Been seeing girl for 3 months. Had a discussion about a relationship she freaked. Started flaking for about two weeks. Finally got fed up told her that if she didn't want to see me just say no..and told her it was okay to say no, I would be fine with it. During this whole time she would randomly txt me. One night I went out with friends, invited her to come but she said no. Then at 115 am she txts and says "you can call me if you want". Today she just randomly txts me and says "what are you doing now?" I told her i was at work and said what are you doing. WTF is that about though. I would think it would mean she wants to get together, but every time ive offered in the last almost two weeks shes flaked or said no.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Why does she randomly txt what are you doing?
- Thread starter DonutMan
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I understand that I wasn't really a dj in this thing. But we kind of made a deal that we weren't gonna play games with each other. The week before the relationship talk she had been coming over to my house to spend the night almost every night.
Hi Donut.
Are you sleeping with her? This is important.
One of my plates is the same way. We got closer but then she asked me if I wanted a relationship. I told her I wasnt opposed to it but that I was just dating for now. She explained how much she opposes relationships and wants to be single. Since then she has cooled down quite a bit and we have only slept together once.
My guess is that it is a sh!t test. My advice is to continue spinning plates with other women and if she comes around then she will.
How old is she? This plate of mine is only 21 so im not really surprised with her actions.
Are you sleeping with her? This is important.
One of my plates is the same way. We got closer but then she asked me if I wanted a relationship. I told her I wasnt opposed to it but that I was just dating for now. She explained how much she opposes relationships and wants to be single. Since then she has cooled down quite a bit and we have only slept together once.
My guess is that it is a sh!t test. My advice is to continue spinning plates with other women and if she comes around then she will.
How old is she? This plate of mine is only 21 so im not really surprised with her actions.
Yea...shes 26 and we would of slept together but Ill just lay this out there even though it's embarrassing. We tried to have sex twice and I would get hard then lose it. We ****ed around a lot though. I would think that might have something to do with it...but she told me she had only had been with one guy, and that I was the only guy she ever felt comfortable with...bla bla. Said a lot of crap like that...which is why this girl messed me up a lot when she started flaking, cause I was REALLY into her. But now that I'm basically like starting to feel ambivalent about her, she is doing these little things to keep in touch..
Diaforetikos
Senior Don Juan
She just wants attention. As simple as that.
Look. As soon as you told her that you were out having fun, she knows she won't get any attention from you, so she texts you. Then you are at work and you can't talk to her, so she intiates contact to get more attention. Girls love attention.
My advice is not to give her any attention. She isn't doin anything for you, so why waste your time. You deserve better.
Look. As soon as you told her that you were out having fun, she knows she won't get any attention from you, so she texts you. Then you are at work and you can't talk to her, so she intiates contact to get more attention. Girls love attention.
My advice is not to give her any attention. She isn't doin anything for you, so why waste your time. You deserve better.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
starplayer
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2009
- Messages
- 226
- Reaction score
- 14
^ This ^Diaforetikos said:
She doesn't want you but also doesn't want to lose you.
She wants to keep you on a string. After she started flaking you should have NEXTed her.
Do this if you think she's playing games or sending mixed signals
Forget this girl, she's just an attention wh0re.
Yea...so Im pretty sure she thinks she can have me anytime she wants. So I'm thinking about not contacting, and taking all her **** she left at my house and putting it in a box and dropping it off with her doorman. Would this seem to bitter? I do want her back, but I'm not gonna put up with games anymore. So I think dropping her stuff off without saying anything would send a message.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Do NOT do that.DonutMan said:
Come on. She'll know that she clearly provoked a reaction out of you.
You either throw that **** away or don't touch it... but DONT do that.
By taking the time to pack that up, take it over there and drop it off... you are putting too much effort into it already.
Just lay low for a week or two and gauge what happens.
BTW, here's what happened:
Why did you bring it up? Obviously she freaked out because YOU were cornering her into a relationship... SHE is the one that is supposed to bring up the relationship talks.
What she is doing right now is gauging whether you're clingy/needy or whether you are the guy she first met.
And when women text "What are you doing"... it's out of boredom. Don't respond.
And why would you tell a woman that "If you don't want to see me, just say so, I'll be fine with it"?
You gave her the whole frame of the relationship right there by saying that. You gave away the lead. You definitely changed at some point from the guy she started going out with to the guy you are now.
Reevaluate what you did wrong and what you did right and compare.
Oh good lord, I didn't even see this until the second time I read this thread.DonutMan said:
Are you sure you two aren't just FB's? I mean, I'd be more willing to believe it if you guys hadn't slept together almost every night!
Don't you have other things and women to do?
And if she was coming over almost every night... why are YOU asking HER about a relationship?? And the only people that make deals "not to play games" are women who want to play games but don't want you to, or FB's.
I think you just really need to reevaluate YOURSELF, first and foremost and then reevaluate what this "relationship" really is.
Usually, every time a woman sends a 'what are you doing?' text or late night text, it means they want sex, but wont directly ask for it. I've almost never had it be otherwise. Call it a shyt test if you want, but I'd escalate that into sex, if thats what you want. I'd get sexual right back, and see.
"What are you doing?"
me "Thinking about getting you naked. You too, obviously! come over"
If she texts at 1 in the morning, she's horny. Simple as that. I would have called her up, turned her on, and banged the snot out of her.
Dont make shyt so complicated!
"What are you doing?"
me "Thinking about getting you naked. You too, obviously! come over"
If she texts at 1 in the morning, she's horny. Simple as that. I would have called her up, turned her on, and banged the snot out of her.
Dont make shyt so complicated!
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.