Been seeing girl for 3 months. Had a discussion about a relationship she freaked. Started flaking for about two weeks. Finally got fed up told her that if she didn't want to see me just say no..and told her it was okay to say no, I would be fine with it. During this whole time she would randomly txt me. One night I went out with friends, invited her to come but she said no. Then at 115 am she txts and says "you can call me if you want". Today she just randomly txts me and says "what are you doing now?" I told her i was at work and said what are you doing. WTF is that about though. I would think it would mean she wants to get together, but every time ive offered in the last almost two weeks shes flaked or said no.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why does she randomly txt what are you doing?
- Thread starter DonutMan
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I understand that I wasn't really a dj in this thing. But we kind of made a deal that we weren't gonna play games with each other. The week before the relationship talk she had been coming over to my house to spend the night almost every night.
Hi Donut.
Are you sleeping with her? This is important.
One of my plates is the same way. We got closer but then she asked me if I wanted a relationship. I told her I wasnt opposed to it but that I was just dating for now. She explained how much she opposes relationships and wants to be single. Since then she has cooled down quite a bit and we have only slept together once.
My guess is that it is a sh!t test. My advice is to continue spinning plates with other women and if she comes around then she will.
How old is she? This plate of mine is only 21 so im not really surprised with her actions.
Are you sleeping with her? This is important.
One of my plates is the same way. We got closer but then she asked me if I wanted a relationship. I told her I wasnt opposed to it but that I was just dating for now. She explained how much she opposes relationships and wants to be single. Since then she has cooled down quite a bit and we have only slept together once.
My guess is that it is a sh!t test. My advice is to continue spinning plates with other women and if she comes around then she will.
How old is she? This plate of mine is only 21 so im not really surprised with her actions.
Yea...shes 26 and we would of slept together but Ill just lay this out there even though it's embarrassing. We tried to have sex twice and I would get hard then lose it. We ****ed around a lot though. I would think that might have something to do with it...but she told me she had only had been with one guy, and that I was the only guy she ever felt comfortable with...bla bla. Said a lot of crap like that...which is why this girl messed me up a lot when she started flaking, cause I was REALLY into her. But now that I'm basically like starting to feel ambivalent about her, she is doing these little things to keep in touch..
Diaforetikos
Senior Don Juan
She just wants attention. As simple as that.
Look. As soon as you told her that you were out having fun, she knows she won't get any attention from you, so she texts you. Then you are at work and you can't talk to her, so she intiates contact to get more attention. Girls love attention.
My advice is not to give her any attention. She isn't doin anything for you, so why waste your time. You deserve better.
Look. As soon as you told her that you were out having fun, she knows she won't get any attention from you, so she texts you. Then you are at work and you can't talk to her, so she intiates contact to get more attention. Girls love attention.
My advice is not to give her any attention. She isn't doin anything for you, so why waste your time. You deserve better.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
starplayer
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2009
- Messages
- 226
- Reaction score
- 14
^ This ^Diaforetikos said:
She doesn't want you but also doesn't want to lose you.
She wants to keep you on a string. After she started flaking you should have NEXTed her.
Do this if you think she's playing games or sending mixed signals
Forget this girl, she's just an attention wh0re.
Yea...so Im pretty sure she thinks she can have me anytime she wants. So I'm thinking about not contacting, and taking all her **** she left at my house and putting it in a box and dropping it off with her doorman. Would this seem to bitter? I do want her back, but I'm not gonna put up with games anymore. So I think dropping her stuff off without saying anything would send a message.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Do NOT do that.DonutMan said:
Come on. She'll know that she clearly provoked a reaction out of you.
You either throw that **** away or don't touch it... but DONT do that.
By taking the time to pack that up, take it over there and drop it off... you are putting too much effort into it already.
Just lay low for a week or two and gauge what happens.
BTW, here's what happened:
Why did you bring it up? Obviously she freaked out because YOU were cornering her into a relationship... SHE is the one that is supposed to bring up the relationship talks.
What she is doing right now is gauging whether you're clingy/needy or whether you are the guy she first met.
And when women text "What are you doing"... it's out of boredom. Don't respond.
And why would you tell a woman that "If you don't want to see me, just say so, I'll be fine with it"?
You gave her the whole frame of the relationship right there by saying that. You gave away the lead. You definitely changed at some point from the guy she started going out with to the guy you are now.
Reevaluate what you did wrong and what you did right and compare.
Oh good lord, I didn't even see this until the second time I read this thread.DonutMan said:
Are you sure you two aren't just FB's? I mean, I'd be more willing to believe it if you guys hadn't slept together almost every night!
Don't you have other things and women to do?
And if she was coming over almost every night... why are YOU asking HER about a relationship?? And the only people that make deals "not to play games" are women who want to play games but don't want you to, or FB's.
I think you just really need to reevaluate YOURSELF, first and foremost and then reevaluate what this "relationship" really is.
Usually, every time a woman sends a 'what are you doing?' text or late night text, it means they want sex, but wont directly ask for it. I've almost never had it be otherwise. Call it a shyt test if you want, but I'd escalate that into sex, if thats what you want. I'd get sexual right back, and see.
"What are you doing?"
me "Thinking about getting you naked. You too, obviously! come over"
If she texts at 1 in the morning, she's horny. Simple as that. I would have called her up, turned her on, and banged the snot out of her.
Dont make shyt so complicated!
"What are you doing?"
me "Thinking about getting you naked. You too, obviously! come over"
If she texts at 1 in the morning, she's horny. Simple as that. I would have called her up, turned her on, and banged the snot out of her.
Dont make shyt so complicated!
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.