Why Good Men Are Giving Up on Dating : The Relationship Struggle No One Wants to Talk About

[Divorced w 3]

I make eye contact and smile with women on walking paths and other daygame venues. That gives me a better idea of who might be worth approaching. The majority of women do not acknowledge my attempts at eye contact and my smiles.

There's a lack of receptivity to approaches. This has been something that has gotten more common with smartphones, social media, and headphones/earbuds.

Prior to the smartphone, the MP3 player was common but not as common. There was no social media scrolling in public.



Midtown New York is the best spot in the USA for pure street game.

The automobile centered Sun Belt cities like Dallas, Houston, and Phoenix aren't good for street game. There are some outdoor walking/hiking paths in those cities where approaches can happen, but it's not the same as pedestrian street game in New York or London. The London Daygame Model was a street approaching system that came out of a city where being a pedestrian is common.

It may have even been reading something you wrote that got me into the smiling thing. It’s very good. Gotta stay loose and happy.

Midtown is the major leagues. Mostly young and mostly hot. It’s unspoken in hiring but it’s almost a necessity. Perfect spot for an older guy with his act together.

 

[Dash Riprock]

The issue for a lot of men is: “What is high interest”? They can’t recognize it. Or maybe they can and I can‘t.

When I young, an older female friend introduced me a Filipino Maxim cover model at a big event. I couldn't believe my luck and was so excited. At an event we exchanged phone numbers. I asked her out by text and she said yes, and then she would often text me late at night from University, saying “I just got off work, getting home in 20 min, how are you doing?”

You know what I was thinking? ”Ah, she’s probably with her 6’1 boyfriend going to sleep with him tonight, and just texting me to see how desperate I am for a girl.”

A while ago, I went with a hot woman a few times and really wanted to sleep with her. One Saturday night she texted me “Hi BB89, how are you doing?“. I was pumped, I was thinking “sweet, she’s going to come over and finally it’s going to happen”. I texted her back “Good, what are you doing?” Her <Silence> Again, I’m thinking “What, her boyfriend is sleeping with her at the time and he told her to text me that to see how desperate I am for a woman?”

So many more examples like that. So what is “high interest“ from a woman?

All this s*it about high interest.

98% of the time, high interest comes from 5-6's. 7s are very unique, but rare, and a good choice. But 8-9's have so many f*cking options they hardly show high interest to anyone because they have 500 more messages in their Hinge inbox and get hit on constantly. They are always looking for the next best thing (hypergamy). They are horrible gf's and even worse wives because their attitude is all I have to do is look pretty and show up. They are usually disrespectful and b*tchy with an over-inflated sense of self-worth. And it's not just the 20-somethings, this attitude has permeated women in their 30s, 40s and 50s whose best days are long behind them. So a man ends up asking, Is all the maintenance and BS really worth it in dating an 8+, knowing she's talking to other guys and probably sleeping with them too, even if she swears up and down she isn't? Simps will answer, yes!, every time. Or, does the guy go for the 6 who's probably a better long term bet even though he's not all that attracted to her?

The problem is in our wiring. Men, at any age, are more attracted to 9s than 6s. Thank biology for that. This is what creates the frustration and conundrum for men in modern dating. We could care less about degrees, income, and how many languages she can speak. Is she attractive and sweet? THIS is what we want, right? Unfortunately, this combination is about as uncommon as an albino yeti.

Throw in the fact that attractive women today will discount and eliminate a man from contention for the most miniscule of unforced errors, and yes, it's no wonder many solid men have given up. A solid man today, no matter his looks or bank account, needs to pitch not just a no-hitter, but a perfect game every time in the early stages of dating. Who wants to deal with that BS? Men whose sole focus is dating, that’s who. It’s usually the fake guys in expensive cars, with overpriced bling, talking big game, but are actually broke af, trust funders, or full of BS. Read The Millionaire Next Door for insight. Men with self-respect, dignity, and goals don’t bother with it.

It's likely to only get worse as women's attitudes spiral even further into delusion and out of control. I've witnesses all this first hand. It's gotten to be laughable, in a sad way.

So, save the speeches on high interest, please, unless you’re targeting far less than desirable women.

Ciao,
~Dash

 

[Seacoast Living]

All this s*it about high interest.

98% of the time, high interest comes from 5-6's. 7s are very unique, but rare, and a good choice. But 8-9's have so many f*cking options they hardly show high interest to anyone because they have 500 more messages in their Hinge inbox and get hit on constantly. They are always looking for the next best thing (hypergamy). They are horrible gf's and even worse wives because their attitude is all I have to do is look pretty and show up. They are usually disrespectful and b*tchy with an over-inflated sense of self-worth. And it's not just the 20-somethings, this attitude has permeated women in their 30s, 40s and 50s whose best days are long behind them. So a man ends up asking, Is all the maintenance and BS really worth it in dating an 8+, knowing she's talking to other guys and probably sleeping with them too, even if she swears up and down she isn't? Simps will answer, yes!, every time. Or, does the guy go for the 6 who's probably a better long term bet even though he's not all that attracted to her?

The problem is in our wiring. Men, at any age, are more attracted to 9s than 6s. Thank biology for that. This is what creates the frustration and conundrum for men in modern dating. We could care less about degrees, income, and how many languages she can speak. Is she attractive and sweet? THIS is what we want, right? Unfortunately, this combination is about as uncommon as an albino yeti.

Throw in the fact that attractive women today will discount and eliminate a man from contention for the most miniscule of unforced errors, and yes, it's no wonder many solid men have given up. A solid man today, no matter his looks or bank account, needs to pitch not just a no-hitter, but a perfect game every time in the early stages of dating. Who wants to deal with that BS? Men whose sole focus is dating, that’s who. It’s usually the fake guys in expensive cars, with overpriced bling, talking big game, but are actually broke af, trust funders, or full of BS. Read The Millionaire Next Door for insight. Men with self-respect, dignity, and goals don’t bother with it.

