Why "Good Men are Hard to Find"

[BackInTheGame78]

You hear the saying all the time from women:

"Good men are so hard to find!"

That's because the type of men they hope will come looking for them are too busy chasing success and their goals to worry about going to look for them.

These men know they don't need to worry about that part of their life because women are automatically attracted like bees to sweet smelling flowers by their type of masculine energy that they don't need to go looking for women, the women will come looking for them.

That's not to say they don't need to take advantage of those opportunities when they happen, they still do, just that this mindset so many men have these days is what is separating them from the women they actually want.

While these men are chasing women, the women they want are busy chasing men who are too focused on their goals and success to worry about looking for them.

Something to ponder next time you wonder why you might be having trouble finding women.

What type of energy are you giving off?

The kind that women are naturally attracted to like a magnet, or the kind that repels them like a spraying skunk?

 

[Plinco]

A lot of it is because most people say in their bubbles, and it's the wrong bubble at that.

 

[Bokanovsky]

You hear the saying all the time from women:

"Good men are so hard to find!"

That's because the type of men they hope will come looking for them are too busy chasing success and their goals to worry about going to look for them.

These men know they don't need to worry about that part of their life because women are automatically attracted like bees to sweet smelling flowers by their type of masculine energy that they don't need to go looking for women, the women will come looking for them.

That's not to say they don't need to take advantage of those opportunities when they happen, they still do, just that this mindset so many men have these days is what is separating them from the women they actually want.

While these men are chasing women, the women they want are busy chasing men who are too focused on their goals and success to worry about looking for them.

Something to ponder next time you wonder why you might be having trouble finding women.

What type of energy are you giving off?

The kind that women are naturally attracted to like a magnet, or the kind that repels them like a spraying skunk?

There's a bit of truth to that but it's also an oversimplification. You can emit all the positive energy you want but if you don't have an effective transmission infrastructure, it all goes to waste. You are like a powerplant that's not to the electrical grid. You have to put yourself in a position where you positive energy can be harvested effectively.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Women saying "good men are hard to find" is like a guy with zero skills, zero education and zero grooming skills complaining that "good jobs are hard to find."

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Women saying "good men are hard to find" is like a guy with zero skills, zero education and zero grooming skills complaining that "good jobs are hard to find."

But there is truth in that statement because once a woman finds one they typically don't let them go and they are already in short supply.

More like saying I don't see many Rolls Royce's driving around my neighborhood.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"The men you speak of are paired up with all the good women... Your being a fuc-ing cat lady is LESS surprising than sheer boredom driving the entire city of Akron headlong into meth addiction"

 

[Travel memoir21]

I think a good part of being that ‘ Good dude’ is learning to bounce back from all the negative energy in your life. Like for example, you’re not always going to be in the best state of mind when you’re out in public, but when you get home is when you should be having some stress relieving activities like God centered meditation, weight lifting, tai chi, yoga, taking walks around your neighborhood and reading plenty of good books to stay focus on your goals and purpose. Take care of yourself first, then the rest shall follow.

 

[plumber]

the word good confuses everyone. should be "the men we want are hard to get". they can find them easy, just can't get. essential the same problem men have, looking in a higher category than is reasonable.

 

[jhonny9546]

That's because the type of men they hope will come looking for them are too busy chasing success and their goals to worry about going to look for them.

This post makes you think.

Put this thought of yours in the context of an LTR.

Hopefully, as a man, you'll have two choices:
a) Stay focused on your goals and continue to have sex, focus on the relationship, the kids, the family, etc. And when she presents you with tests like, "You were out all day, at work until 7, then you went to the gym, and you're back now at 9, and I've been with the kids all day, yet dinner's there and ready..." and you'll reply that without your job, this lifestyle couldn't be possible, and she'll get sulky, but after two or three times, she'll give in, and you, who held firm and didn't give in, can see her return to a feminine state.

b) You stay focused on your goals, and you continue to provide sex, take care of the relationship, the kids, the family, etc. And when she has tests for you like, "You were out all day, at work until 7, then you went to the gym, and you're back now at 9, and I've been with the kids all day, yet dinner is there and it's ready..." and you reply that without your job, this lifestyle couldn't be possible, and she gets sulky, and so you start changing your plans and spending more time with her, or coming home earlier, and at that point she won't give up, and she'll continue to test you on other things... and you'll start to wonder why?

Now, you can see both examples of couples... just look around the world and you'll notice all this.

Couple A will have the woman "chasing" her man, who doesn't care about the problems she highlights, while Couple B will have the man who logically wonders how to solve the problems that arise in the couple.

Both couples are wrong, sometimes because the woman isn't a good choice; she simply has insecurities and beliefs built into her relational imprinting, and the relationship with her family and parents. In Couple A, the man is too focused on his goals and won't compromise, and this attracts all the women who had an unavailable father.
Couple B, on the other hand, is a pleaser man who tries to replicate his mother's very dramatic relationship.

Both of these couples are magnets, and you'll see them last a long time, but if there's anything we've learned from our experiences, and the experts confirm it https://marriageandfamilyinstitute....ottmans-4-horsemen-for-a-stronger-connection/ (and we should trust them), it's that once we reach a certain age and maturity, we're ready only for "healthy" relationships.

By this, I mean that neither Couple A nor Couple B can be considered an aspiration for what you want to achieve in life.
And yet you see them every day and think they're somehow successful...
How?

They're the ones who haven't worked on themselves and try to keep the relationship alive with glue, because they can't do otherwise: they'd have nothing and would feel lost alone.

Now, returning to your post, you talk about "women," not "quality women."

A quality woman appreciates kindness in a man, without it becoming a test on her part or seeing it as weakness.
Kindness is the strongest thing a confident man can possess.

