

 

[GoodMan32]

I was going to say birds of a feather flock together, but I didn’t feel like sitting through a lecture on why that’s supposedly wrong, and perhaps what he is doing is right, when the reality is it is not.

Come to think of it, yeah, my so-called "clicking" with the opposite sex is more a matter of self-selection on my part. I go out of my way to talk to the opposite sex (in both my office building and my condo building) more often than my own gender.

It’s a shame how simping for a woman I have no chance with is a lot easier for me than pursuing a woman I actually might have a chance with.

 

[SW15]

if she's attractive and under 30, straight guy would focus on sleeping with her, wouldn't be able to click.

These are the best women to attempt to seduce.

It's important to try to connect meaningfully with women under 30. While I prefer using real life techniques to do that, some men will use apps for that purpose.

It's easier to connect meaningfully with women under 30 when the age difference is limited. However, there are 35+ men who are able to connect meaningful with women 10+ years younger. It's very exciting for a 40 year old man to connect with a 22-27 year old woman.

 

[GoodMan32]

A woman in a Tinder message just told me I look good in a picture where I'm wearing a plaid shirt (she specifically mentioned she likes the plaid)

Yet I've been told on the forum to avoid plaid.

 

[Clockwerk50]

A woman in a Tinder message just told me I look good in a picture where I'm wearing a plaid shirt (she specifically mentioned she likes the plaid)

Yet I've been told on the forum to avoid plaid.

Does she like you enough to suck your **** in reverse? Or at least to meet you outside the app? How do women communicate? Through words or actions?

I think the majority of posters have told you to hit the gym. The plaid shirt is irrelevant.

Show the convo.

 

[SW15]

I think the majority of posters have told you to hit the gym.

Tinder is an app based on short term sex. Visually appealing men are well sex up on Tinder.

The competition on Tinder is often 10-15% body fat with strong muscle definition in the arms, shoulders, and chest. OP lacks that.

Women on Tinder know that they often have sexual options from fit men.

 

[jhonny9546]

“Don’t think we’re going to have sex,” it usually means she’s actually considering it, but she wants you to lead the situation without being presumptuous.

People have to let go of extreme literalism in the dating game and learn to read between the lines.

That's why once you're in a relationship with a woman it's just hard to figure out what she means.
You can't figure out if she's still using that covert language or if she's honestly speaking with "literalism".
@Clockwerk50 please say more about this

Anyway just to give 2 examples:

I met up with a cleaning lady at my airbnb who I've known for a while and at a certain point she blurted out "the neighbor yelled yesterday telling me that I'm cheating on my husband and all the neighbors heard it and my daughter told her to shut up". She was 20 years older than me and I didn't "take advantage".

Another time at the gym 2 little men came up to me and asked if we could take turns with the car and one of them made a joke about his "gay" friend, and then I replied "luckily I'm not", and I immediately killed that conversation. They were 2 gay.

 

[GoodMan32]

Does she like you enough to suck your **** in reverse? Or at least to meet you outside the app? How do women communicate? Through words or actions?

I think the majority of posters have told you to hit the gym. The plaid shirt is irrelevant.

Show the convo.

I guess we'll find out whether she's into me enough to meet in person.

Ok, I fully admit it's been said on the forum that actions speak louder than words.

I'm glad to show a screenshot of our discussion, as it doesn't show any identifying information for either of us. Here you go:

Tinder is an app based on short term sex. Visually appealing men are well sex up on Tinder.

The competition on Tinder is often 10-15% body fat with strong muscle definition in the arms, shoulders, and chest. OP lacks that.

Women on Tinder know that they often have sexual options from fit men.

Tinder started out as a sex app. It's now a mix of short-term sex as well as long-term relationships.

Worth mentioning is that the woman whose discussion I screenshotted is 41 and plus size (in other words, it's not like she's a 25 year old Playboy bunny). Her standards are likely lower.

 

[corrector]

I guess we'll find out whether she's into me enough to meet in person.

Ok, I fully admit it's been said on the forum that actions speak louder than words.

I'm glad to show a screenshot of our discussion, as it doesn't show any identifying information for either of us. Here you go:

View attachment 14329



Tinder started out as a sex app. It's now a mix of short-term sex as well as long-term relationships.

Worth mentioning is that the woman whose discussion I screenshotted is 41 and plus size (in other words, it's not like she's a 25 year old Playboy bunny). Her standards are likely lower.

We are rooting for you GM. Do continue to share how your matches are going, including this one before @MatureDJ ruins the vibe this good thread has contributed to this forum with yet another negative "water is wet" post about Tinder. Accordingly it's a rare stroke of luck you got any match at all.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I guess we'll find out whether she's into me enough to meet in person.

Ok, I fully admit it's been said on the forum that actions speak louder than words.

I'm glad to show a screenshot of our discussion, as it doesn't show any identifying information for either of us. Here you go:

View attachment 14329



Tinder started out as a sex app. It's now a mix of short-term sex as well as long-term relationships.

Worth mentioning is that the woman whose discussion I screenshotted is 41 and plus size (in other words, it's not like she's a 25 year old Playboy bunny). Her standards are likely lower.

OP text game here needs some work. Any kind of "what are you up to" text in the evening or night is a golden chance to spice things up. Always check for late night correspondence from these chicks, even if it's a "good night" text it's a chance to build comfort. "Just got back from the gym. All hot and sweaty, about to head to the shower" would be a good response (even if you didn't work out). Also "just heading into work" is vanilla and another missed opportunity. "heading into work. No sexy plaid today though." if nothing else to throw the word "sexy" in there, and as groundwork for pic-sharing later on.

Always be looking to turn up the heat when you can.