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A recent article in Psychology Today says that men are increasingly lonely because of the modern dating climate. Greg Matos, the author of the article in question, predicts that this loneliness is going to get even worse in the coming years.
www.innovative-match.com
Matos writes that men’s opportunities for finding romantic relationships are reduced because of increasing dating standards and competition. He argues that, in response, men need to address a variety of internal issues to accommodate these increased standards.
Why? Because relationships tend to be crucial for men’s happiness and health. So this increase in singledom and loneliness is potentially problematic for men’s mental and physical well-being.
Why are men more likely to be single?
Matos attributes the increase in single men to three main reasons:
(1) dating apps
(2) modern relationship standards
(3) men’s skills deficits.
Men are overrepresented on dating apps — around two-thirds of the people on dating apps are men. Coupled with how women prefer men who are emotionally available and communicative and who share similar values, Matos says that it makes sense that men are increasingly single and lonely.
Emotional availability and communication are skills that men are often not as well-versed in as their partners would like. Indeed, this skills deficit can be harmful when trying to find a partner, especially given that the modern dating climate allows women to be selective and find partners who are emotionally available and good fits for them.
As dating apps become more prolific and finding partners offline becomes harder, so the theory goes, finding a good match online will become harder for men.
How can being single be hurtful?
Being single can lead to feelings of loneliness, which is associated with a number of negative health effects, from substance abuse to depression and suicide. Long-term loneliness also has negative physical health implications, such as cardiovascular disease.
Single men are also more likely to be depressed than married men. Married men are more likely to be satisfied with their life in retirement and are more likely to live longer.
Research supports the idea that marriage is healthy for men. Men who are married are more likely to have better heart health, have better chances of fighting cancer, and have a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
In addition to health, economic prospects might also be worse if you are single. Research from Pew Research Center found that unpartnered adults were less likely to be employed than partnered adults — 75% of unpartnered adults were employed, compared to 82% of partnered adults. Unpartnered adults’ median earnings are also $14,000 less.
Because the modern dating climate is so competitive for men and women alike, being single may become self-perpetuating in certain circumstances. If a man is unable to find a partner because he is emotionally unavailable, for instance, he may feel lonely and, therefore, depressed. His depression may then lead to him being further emotionally unavailable, not finding a partner, and repeating the cycle.
However, many women have argued that rising relationship standards are not actually that high but rather are just not what men are taught to do in relationships. “Emotional connection requires all the skills that families are still not consistently teaching their young boys.”
What can men do?
If being single is so negative and loneliness-inducing for men, what can men do to combat it?
Matos suggests individual therapy to help men further their emotional development and address their issues, which might be preventing them from being emotionally available with their partners.
Because therapy requires talking through feelings and ideas, it can improve communication skills and help to manage emotions or stress. These benefits can help get rid of the major hurdles for men in romantic relationships, according to Matos’ argument.
In addition to working on mental health, nurturing existing relationships can play a key role in reducing feelings of loneliness. Romantic relationships are not the only important relationships in life, and though being partnered may have its benefits, focusing on other relationships in addition to romantic ones can help to better social, mental, and physical health.
Making an effort to talk to family members on a consistent basis, for instance, may help people feel less lonely. Similarly, reaching out to friends and spending time with loved ones in a platonic or familial way can be beneficial for health.
Even when men are in a relationship, relying solely on their partner may not be the best route. Other studies reveal that 66% of men rely on their wives for their primary social support, and 10% of men have no such social support. Fostering friendships and familial connections can, therefore, help men to have a nuanced and healthy social support network.
Matos writes that men need to see “intimacy, romance, and emotional connection as worthy of your time and effort.” Ultimately, a shift in perspective is needed.
Though working on mental health and intimacy can be difficult, the result is positive for everyone involved. Men are able to have a better relationship with themselves, all while trying to find someone to have a romantic relationship with.
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My thoughts: OK, so let me get this straight. The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is suggesting to cure male loneliness, a man should go to spend $165 / hour for therapy to talk to a good looking 27 year old female therapist who is married to a 6'1 rich guy who is sticking it to her 3 times a week, so he can improve his communications skills and express his emotions so he can meet a girl online to connect with? I don't know about that.
The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is also suggesting "nurture existing relationships". Thanks Doc, we didn't think it would be beneficial to keep in touch with our friends from University who are married and have several kids and whose wives love it that their husbands are talking to single men.
The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is also suggesting to "reach out to family members". Thanks Doc, I didn't know I should reach out to my 3 sisters and 2 brothers and talk to him every one in a while. Oh wait, you are assuming the man has a large family.
Mind blowing stuff Doc. Good you spent 8 years in school to tell us layman that.
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Your thoughts?
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A recent article in Psychology Today says that men are increasingly lonely because of the modern dating climate. Greg Matos, the author of the article in question, predicts that this loneliness is going to get even worse in the coming years.
