Why she pulled away when I treated her well, need perspective

[Lover_boy]

She may be using the pullback method as her last resort to get what she wants from you. Which is for you to get serious with her. Lets be real, single moms at the end of the day are looking for stability. You made it obvious from the previous event that you were dating other women.

I think she is using the pullback method as a manipulation tactic. But as AMS says, if she pulls back for 3, 4, 6 months. You do nothing.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Its her loss. At your age, you shouldnt be smashing single moms yet anyway.

 

[Robert28]

She may be using the pullback method as her last resort to get what she wants from you. Which is for you to get serious with her. Lets be real, single moms at the end of the day are looking for stability. You made it obvious from the previous event that you were dating other women.

I think she is using the pullback method as a manipulation tactic. But as AMS says, if she pulls back for 3, 4, 6 months. You do nothing.

The last girl to friendzone me was a single mom lol

 

[Barrister]

I've been dating this single mother non-exclusive for 4 months, always done fun dates, dancing, action dates, have made her boring life interesting, treating her well (non in a simping mode), wasn't that available until the last 2 weeks where we spent 10 days together. I know her family and we've been in events all together. Have been giving the bf vibe but always made sure to tell her that I wasn't ready.

Her ex was an obese guy (really fat), living with her parents, no job, never took her anywhere, never did anything interesting, a total loser, I know the guy and its true. When they broke up he went crying to her telling her that he took her for granted. They were together for 4 years, I can't imagine how, maybe she had low self esteem and got a hold of him instead of being alone. She told me one time that she thinks no man wants a woman with children.

I got my $hit together, fit, charming, financially stable, fun, interesting hobbies, and has a lot of friends

The thing is that she imagines I'm seeing other girls, so she pulled away from me for the last 3 days, she hasn't said anything about see me and I haven't sent her any message.

Even though I am seeing another girl, I treated her well, and then she pulls away like nothing happened between us. What is this? Women want to be treated like crap? Am I selecting damaged girls?

Help me understand what am I doing wrong, if I'm being different than her ex how she can pull away from me like that?

OP - I am confused. Isn't this the same woman from your other post where you took another woman to a stand up show that THIS chick was going to be at and basically rubbed her face in it? If so, wasn't this question answered there?

You seem like you have gotten oneitis for this woman. If she was with the man you claimed she was before, there is obviously something wrong with her value system. On the other hand, I think you had stated in the other post she asked for exclusivity and you declined. This is naturally going to make any woman who values herself start looking elsewhere. No plate is going to last forever unless she just has zero respect for herself.

If you wanted to be exclusive with this woman, you should have agreed when she asked. You may be still able to salvage that, but its going to take some work. I also wouldn't recommend it at this point given that she will never completely trust you. Too many sh1t tests will be coming your way.

 

[Pedrito0906]

Edit @Pedrito0906 . She tested you bro. I hadn't read the latest responses before I made this post, but now I did and I believe she ultimately tested you there.

If texts you to see you, would you be down to see her the same day? or you just ignore her and reply next day? or would you see her another day?

OP - I am confused. Isn't this the same woman from your other post where you took another woman to a stand up show that THIS chick was going to be at and basically rubbed her face in it? If so, wasn't this question answered there?

You seem like you have gotten oneitis for this woman. If she was with the man you claimed she was before, there is obviously something wrong with her value system. On the other hand, I think you had stated in the other post she asked for exclusivity and you declined. This is naturally going to make any woman who values herself start looking elsewhere. No plate is going to last forever unless she just has zero respect for herself.

If you wanted to be exclusive with this woman, you should have agreed when she asked. You may be still able to salvage that, but its going to take some work. I also wouldn't recommend it at this point given that she will never completely trust you. Too many sh1t tests will be coming your way.

I don't want to be exclusive, I'm just learning female nature, that's why I'm asking here, since I'm freshly unplugged. Don't confuse asking questions with oneitis, and yes I do like her a lot, but I still have a lot to learn and to do before committing to someone. The best way of learning is trying things and learn from mistakes.

Also she left a 5 year relationship so I tell her that she can't love another guy in a couple of months, either true or false its the perfect excuse to keep her wanting my commitment. I told her one time if she's looking for a husband and a stepdad that quickly then to look somewhere else, cause I won't be that this quickly. Like I said this is just an experiment.

 

[Robert28]

If texts you to see you, would you be down to see her the same day? or you just ignore her and reply next day? or would you see her another day?



I don't want to be exclusive, I'm just learning female nature, that's why I'm asking here, since I'm freshly unplugged. Don't confuse asking questions with oneitis, and yes I do like her a lot, but I still have a lot to learn and to do before committing to someone. The best way of learning is trying things and learn from mistakes.

