Why Single Men Are More Lonely than Women

[DJ Novice]

Women drain your money, energy and time.

The older I get the more I realise that the price to be paid is rarely worth it when the novelty of a new woman wears off.

When your testosterone levels decline you find it increasingly difficult to put up with all the bs you did to get p*ssy when you were much younger.

 

[zekko]

Women are naturally more social than men are. So they tend to have larger support systems. Arguably women are better at supporting their fellow women as well. One thing I've noticed, the loneliest men I've seen are extroverts. I used to work with this guy who was very extroverted. As such, he needed constant interactions and attention. When he wasn't getting it, you could almost just see him disintegrate. That's kind of an extreme case, but introverts tend to function better on their own. Which is not to say they don't need socializing.

When you are talking romantically, a baseline woman tends to be more attractive to men than a baseline man is to women. Women are designed to attract men, and then they can choose from those she attracts. As long as a woman has the necessary parts, we are programmed to respond to it. Within reason, of course. So a woman having to do without is rarer than a man having to do without.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Any article written by a psychotherapist that touts "more therapy" as a quick fix for men's loneliness should be taken with a grain of salt. It's like a family lawyer saying that the best way to solve relationship issues is to file for divorce. There is more than a bit of vested interest in that kind of advice.

I don't buy the idea that men are more lonely than women. I mean, how would you even measure that? Loneliness affects both men and women. Male loneliness may be more visible because lonely men occasionally snap and resort to violence (i.e. incel mass murderers) but that doesn't there aren't millions of lonely women out there living in a quite desperation.

Loneliness will not be solved by paying money to charlatans like the author of that Psychology Today article. It requires massive, structural changes to the way our society operates.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Women drain your money, energy and time.

The older I get the more I realise that the price to be paid is rarely worth it when the novelty of a new woman wears off.

When your testosterone levels decline you find it increasingly difficult to put up with all the bs you did to get p*ssy when you were much younger.

I've had women who were draining. I filtered them out and am with one now who gives energy instead.

 

[jhonny9546]

I've had women who were draining. I filtered them out and am with one now who gives energy instead.

Is that because she's just the new one?
Or what else?

Bc I do relatve with @DJ Novice experience. (But I'm also thinking from being a provider for a family POV)

 

[Vanderdonck]

Is that because she's just the new one?
Or what else?

No. Some people are draining and others aren't. Anyone who thinks all women are going to drain your energy might have other problems, maybe low T.

 

[Hal9000]

Single doesnt equal alone, although it frequently does for men. Women are never alone unless they choose to be alone. Thats all you need to remember. Being single/alone as a choice is different than being single/alone because not a single person on the planet appears to want to date you.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Single doesnt equal alone, although it frequently does for men

Men living in The Post-Industrial West have to work hard at building social connections, this is true

 

[BadBoy89]

Being single/alone as a choice is different than being single/alone because not a single person on the planet appears to want to date you.

Depends on the age and looks of the woman.

I don’t think most men on Sosuave would say “Sydney Sweeney, 28, never married, no kids, wants to date me? No thanks, I choose to be alone.”

Yet I think most men on Sosuave would say “Nicole Kidman, 58, twice divorced, 4 kids, 1 biological, 1 surrogate, 2 adopted, wants to date me? No thanks, I choose to be alone.”

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Loneliness is all a mindset.

I love spending time alone, but I'm never lonely. Huge difference. I'm a natural introvert so I actually need that alone time to recharge my batteries so to speak because being around people for too long is draining.

I've learned to be an extroverted introvert from being in sales and a lot of practice but it still drains the hell out of me and the more extroverted I need to be and the longer I need to be that way, the more it drains me.

ive found a strange dynamic tho, when I go to parties or get togethers, I'll go in and say hi to everyone and make some small talk and then if there isn't really anyone there that I know, I will often sit by myself and hang out or watch people or even be on my phone doing stuff. Every once in a while I'll randomly chat with some people...

Then at some point once I am more comfortable with things I'll get up join a random convo and there will be like a beeline of people that come over and want to talk to me...I have no idea what that's about...it's like they all are curious as to why I am over there keeping to myself but then also social...

It's happened many times and I don't really plan it to happen but I've found it strange and often wonder why. Usually seems to be more women who sometimes will come up to me in a group of 4 or 5 and they will just all start talking to me. Sometimes guys too tho... weird

 

[plumber]

Loneliness is all a mindset.

I love spending time alone, but I'm never lonely. Huge difference. I'm a natural introvert so I actually need that alone time to recharge my batteries so to speak because being around people for too long is draining.

I've learned to be an extroverted introvert from being in sales and a lot of practice but it still drains the hell out of me and the more extroverted I need to be and the longer I need to be that way, the more it drains me.

ive found a strange dynamic tho, when I go to parties or get togethers, I'll go in and say hi to everyone and make some small talk and then if there isn't really anyone there that I know, I will often sit by myself and hang out or watch people or even be on my phone doing stuff. Every once in a while I'll randomly chat with some people...

Then at some point once I am more comfortable with things I'll get up join a random convo and there will be like a beeline of people that come over and want to talk to me...I have no idea what that's about...it's like they all are curious as to why I am over there keeping to myself but then also social...