Why Single Men Are More Lonely Than Women - Study — Innovative Match
A recent article in Psychology Today says that men are increasingly lonely because of the modern dating climate. Greg Matos, the author of the article in question, predicts that this loneliness is going to get even worse in the coming years. Matos writes that men’s opportunities for finding rom
www.innovative-match.com
Matos writes that men’s opportunities for finding romantic relationships are reduced because of increasing dating standards and competition. He argues that, in response, men need to address a variety of internal issues to accommodate these increased standards.
Why? Because relationships tend to be crucial for men’s happiness and health. So this increase in singledom and loneliness is potentially problematic for men’s mental and physical well-being.
Why are men more likely to be single?
Matos attributes the increase in single men to three main reasons:
(1) dating apps
(2) modern relationship standards
(3) men’s skills deficits.
Men are overrepresented on dating apps — around two-thirds of the people on dating apps are men. Coupled with how women prefer men who are emotionally available and communicative and who share similar values, Matos says that it makes sense that men are increasingly single and lonely.
Emotional availability and communication are skills that men are often not as well-versed in as their partners would like. Indeed, this skills deficit can be harmful when trying to find a partner, especially given that the modern dating climate allows women to be selective and find partners who are emotionally available and good fits for them.
As dating apps become more prolific and finding partners offline becomes harder, so the theory goes, finding a good match online will become harder for men.
How can being single be hurtful?
Being single can lead to feelings of loneliness, which is associated with a number of negative health effects, from substance abuse to depression and suicide. Long-term loneliness also has negative physical health implications, such as cardiovascular disease.
Single men are also more likely to be depressed than married men. Married men are more likely to be satisfied with their life in retirement and are more likely to live longer.
Research supports the idea that marriage is healthy for men. Men who are married are more likely to have better heart health, have better chances of fighting cancer, and have a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
In addition to health, economic prospects might also be worse if you are single. Research from Pew Research Center found that unpartnered adults were less likely to be employed than partnered adults — 75% of unpartnered adults were employed, compared to 82% of partnered adults. Unpartnered adults’ median earnings are also $14,000 less.
Because the modern dating climate is so competitive for men and women alike, being single may become self-perpetuating in certain circumstances. If a man is unable to find a partner because he is emotionally unavailable, for instance, he may feel lonely and, therefore, depressed. His depression may then lead to him being further emotionally unavailable, not finding a partner, and repeating the cycle.
However, many women have argued that rising relationship standards are not actually that high but rather are just not what men are taught to do in relationships. “Emotional connection requires all the skills that families are still not consistently teaching their young boys.”
What can men do?
If being single is so negative and loneliness-inducing for men, what can men do to combat it?
Matos suggests individual therapy to help men further their emotional development and address their issues, which might be preventing them from being emotionally available with their partners.
Because therapy requires talking through feelings and ideas, it can improve communication skills and help to manage emotions or stress. These benefits can help get rid of the major hurdles for men in romantic relationships, according to Matos’ argument.
In addition to working on mental health, nurturing existing relationships can play a key role in reducing feelings of loneliness. Romantic relationships are not the only important relationships in life, and though being partnered may have its benefits, focusing on other relationships in addition to romantic ones can help to better social, mental, and physical health.
Making an effort to talk to family members on a consistent basis, for instance, may help people feel less lonely. Similarly, reaching out to friends and spending time with loved ones in a platonic or familial way can be beneficial for health.
Even when men are in a relationship, relying solely on their partner may not be the best route. Other studies reveal that 66% of men rely on their wives for their primary social support, and 10% of men have no such social support. Fostering friendships and familial connections can, therefore, help men to have a nuanced and healthy social support network.
Matos writes that men need to see “intimacy, romance, and emotional connection as worthy of your time and effort.” Ultimately, a shift in perspective is needed.
Though working on mental health and intimacy can be difficult, the result is positive for everyone involved. Men are able to have a better relationship with themselves, all while trying to find someone to have a romantic relationship with.
-------------------------------
My thoughts: OK, so let me get this straight. The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is suggesting to cure male loneliness, a man should go to spend $165 / hour for therapy to talk to a good looking 27 year old female therapist who is married to a 6'1 rich guy who is sticking it to her 3 times a week, so he can improve his communications skills and express his emotions so he can meet a girl online to connect with? I don't know about that.
The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is also suggesting "nurture existing relationships". Thanks Doc, we didn't think it would be beneficial to keep in touch with our friends from University who are married and have several kids and whose wives love it that their husbands are talking to single men.
The author, a Doctor in Psychology, is also suggesting to "reach out to family members". Thanks Doc, I didn't know I should reach out to my 3 sisters and 2 brothers and talk to him every one in a while. Oh wait, you are assuming the man has a large family.
Mind blowing stuff Doc. Good you spent 8 years in school to tell us layman that.
-------------------------------
Your thoughts?