Also she left a 5 year relationship so I tell her that she can't love another guy in a couple of months, either true or false its the perfect excuse to keep her wanting my commitment. I told her one time if she's looking for a husband and a stepdad that quickly then to look somewhere else, cause I won't be that this quickly. Like I said this is just an experiment.

If she texts you today DO NOT wait to text her back tomorrow. You can’t play that game these days, women are way too flakey and lose interest too fast these days because most have too many options. What you want to do if she texts, text her back within an hour but try to set up a date with her. When you’re out with her don’t bring up anything about being exclusive or marriage or anything like that, just have a good time and let her bring it up. Then just say “I mean I like you, I enjoy spending time with you and I’d like to see you more often if you’re up for that. I just wasn’t sure where I stood with you so I kept my options open, that’s all I was doing.” Trust me on this! It’ll work.

 

[Gamisch]

If texts you to see you, would you be down to see her the same day? or you just ignore her and reply next day? or would you see her another day?



I don't want to be exclusive, I'm just learning female nature, that's why I'm asking here, since I'm freshly unplugged. Don't confuse asking questions with oneitis, and yes I do like her a lot, but I still have a lot to learn and to do before committing to someone. The best way of learning is trying things and learn from mistakes.

Also she left a 5 year relationship so I tell her that she can't love another guy in a couple of months, either true or false its the perfect excuse to keep her wanting my commitment. I told her one time if she's looking for a husband and a stepdad that quickly then to look somewhere else, cause I won't be that this quickly. Like I said this is just an experiment.

Well, after everything that happened I would definitely try to reconcile things and meet up asap. But generally speaking I rather pretend to be busy than being overly available.

Less is more with women. Hypothetically you got 10 days a month you can see her, it's on you how you spread those days. But you can't see her 31 days in February, know what I mean?

You gotta be more subtle with these women and sell them a dream, and only become "honest " when you have nothing to lose (aka are done with her).

You seem to like this women, so I would definitely try to restore whatever damage is done.

Your honesty towards her is praiseworthy btw, but when you are juggling women you're playing a different game than when you are focused on just one. In the case of multiple women you gotta develop some " dark traits ", how you deal wit that from a moral standpoint is up to you.

 

[Barrister]

I don't want to be exclusive, I'm just learning female nature, that's why I'm asking here, since I'm freshly unplugged. Don't confuse asking questions with oneitis, and yes I do like her a lot, but I still have a lot to learn and to do before committing to someone. The best way of learning is trying things and learn from mistakes.

Also she left a 5 year relationship so I tell her that she can't love another guy in a couple of months, either true or false its the perfect excuse to keep her wanting my commitment. I told her one time if she's looking for a husband and a stepdad that quickly then to look somewhere else, cause I won't be that this quickly. Like I said this is just an experiment.

My point is this: the ship on her being a plate for you has sailed. When a woman initiates a "what are we" type talk or point blank asks for exclusivity as this woman did with you, it means she wants it to be next level and isn't sticking around for periodic dates followed by sex anymore. You are in a watershed type moment. Some men become adept at dodging this question, but it happens with every plate eventually no matter how successful you are at dodging. Most "plates" are not going to be plates more than 6-8 months in my experience.

You did a good job of hooking her clearly, but it seems like you want to know how to keep her around as just a plate. And I am saying that isn't happening based on her actions. She either stays around as your girlfriend or she is gone. I guess there is always the option of outright lying to her and telling her "sure we are exclusive" while continuing to bang other women. All morality aside, that choice is yours.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I've been dating this single mother non-exclusive for 4 months,

Red Flags #1 and #2

always done fun dates, dancing, action dates, have made her boring life interesting, treating her well (non in a simping mode), wasn't that available until the last 2 weeks where we spent 10 days together. I know her family and we've been in events all together.

Red Flags #3, 4, and 5.

Have been giving the bf vibe but always made sure to tell her that I wasn't ready.
treated like crap? Am I selecting damaged girls?

Help me understand what am I doing wrong, if I'm being different than her ex how she can pull away from me like that?

It’s called game playing. This girl knows you are full of shvt. You are doing everything wrong; acting just like a whipped boyfriend but telling her the opposite. And you’ve been doing this for four months!

If you are casually dating this girl, you should not ever meet her family. You also need to accept that women don’t want to casually fvck a “good guy” for months. They want commitment. It is standard to lose her at this point.

Men, to keep your Fwb situationship with these broads (including single mothers), just fvck and disappear until they hit you up again. Do this for 2-3 months. She will get the hint then pull back when she finds a beta to date. If you did this correctly, she will hit you up for sex between beta boyfriends.