It's likely to only get worse as women's attitudes spiral even further into delusion and out of control. I've witnesses all this first hand. It's gotten to be laughable, in a sad way.

So, save the speeches on high interest, please, unless you’re targeting far less than desirable women.

Ciao,
~Dash

I agree, focus on girls that are 6s and 7s that are focused on fitness, they will reward you with attention and they have great bodies which are fun to play with. Battling like a gladiator over hot chicks is a waste of time and energy. They may not even have a high sex drive, and be driven more by attention which would be a disaster. At the end of the day it depends on what you're looking for. I have a friend who has a hot wife he is super proud of, but sleeps in a separate bedroom and has to jerk off every night to porn because she's not interested in sex. I'd rather have an attractive girl, not a smoke, who appreciates me and we have sex multiple times a day. Take the ground balls, don't look for magic.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I agree, focus on girls that are 6s and 7s that are focused on fitness, they will reward you with attention and they have great bodies which are fun to play with. Battling like a gladiator over hot chicks is a waste of time and energy. They may not even have a high sex drive, and be driven more by attention which would be a disaster. At the end of the day it depends on what you're looking for. I have a friend who has a hot wife he is super proud of, but sleeps in a separate bedroom and has to jerk off every night to porn because she's not interested in sex. I'd rather have an attractive girl, not a smoke, who appreciates me and we have sex multiple times a day. Take the ground balls, don't look for magic.

Ground balls can lead to DP

My 2 cents, try to identify the girls who are 8's to you but 6/7 to everyone else, and similarly seek out women who rate you higher than most women do.

 

[Seacoast Living]

Ground balls can lead to DP

My 2 cents, try to identify the girls who are 8's to you but 6/7 to everyone else, and similarly seek out women who rate you higher than most women do.

Not sure what a DP is? I really appreciate fit girls and will sacrifice facial aesthetics for that. At my age I'm willing to overlook facial aesthetics for a tight body.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Not sure what a DP is? I really appreciate fit girls and will sacrifice facial aesthetics for that. At my age I'm willing to overlook facial aesthetics for a tight body.

Double play or double penetration, take your pick.

And the face doesn't matter when she's taking it from behind

 

[Pumax]

You engage, she reciprocates.

It's also something that have to do with leadership, not only high interest.

For example, when I plan a trip, I often let someone else take the lead, perhaps by driving or organizing logistics. I then step in to suggest itinerary ideas, check in with the group, suggest new activities, and remain open to everyone's input. I don't act like a "parent" who gives permission; instead, I offer suggestions such as: "What do you think of this restaurant?" or "I know a beach, maybe we could go there."

In arguments, some people dominate the conversation and insist on being right (irrational confidence).
I prefer to listen first, then calmly offer my point of view. I don't try to win in discussions, I offer advice and let others decide for themselves.

So You can be a leader, without being the center of attention. If someone want to follow, good!

 

[BaronOfHair]

For example, when I plan a trip, I often let someone else take the lead, perhaps by driving or organizing logistics

Lousy habit when interacting with women, not only personally, but even in one's professional life. Something every reasonably sharp observer has noticed:

Even female colleagues and supers don't take well to men who require an immense amount of guidance, and who excel at identifying problems, but then offer zilch in the way of viable strategies to address those same troubles

 

[Pumax]

but then offer zilch in the way of viable strategies to address those same troubles

Well I do this

men who require an immense amount of guidance

Not me

 

[Gamisch]

Ground balls can lead to DP

My 2 cents, try to identify the girls who are 8's to you but 6/7 to everyone else, and similarly seek out women who rate you higher than most women do.

Well, when you grow the F up by being hurt numerous times by the 8s and 9s and even 7 deluxes you might readjust your view on what's the definition of a _fill in number_.

I've noticed again and again and again that high interest starts with HER. She gotta be all over you otherwise it's as good as pointless.

In other words: the 8 who doesn't like you should be diminished to a 3. On the other hand , a 6 who is all over should be promoted to a 8. That's playing this game of life with the intention to WIN.

Chasing the 8 who views you as a 3 is playing the game with the intention to lose.

 

[BadBoy89]

98% of the time, high interest comes from 5-6's. 7s are very unique, but rare, and a good choice.

When high interest comes from 5/10s or 6/10s, men instinctively know what to do. Anything 7 and higher, the man gets a little more confused by her behavior because she is more attractive, more valued by him and society.

You never see on Sosuave a man asking:

”I am dating an 46 year old woman, she won’t return my calls, what do I do?”
”I am dating a 34 year old singke mother of 2 boys, she won’t return my calls, what do I do?”
”I am dating a woman 12 kg overweight, she won’t return my calls, what do I do?”
”I am matched with an ugly woman on Tinder, where should I take her on a 1st date?”

You don’t see a man asking these questions because it’s in a man‘s DNA to know what to do. Any confusion from a man comes as a result of a woman’s; youth and hotness.

 

[MatureDJ]

This is good example.

i think.95% of Sosuave members aren’t good looking enough for this to happen to

Chad-tier men don't NEED game.

 

[MatureDJ]

A solid man today, no matter his looks or bank account, needs to pitch not just a no-hitter, but a perfect game every time in the early stages of dating.

It's OVER for NonZeroERACels.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Well I do this

Well, stop doing so, and begin showing leadership. NO human society on this planet suffers men who fail to do so. Read some books on the subject if you need to

 

[Pumax]

Well, stop doing so

What did you understand I do?