It's happened many times and I don't really plan it to happen but I've found it strange and often wonder why. Usually seems to be more women who sometimes will come up to me in a group of 4 or 5 and they will just all start talking to me. Sometimes guys too tho... weird

if it happens often. it is not random. my guess is that when you sit and chill, you slide into tune. its a good thing. that feeling of comfort shows externally. its like you unlock the door and hang a welcome sign.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Article below:

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A recent article in Psychology Today says that men are increasingly lonely because of the modern dating climate. Greg Matos, the author of the article in question, predicts that this loneliness is going to get even worse in the coming years.

Why Single Men Are More Lonely Than Women - Study — Innovative Match

A recent article in Psychology Today says that men are increasingly lonely because of the modern dating climate. Greg Matos, the author of the article in question, predicts that this loneliness is going to get even worse in the coming years. Matos writes that men’s opportunities for finding rom

www.innovative-match.com

Matos writes that men’s opportunities for finding romantic relationships are reduced because of increasing dating standards and competition. He argues that, in response, men need to address a variety of internal issues to accommodate these increased standards.

Why? Because relationships tend to be crucial for men’s happiness and health. So this increase in singledom and loneliness is potentially problematic for men’s mental and physical well-being.

Why are men more likely to be single?

Matos attributes the increase in single men to three main reasons:

(1) dating apps
(2) modern relationship standards
(3) men’s skills deficits.

Men are overrepresented on dating apps — around two-thirds of the people on dating apps are men. Coupled with how women prefer men who are emotionally available and communicative and who share similar values, Matos says that it makes sense that men are increasingly single and lonely.

Emotional availability and communication are skills that men are often not as well-versed in as their partners would like. Indeed, this skills deficit can be harmful when trying to find a partner, especially given that the modern dating climate allows women to be selective and find partners who are emotionally available and good fits for them.

As dating apps become more prolific and finding partners offline becomes harder, so the theory goes, finding a good match online will become harder for men.

How can being single be hurtful?

Being single can lead to feelings of loneliness, which is associated with a number of negative health effects, from substance abuse to depression and suicide. Long-term loneliness also has negative physical health implications, such as cardiovascular disease.

Single men are also more likely to be depressed than married men. Married men are more likely to be satisfied with their life in retirement and are more likely to live longer.

Research supports the idea that marriage is healthy for men. Men who are married are more likely to have better heart health, have better chances of fighting cancer, and have a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease.

In addition to health, economic prospects might also be worse if you are single. Research from Pew Research Center found that unpartnered adults were less likely to be employed than partnered adults — 75% of unpartnered adults were employed, compared to 82% of partnered adults. Unpartnered adults’ median earnings are also $14,000 less.

Because the modern dating climate is so competitive for men and women alike, being single may become self-perpetuating in certain circumstances. If a man is unable to find a partner because he is emotionally unavailable, for instance, he may feel lonely and, therefore, depressed. His depression may then lead to him being further emotionally unavailable, not finding a partner, and repeating the cycle.

However, many women have argued that rising relationship standards are not actually that high but rather are just not what men are taught to do in relationships. “Emotional connection requires all the skills that families are still not consistently teaching their young boys.”

What can men do?

If being single is so negative and loneliness-inducing for men, what can men do to combat it?

Matos suggests individual therapy to help men further their emotional development and address their issues, which might be preventing them from being emotionally available with their partners.

Because therapy requires talking through feelings and ideas, it can improve communication skills and help to manage emotions or stress. These benefits can help get rid of the major hurdles for men in romantic relationships, according to Matos’ argument.

In addition to working on mental health, nurturing existing relationships can play a key role in reducing feelings of loneliness. Romantic relationships are not the only important relationships in life, and though being partnered may have its benefits, focusing on other relationships in addition to romantic ones can help to better social, mental, and physical health.

Making an effort to talk to family members on a consistent basis, for instance, may help people feel less lonely. Similarly, reaching out to friends and spending time with loved ones in a platonic or familial way can be beneficial for health.

Even when men are in a relationship, relying solely on their partner may not be the best route. Other studies reveal that 66% of men rely on their wives for their primary social support, and 10% of men have no such social support. Fostering friendships and familial connections can, therefore, help men to have a nuanced and healthy social support network.

Matos writes that men need to see “intimacy, romance, and emotional connection as worthy of your time and effort.” Ultimately, a shift in perspective is needed.

Though working on mental health and intimacy can be difficult, the result is positive for everyone involved. Men are able to have a better relationship with themselves, all while trying to find someone to have a romantic relationship with.

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My thoughts: OK, so let me get this straight. The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is suggesting to cure male loneliness, a man should go to spend $165 / hour for therapy to talk to a good looking 27 year old female therapist who is married to a 6'1 rich guy who is sticking it to her 3 times a week, so he can improve his communications skills and express his emotions so he can meet a girl online to connect with? I don't know about that.

The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is also suggesting "nurture existing relationships". Thanks Doc, we didn't think it would be beneficial to keep in touch with our friends from University who are married and have several kids and whose wives love it that their husbands are talking to single men.

The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is also suggesting to "reach out to family members". Thanks Doc, I didn't know I should reach out to my 3 sisters and 2 brothers and talk to him every one in a while. Oh wait, you are assuming the man has a large family.

Mind blowing stuff Doc. Good you spent 8 years in school to tell us layman that.

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Your thoughts?

a key reason is, women naturally get way more attention than men do, thats a fact, so it makes sense that men experience a lot more loneliness than women do.