Why she pulled away when I treated her well, need perspective

BackInTheGame78

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Welp, what's done its done, I allowed myself to get too invested, live and learn
It wasn't that you were too invested necessarily, it was that you did one thing but said another. She basically thinks you are full of crap.
 
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member160761

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and then she pulls away like nothing happened between us
You missed the part where she suspected you of cheating and was right about that. There are CHILDREN INVOLVED for ****s sake. They get attached and see you as potential stepfather and then you bail out for no reason than "muh d!ck". The mother is right that nobody wants a single mom and you confirmed it. Stop wasting her time.
 

BackInTheGame78

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That's fine for a childless man casually having sex with a single mom.
Nothing wrong with it but not sure how allowing someone to sleep at your house 10 nights in a row or meeting each other's families qualifies as casual.

That goes far beyond any possible definition of casual
 

SW15

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Nothing wrong with it but not sure how allowing someone to sleep at your house 10 nights in a row or meeting each other's families qualifies as casual.

That goes far beyond any possible definition of casual
That's true. My girlfriends don't sleep at my place for 10 nights in a row.
 

Blacksheep

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She's told me she's never have had this much fun with anyone, she even cried on my chest once that nobody has treated her this well. Her dad was never in the pic and her mom died last year, and sometimes she told her thet she never was gonna be happy, a typical toxic mother, her ex wanted to change her to a muslim religion, he was controlling, never let her wear sexy clothes, she's always working 7 days, she had no time for anything, with me it was all different, never controlled her, always gave her space, all fun throughout the 4 months.

Is this the case of all of red flags combined and she's fvcked up in the head?
Freud used to say that we unconsciously look for something that is familiar and we feel attracted to it. That might be a reason why she is pulling away.

In that case, she needs professional help, otherwise she will only show emotions to the same patterns of her past experiences. It's like projecting those traumas and negative situations into actual relationships.

In any case, focus on your emotions. If that is hurting you, leave. Your well being and peace needs to come at first. You are not responsible to save her if she doesn't ask for help or show a genuine desire to change.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Freud used to say that we unconsciously look for something that is familiar and we feel attracted to it. That might be a reason why she is pulling away.

In that case, she needs professional help, otherwise she will only show emotions to the same patterns of her past experiences. It's like projecting those traumas and negative situations into actual relationships.

In any case, focus on your emotions. If that is hurting you, leave. Your well being and peace needs to come at first. You are not responsible to save her if she doesn't ask for help or show a genuine desire to change.
She also like feels undeserving of being treated in this way and feels like OP is going to either realize he is too good for her and leave eventually or she sees OP as a weak for treating her like this in the first place.
 

Blacksheep

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She also like feels undeserving of being treated in this way and feels like OP is going to either realize he is too good for her and leave eventually or she sees OP as a weak for treating her like this in the first place.
Unfortunately. In those cases it might be better for OP to just leave her.
 

Pedrito0906

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Spent 10 days together? Too much bro. Give her time to miss you. What did you sacrifice in those 10 days? Don't you have any hobbies?
It was actually at night only, I did my normal things, I got sick for 4 days, she came at night, then other nights were just hooking up and she staying.

I've been fully on this forum for a couple of months, I should've known better
 

Cloudtopsun2100

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Assuming you are trolling but rule #1, single moms are awful and are a product of their own bad choices. So, don't expect her to make the correct choice and reward you for your excellent behavior. That is because of a lack of logic added with a lack of decision making skills. You should sing praises to the heavens and prepare to chill with someone better! You got this bro! Don't worry about her garbage behavior.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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It was actually at night only, I did my normal things, I got sick for 4 days, she came at night, then other nights were just hooking up and she staying.

I've been fully on this forum for a couple of months, I should've known better

I made a similar thread 2 months back regarding a 32 year old female who I was fvcking with. It was a 2 month thing with her. But we had some light chemistry flowing from the jump. The sex was top notch.
Similar situation like yours but she wasn't a mother. (red flag in my book honestly)
She also spent like a whole week at my pad. She would pull up at my signal at night time. Anyway she made some grave mistakes along the way and now she is gone. Gave her the boot. Shot first asked questions later.

She tried to come back again after 3 months of probably getting the boot somewhere else
with some nonsense text saying "if I missed her or if I was still mad"
Not once asking a how are you or a hey I reflected some things and I apologize for what happened. Nah, a narcissistic sadistic twisted b!tch at it's finest.

and what did I do with her text? I gave her the walking papers again. The juice wasn't worth the squeeze
Took a hold of my integrity and grew a more solid pair.
Sometimes these self made hves aint even worthy of plate material let alone the top brass position of girlfriend. Treat them accordingly.
At the end of the day pray and focus on your peace of mind.
 
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LTG71

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This is an example of a woman with low self-esteem. We gravitate to what is familiar. As much as you fight it, you subconsciously are attracted to similar characteristics that you were exposed to while growing up in earlier years. I once heard a girl say, “what did I do to deserve you?”, “why do you always treat me so good?”. I honestly treated her like I treat anyone else. She just wasn’t used to it being treated with a basic level of respect and decency. She ended up finding a boyfriend that treated her poorly like she was used to.
 

Pedrito0906

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Update:

Sunday she texted me a pic of a fair, that she wished I'd be there, I said, if you would have invited me I would have been there. Then she invited me, (keep in mind I dropped her), so I went.

We had fun, it was good, I said in convo that she fvcked everything up with the label request (trying to avoid the trap again) she said that she was jealous about the other girl I'm dating. I said that she's being silly (I didn't say yes or no).

On Monday I wanted to fk so I told her to come (2 nights in a row I know) I learned my lesson about being together that many nights in a row, I will seeing my other plate tonight, even though she's not that fun she will keep my b55ls empty.

One thing, even though we don't have a label, I still feel a little guilty seeing my other plate, I posted this in a another thread, but damn I feel uncomfortable because I know she's invested in me.

Did you guys felt uncomfortable doing that? Seeing multiple women at once knowing one of them is invested in you?
 

Pedrito0906

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This is an example of a woman with low self-esteem. We gravitate to what is familiar. As much as you fight it, you subconsciously are attracted to similar characteristics that you were exposed to while growing up in earlier years. I once heard a girl say, “what did I do to deserve you?”, “why do you always treat me so good?”. I honestly treated her like I treat anyone else. She just wasn’t used to it being treated with a basic level of respect and decency. She ended up finding a boyfriend that treated her poorly like she was used to.
It was also my fault, I gave her too much attention, instead of just casual dating her while seeing other women. But whats done is done
 
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