 

[Pedrito0906]

Points taken, thanks for the brutal honesty

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You already answered the question...you are trying to say how much better you are than her last BF, but what you don't realize is that when a woman is with a man who is a "loser" for that long of a period of time, she actually WANTS that type of man.

You may be better than him and all of those other things, but eventually she figures there must be something wrong with you because you aren't like him, and begins to try and find someone more like the loser guy.

Also at 3-4 months, that is the time frame a woman decides whether she wants to continue things and become more serious about a guy or doesn't see a future with him and decides to move on.

So typically if you notice this type of stuff at the 3-4 month mark it likely means she doesn't view you as the type of man she wants to be with long term, and a large part is because you aren't like the last guy she dated for 4 years.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If texts you to see you, would you be down to see her the same day? or you just ignore her and reply next day? or would you see her another day?



I don't want to be exclusive, I'm just learning female nature, that's why I'm asking here, since I'm freshly unplugged. Don't confuse asking questions with oneitis, and yes I do like her a lot, but I still have a lot to learn and to do before committing to someone. The best way of learning is trying things and learn from mistakes.

Also she left a 5 year relationship so I tell her that she can't love another guy in a couple of months, either true or false its the perfect excuse to keep her wanting my commitment. I told her one time if she's looking for a husband and a stepdad that quickly then to look somewhere else, cause I won't be that this quickly. Like I said this is just an experiment.

You are the rebound guy, nothing more nothing less.

 

[Gamisch]

You are the rebound guy, nothing more nothing less.

He could get more out of it, she offered it, but rejected her. Then you gotta carry the cross, and let her go in peace. Sure,fomo might kick in ,and the fomo alone might be the lesson here.

Maybe the problem is op feels like he treated her "well" ,but her definition of good treatment is something else. You cant have your cake and eat it too.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

He could get more out of it, she offered it, but rejected her. Then you gotta carry the cross, and let her go in peace. Sure,Romo might kick in ,and the fomo alone might be the lesson here.

Maybe the problem is op feels like he treated her "well" ,but her definition of good treatment is something else. You cant have your cake and eat it too.

OP treats her like his GF then wonders why she is upset when he tells her she isn't. After 4 months of doing it. You can't make this stuff up.

In her mind you haven't treated her well, you've manipulated her to make her feel like she is your GF just to fvck her, and honestly I cant disagree with her.

 

[Pedrito0906]

I didn't want her as gf anyways, she has a bunch of pics with guys without shirts and pics of her ex.

I let her know that I just texted her, that imagine if my mom sees that on her db what would she think about her or about me that I chose her, and that tells a lot about her.

Sge won't delete them, if I did wrong that's fine, my gut was telling me to cut her off due to all the red flags.

 

[Gamisch]

I didn't want her as gf anyways, she has a bunch of pics with guys without shirts and pics of her ex.

I let her know that I just texted her, that imagine if my mom sees that on her db what would she think about her or about me that I chose her, and that tells a lot about her.

Sge won't delete them, if I did wrong that's fine, my gut was telling me to cut her off due to all the red flags.

It's a constant battle for improvement. Game seems endlessly deep, as you'll always learn something new. I came across this thread today and especially post #30 is EPIC. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/caught-gf-texting-another-guy.226115/page-2#post-2250707
Moral of the story is NEVER demand _fill in jealous action you pulled_ from a woman. Never. I did it too tbh, and man, I was being a beta b1tch doing that. (Who is that on your Facebook why is he sending you a heart, blablabla).

But you are doing fine bro. On to the next one.

 

[Pedrito0906]

It's a constant battle for improvement. Game seems endlessly deep, as you'll always learn something new. I came across this thread today and especially post #30 is EPIC. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/caught-gf-texting-another-guy.226115/page-2#post-2250707
Moral of the story is NEVER demand _fill in jealous action you pulled_ from a woman. Never. I did it too tbh, and man, I was being a beta b1tch doing that. (Who is that on your Facebook why is he sending you a heart, blablabla).

But you are doing fine bro. On to the next one.

I get that, but I don't think nobody will take seriously a woman that has a bunch of pics with guys without shirts on her fb, and pica of her ex. Everyone has a past but having pictures of her ex from years its something else. I'm cool I scored another notch, I will miss the food secks but they will more with other women.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I didn't want her as gf anyways, she has a bunch of pics with guys without shirts and pics of her ex.

I let her know that I just texted her, that imagine if my mom sees that on her db what would she think about her or about me that I chose her, and that tells a lot about her.

Sge won't delete them, if I did wrong that's fine, my gut was telling me to cut her off due to all the red flags.

:Eye roll:

 

[Epimanes]

No one can really answer but her.... and even then she's gunna sugar coat it if you asked her.

 

[Pedrito0906]

:Eye roll:

Welp, what's done its done, I allowed myself to get too invested, live and learn