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Why Does Moving in Together DESTROY Relationships

Georgepithyou

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What is exacy happens when couples move together, why do they suddenly hate each other and break up after doing it?

moving in seems to be a very common time for the bedroom to die. Do you agree?

Would the best solution be just not to ever move in together?
 

BackInTheGame78

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Because these people shouldn't be dating to begin with is the usual reason. They are living in a fantasy world that allows them to see the person the way they want to rather than who they really are.

I mean if you are arguing Everytime you hang out why would you think spending more time together is advisable?
 
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Mauser96

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Pick 10 of your best friends.

Try living with all of them for a month, one at at time.

Odds are, only 1 or maybe 2 , will be a good enough fit for you to actually live in the same household with.

So, it is PEOPLE in general, I believe.

As for a GF?

The big advantage a man gives up, is the ability to maintain mystery, tension and competition anxiety in the relationship.
Pretty hard to have her wonder where you are, what you are doing, and how she stands with you, when she sees you and your activities 24/7

Familiarity breeds contempt.
 

TheKid

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Because you can only truly be yourself and accepted by like 2% of the population.
If you move to fantasy island you die there as do your hopes and dreams and the person you used to be before you made the choice to die by 1000 concessions.
 

Georgepithyou

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The big advantage a man gives up, is the ability to maintain mystery, tension and competition anxiety in the relationship.
Pretty hard to have her wonder where you are, what you are doing, and how she stands with you, when she sees you and your activities 24/7
So what exactly is the solution? Just never move in together? Or constantly go out without her?

Familiarity breeds contempt.
That would explain why so many couples broke up during the lockdown/working from home
 

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Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Because these people shouldn't be dating to begin with is the usual reason. They are living in a fantasy world that allows them to see the person the way they want to rather than who they really are.

I mean if you are arguing Everytime you hang out why would you think spending more time together is advisable?
This so much! People chase disney relationships
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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So what exactly is the solution? Just never move in together? Or constantly go out without her?



That would explain why so many couples broke up during the lockdown/working from home
Choose your partner properly instead of settling easily. For example, This girl I just met tried gas lighting me on the spot and novice me wouldn't have known what she was doing, but due to my past relationships I was able to pick up on it.
 
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Hank Moody

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Choose your partner properly instead of settling easily. For example, This girl I just met tried gas lighting me on the spot and novice me wouldn't have known what she was doing, but due to my past relationships I was able to pick up easily on it.
Do you actually believe these things you say?
 

SargeMaximus

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Can confirm. Had sex with my ex gf more than I could handle when we lived apart. I spent much of my time at her place too. But once we officially “moved in together” all kinds of expectations and unspoken “shoulds” undermined all the good chemistry we had.
Covid lockdown definitely contributed too, but I learned my lesson. Keep the girl as a **** toy and if you move in together, have other girls you can stay with occasionally to keep the mystery and keep her thinking she could still lose you
 

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RickTheToad

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Just marriage stats in general, if half of all marriages end in divorce why bother? Those are not very good odds and I don't want to be screwed over.
When factoring in child support and alimony, it's close to 70% gross. You may be able to limit some of the damage with pre-nup, post separation agreement and separate accounts. But, one way or another, you will pay something.
 

2Rocky

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SO if you guys claim to be top 20% men, shouldn't you be able to have a top 20% relationship?

I think a lot of men don't put the effort into attracting the right kind of woman to HAVE a relationship with as a part of improving themselves and setting their boundaries. The people you attract mirrors what you offer.
 

SargeMaximus

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SO if you guys claim to be top 20% men, shouldn't you be able to have a top 20% relationship?

I think a lot of men don't put the effort into attracting the right kind of woman to HAVE a relationship with as a part of improving themselves and setting their boundaries. The people you attract mirrors what you offer.
I never claimed that myself, but it's a fair point. I've also wondered why if you're a high value male you see girls with lower quality guys. Sometimes HOT girls.

I have seen very hot 8-9/10's with the fattest or skinniest guys ever with no sense of style. Yet me with a good style and good looks can't get over a 7.5 and that is rare. Definitely something else going on.
 
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