A quality woman appreciates letting her man know that things are wrong in the relationship, and she appreciates him making changes in his behavior.
She's rooting for you.

All our misadventures in the world depend on a few things:

1. Fundamental requirement: are you a confident man?

2. Fundamental requirement: is she a confident woman?

Now, put these two individuals together, and you have a couple where what a woman asks for isn't a **** test, but what she truly asks for, and the kindness with which a man serves is what he must use.

If you're looking for a healthy, mature relationship, and you're thinking of using seduction techniques and behaviors, and you believe these can work to attract and keep a quality, confident woman, this is where you're sorely mistaken.

A quality woman sees an "unavailable and self-centered" man as unavailable and self-centered, not as "strong, masculine, and focused on his goals."
So, if that woman is pursuing that man, ask yourself a couple of questions about who you attracted in the first place.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think most women want a mix of both of an alpha and a beta in one man. In other words, a provider who also has an edge.

Sadly, some men focus only on their business or making money but don’t develop that edge. They may be seen as stable, but not exciting, and sometimes their wives settle for them and later lose attraction. You can see examples of this in the MRP subreddit, where their men seem financially well-off but say their wives are repulsed by them. On the other hand, alpha-type men can create strong attraction, but they also bring uncertainty because they might leave or may not have the qualities needed to protect or raise a family.

Because of that, the men who manage to combine both stability and edge are usually already off the market.

 

[Dash Riprock]

You hear the saying all the time from women:

"Good men are so hard to find!"

That's because the type of men they hope will come looking for them are too busy chasing success and their goals to worry about going to look for them.

These men know they don't need to worry about that part of their life because women are automatically attracted like bees to sweet smelling flowers by their type of masculine energy that they don't need to go looking for women, the women will come looking for them.

That's not to say they don't need to take advantage of those opportunities when they happen, they still do, just that this mindset so many men have these days is what is separating them from the women they actually want.

While these men are chasing women, the women they want are busy chasing men who are too focused on their goals and success to worry about looking for them.

Something to ponder next time you wonder why you might be having trouble finding women.

What type of energy are you giving off?

The kind that women are naturally attracted to like a magnet, or the kind that repels them like a spraying skunk?

95% of the time, women have rejected these "good men" they talk about.

Instead they pursue the guy who's 6'2, skinny, lots of tattoos, no job, no car, no money, long unkempt hair, criminal record, and 4 roommates.

Then they claim "all men are a-holes." I've seen this over and over again.

I wish I was kidding.

 

[zekko]

Good people are hard to find, period.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I think most women want a mix of both of an alpha and a beta in one man. In other words, a provider who also has an edge.

Women want something that doesn't exist. They want men who are strong, assertive, aggressive and capable of violence but who treat women well and are sensitive to their needs. They want an emotional roller coaster ride that somehow ends safely every single time. Unfortunately for them, life is not an amusement park. In real life, a roller coaster ride usually ends with the train going off the tracks to crash and burn.

 

[Gamisch]

I agree. This is literally what I'm on .

I do however have to say that a man MUST go through a number of ..lays/ relationships before he is truly able to adopt this mindset.

E.g I can meet the hottest woman ever and even if she shows interest I'll ( automatically) " scan " if she will be too much trouble. Too much qoute on qoute, because all women are trouble to some degree.

Couple years ago I'd let her get away with bullshiiting me if she was hot, I was on a dryspell ect. Nowadays? Too much experience to fall for it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

95% of the time, women have rejected these "good men" they talk about.

Instead they pursue the guy who's 6'2, skinny, lots of tattoos, no job, no car, no money, long unkempt hair, criminal record, and 4 roommates.

Then they claim "all men are a-holes." I've seen this over and over again.

I wish I was kidding.

Most of the time they rejected the "Nice Guys".

Good guys are nice guys with a backbone that don't tolerate the disrespect and don't put up with the BS and will walk away.

Nice guys are the ones who think agreeing with everything they say and being a doormat are the way to get sex and women.

Very few women are rejecting good guys. They reject nice guys.

 

[The Duke]

I must not be a "good" man, the majority of the time I've had to put in effort and go look for the girls. I always hoped they would be lined up at my door step one day, but that hasn't happened yet.

 

[tksniper]

This aligns with my own experience. sometimes I’ll see a woman eye fvcking me but I would ignore her. And I would go through my thought process the entire time, like “How can I create value with my talents.” I’m literally thinking about how I can contribute to society while random women are eye fvcking me. It happens every day as synchronized events. The less I think about women, the more they eye fvck me as I am trying to figure out how I can contribute to humanity.

 

[Hal9000]

I dont know any normal well adjusted women who aren't usually in relationships and I know plenty of not particularly well adjusted ones who are as well.

The only women I've ever known who were, more or less, perpetually single were the bat #### crazy ones that nobody could stand to be around for more than a few minutes after banging them and those were the decent looking ones. The ugly weirdos didnt even get pumped and dumped that often because they were so toxic that few felt the effort was worth it.

If you see an average to above average looking female whining about the dating pool you can bet your last dollar shes probably on multiple medications, a drunk or otherwise certifiable.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The only women I've ever known who were, more or less, perpetually single were the bat #### crazy ones that nobody could stand to be around for more than a few minutes after banging them and those were the decent looking ones

Yeah, this is similar to the so-called male loneliness epidemic... Ask these men who claim "I'm isolated" questions such as: "Are you making a conscious effort to go out in the fresh air on a daily basis?", "Do you have subjects to discuss aside from groaning over how lousy Star Wars is these days?", etc etc

They'll stare back at you with blank stares, as crickets chirp in the background, or recite the standard litany of MGTOW rationalizations for NOT doing so

Tough to achieve one's goals, when he(or she)isn't even actively pursuing them

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Some women think "Hard men are Good to find" as a corollary to this