why is showing emotion unattractive?

[BackInTheGame78]

Its because of their upbringing, ger brain was wired to seek the hormone of happiness, when you got angry it was familiar, because her brain thinks, well if he gets mad and start swearing, at least he cares just like my dad/mom.


It literally has nothing to do with him.

Sure it does...if he acted like this all the time she likely wouldn't be with him

 

[Bokanovsky]

whenever I talk too much or just start talking how I (honestly) feel, it seems to turn people off esp woman... or "overly sharing"

And yet when I feel "Fake" and just pretend everything is great without getting overtly excited and act kinda "stoic" it seems to work better.

WHY is this? showing emotion and being more upfront w my guy friends doesn't seem to be an issue, I just don't understand the reasoning behind it.

obviously it's not great to feel "stoic and fake" all the time, but it seems like that's what works better w woman I just don't enjoy feeling like I'm faking it.

I wouldn't say that showing emotion is inherently unattractive. It depends on what emotions you show and how you show them. Display of positive emotions, such as being upbeat, confident and optimistic is very attractive. On the other hand, constant negativity, whining, and portraying yourself as a victim can make you look stupid and/or weak.

 

[CoolWave1331]

You're human, it's okay to show emotion, everyone does at different times.

It's (more) important to know when/how to show them and also be able to have handle on them. I think this is the real problem. Example there some men who break down a lot, almost seems like life is in crisis 24/7. This is not good. Other extreme is angry guys who are extremely confrontational, go around picking fights all the time. This is just plain stupid guys. You need to find balance.

I have some books from Seneca and Marcus Aurelius. Stoic philosophy, it's practical but not applicable all situations. Sometimes need to show emotion to connect with others and to get point across.

 

[Drmuscular]

Women like emotions, they want to feel them and have men understand theirs. Its not that she dislikes you displaying emotions, if you were to fight a dangerous person enraged while saving her, that is showing emotion and she would LOVE that. She dislikes emotions because when she tests you she knows that you as a man can never lose on a real confrontation with her, having a woman affect you enough to spark emotion means that she is either superior or the same level as you, thus making her unsure.

I may ask you, if you were suddenly rich and famous, would you care what the random bum will say about you? No, you wouldn't even perceive it, the whole point of frame is displaying your superiority, or you being the "prize" with your behaviors and emotions, though I can add that some people on this forum overly exaggerate this concept and this clearly can lead to losing a girl regardless of how much "Frame" you have if she doesn't see value in you.

The only emotion she should be able to evoke is happiness, care, love, when she is being good with you, and indifference/annoyance when she is being disrespectful.

 

[New_Journey]

Sure it does...if he acted like this all the time she likely wouldn't be with him

Proves my point. She won't like that behavior because in her brain it creates anxiety and not happy hormones, therefore, she decides to not be with him. Its not him, it is laterally her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Proves my point. She won't like that behavior because in her brain it creates anxiety and not happy hormones, therefore, she decides to not be with him. Its not him, it is laterally her.

Not really.

It's the same concept of how your body needs water to survive but if you drink too much water you end up dying from irregular heart rhythm due to diluting sodium and potassium too much.

As with anything, the details are in the dosage.

 

[New_Journey]

Not really.

It's the same concept of how your body needs water to survive but if you drink too much water you end up dying from irregular heart rhythm due to diluting sodium and potassium too much.

As with anything, the details are in the dosage.

Fantastic, you made a complete different statement to disagree with what I said, your ego is so funny hahaha

dosage.

Dosage of what? Of happy hormones vs not so happy? brother, you are fbcked in the head man.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Fantastic, you made a complete different statement to disagree with what I said, your ego is so funny hahaha


Dosage of what? Of happy hormones vs not so happy? brother, you are fbcked in the head man.

Why are you so angry?

Is it Tren season again?

Get off that sh!t man...it causes rage.

 

[LTG71]

whenever I talk too much or just start talking how I (honestly) feel, it seems to turn people off esp woman... or "overly sharing"

And yet when I feel "Fake" and just pretend everything is great without getting overtly excited and act kinda "stoic" it seems to work better.

WHY is this? showing emotion and being more upfront w my guy friends doesn't seem to be an issue, I just don't understand the reasoning behind it.

obviously it's not great to feel "stoic and fake" all the time, but it seems like that's what works better w woman I just don't enjoy feeling like I'm faking it.

It’s call emotional labor and most women don’t want to make any effort. They don’t have the emotional strength to deal with themselves let alone deal with a guy’s emotions on top of it. They don’t want to feel responsible for taking “care” of you. They also can’t relate to the male world. They only see life from their female perspective.

Also depends on the person. They might be curious about your life or they just want to be entertained. You have to read the person and adjust accordingly.

 

[New_Journey]

Is it Tren season again?

Tren makes me lethargic and feeling like $hit, I wish I could take it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Tren makes me lethargic and feeling like $hit, I wish I could take it.

Even micro doses of it almost send me into kidney failure and spike my BP to like 200/150

 

[BeExcellent]

The issue is not expressing emotion. The issue is one of attitude and self control. I agree strongly with @New_Journey in his first response.

Lack of emotional control is indicative of emotional dysregulation. And people with poor emotional control are easily manipulated by others. It is weak behavior because it is weak minded.

As you go about your day be mindful of your thoughts and the attitude of your thoughts and the self dialogue of your thoughts. Are you self critical and validation seeking? Are you self assured and self affirming? Are you curious and observational? This matters because your inner dialogue greatly influences how you interact with other people.

Get in the habit of filtering yourself when you converse with others. Consider whether the thing you want to express is going to contribute in a positive way to the interaction. Think about how others will percieve you....not for sake of approval or validation, but rather to evaluate whether or not you should say the thing from a substantive place. Is it a value add contribution? Will others value your contribution?

Why do famous people shun the general public? Because they don't know the "public" personally and it feels weird to have people you don't know gushing about how wonderful you are (for example). It feels fake and strange. A famous person much prefers to be asked about something specific (like a young musician asking a rock star what is best to focus on in practice)....this is very different than gushing about how you are their number one fan or criticizing their music. Those comments are tone deaf and inane.

Nobody likes negativity or an angry or aggressive attitude. Negativity is a drag, its heavy. Often you are best to keep your criticism to yourself if nothing good will come from your commentary. Angry people are potentially dangerous and unpredictable people. That feels unstable and possibly unsafe to others. Certainly uncomfortable.

Does anyone care if you hate traffic jams or if that moron just cut you off? Does complaining about the heat change the weather? No? Quit passing commentary just to be blabbing constantly. Say less.

When you say less what you do say carries more weight. People become more interested in what you have to say.

Women appreciate an emotive man so long as he demonstrates emotional regulation and situational appropriateness.

 

[jhonny9546]

And people with poor emotional control are easily manipulated by others.

by "other manipulators"

 

[BeExcellent]

by "other manipulators"

No Jhonny, by anyone. People with poor emotional control make poor decisions since they have abandoned rational thought.

Do you need to be a manipulator to redirect/discipline/control a child? No. You simply remain calm and rational. No manipulation required.

This is why poor emotional control puts a person in such a weak position.